Sandro blamed her for keeping her pregnancy from him, but what else could she have done when she’d been dismissed so summarily from his life? And the accompanying threat might have been veiled, but it was real enough to have kept her from Italy ever since. Or until yesterday, at least.
And that had been all his own doing.
And now amazingly she was going to return to the Campania at his side. Somehow, she was going to have to learn to be his marchesa. To sit at his table, wearing the clothes and probably the jewellery he provided. To be pleasant to his family, and welcoming to his guests. And never by word, look or gesture let anyone suspect that she was bleeding slowly to death.
She supposed there would be compensations. She knew there would be heartbreak. And she was scared.
Scared of the inevitable isolation that awaited her—the power he still exerted over her trembling senses—and the ever-present danger of self-betrayal.
She needed to work on her anger—her bitterness at his desertion. They would protect her. Build a barrier that not all his sensual expertise could breach. That was the way she must go.
All the same, she found her mind drifting wistfully back to the tiny dream house and its lemon tree, and she saw herself walking beneath it with Sandro, her hand in his, as the sun glinted through the leaves.
And though her mouth smiled, there were tears on her face as she finally fell asleep.
SHE was weighed down, sinking into the depths of a dark and bottomless sea, unable to move or save herself.
Polly opened her eyes, gasping, to the familiar surroundings of the flat, bathed in early-morning light through the thin curtains, but the sensation of being pinned down persisted. Even increased.
Slowly, and with foreboding, she turned her head, and saw that Sandro was lying next to her, on top of the covers. The blue blanket was thrown lightly over him, and, she realised incredulously, Charlie’s small pyjamaed form was also present, sprawled across his father’s bare chest, his dark head tucked into the curve of his shoulder. Both of them were fast asleep.
For a moment Polly was transfixed by this unexpected tableau. And deep within her, she felt such a stir of tenderness that she almost cried out.
She swallowed deeply, reclaiming her self-control. Reminding herself that she would have to get accustomed to seeing them together, although not in such intimate circumstances. And, at the same time, knowing a pang of jealousy that Charlie, usually awkward with strangers, should have capitulated so readily. She overcame an impulse to snatch him back.
Slowly and stealthily, she began to ease her way towards the edge of the bed. It was still early, but her need for coffee was evenly matched with her desire to extract herself from a difficult situation.
Besides, she wanted both Charlie and herself to be ready by the time Julie arrived.
Julie, she thought, her mouth tightening, who was going to get a piece of her mind. And yet was that really fair to the girl, who’d only been doing the job she was hired for?
Yes, she had concerns, but so had Polly. She’d been worried about her mother’s apparent resolve to keep Charlie a baby for as long as possible, and therefore more dependent than he should be at his age. Mrs Fairfax had lavished presents on ‘my little prince’ and ‘Gran’s sweet little man’, most of them in the form of expensive clothing which she fussed to keep pristine. Even helping his grandfather to gather up hedge clippings seemed to be on the forbidden list, Polly recalled wryly. Hardly any wonder that Charlie didn’t shine at outdoor activities.
And he was lazy about feeding himself, and doing simple tasks that Polly set him, probably because he was used to having everything done for him at other times.
I knew there were problems, she admitted as she slid with infinite care from under the covers, but at the same time I wanted to avoid another confrontation with my mother. So I have only myself to blame.
She stood up, then paused, suddenly aware of movement behind her. Stiffening as Sandro’s voice said a husky, ‘Buongiorno’.
‘Good morning.’ She didn’t look at him. ‘I was going to make coffee—if you’d like some. I—I don’t have espresso,’ she added stiltedly.
‘Coffee would be good,’ he said. ‘If I can free myself sufficiently to drink it.’ She could hear the smile in his voice, and bit her lip.
‘Shall I put him back in his cot?’ she asked.
‘Why disturb him for no cause?’
‘Perhaps I should ask you the same thing.’ Polly stared down at the floor. ‘What is he doing here?’
‘He was crying,’ Sandro said shortly. ‘He wanted a drink, which I gave him. Should I have left him thirsty?’
‘He’d have needed changing too.’ God, she thought, she sounded so carping—like a miserable shrew.
‘I even managed that,’ he returned. ‘After a struggle. Although I do not guarantee my handiwork,’ he added drily.
‘You did that?’ Polly turned then, staring down at him.
‘But of course. He was uncomfortable.’
‘Well—thank you for that,’ Polly said reluctantly. She shook her head. ‘I can’t understand why I didn’t hear him myself. I always do …’
‘You were dead to the world.’ His voice gentled a little. ‘You did not even scream “rape” when I joined you on the bed. Perhaps you sensed Carlino was there to act as chaperone.’
‘Maybe so,’ she agreed stiffly.
‘A friend warned me that when you have a child, the concept of “three in a bed” takes on a new meaning,’ he went on. ‘I now know what he means.’
Polly looked away, her mouth tightening, and he sighed. ‘That was a joke.’
‘An inappropriate one,’ she said, hating the primness in her voice. ‘I’ll get the coffee now. And—thanks again for helping with Charlie.’
‘It was my pleasure,’ he said, his voice faintly weary.
By the time she returned, Charlie had woken and was in a grizzly mood.
‘You are sour in the mornings, figlio mio,’ Sandro told him. He slanted a faint grin at Polly. ‘Like your mammina.’
She sipped the strong, scalding brew she’d made. ‘I’m sorry.’ Her voice was defensive. ‘But this isn’t easy for me.’
‘Or for me, cara mia,’ he said. ‘Or for me.’
He swallowed his own coffee with the complete disregard for its temperature that she remembered so well, then rose, swinging Charlie up into his arms. ‘Come, my little grumbler. Come and take a bath with Papa and see if it improves your temper.’ He glanced at Polly. ‘You have no objections,
