them. And I would never harm them. Never. Jacko and Billy? I consider them family, as well. Everyone at Becket Hall is family. No matter how stupidly they—”
Julia watched as Chance brought himself back under control. She longed to ask the real question: did he think members of his own family had joined the smugglers? Because she’d certainly gotten that impression through his few terse comments to her in the coach after they’d found the boys.
And yet, was that so terrible? Her own father allowed contraband to be stored in his church before the smugglers could move it inland. Everyone in Romney Marsh and other coastal areas, in some way, large or small, was involved with the smugglers, knew some of the smugglers, benefited from the goods that were left as payment for the use of an outbuilding or the loan of a horse. Her best gown, the yellow silk, had been fashioned from a bolt of cloth left for her at the vicarage one night.
“The matters of business that will keep you here for a few weeks,” Julia asked, “do they have anything to do with the smuggling trade? No, please don’t answer. I shouldn’t have asked. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Not any of it.”
Chance smiled at her. “At last. Yes, Julia, we shouldn’t be having this conversation. But I will tell you, I am not here to run about, hoping to capture smugglers and bring them to Dover Castle to be tried and hanged. I’m only charged with speaking to the Waterguards and such up and down the coast, hopefully putting some of the fear of God into them so that they will do what needs to be done. Because they certainly haven’t yet, have they, or Georgie would still be alive and thinking of no more than hoping to steal a kiss from some young girl.”
Julia nodded, agreeing with him. The pity of the smuggling trade was not only that it was so necessary to survival but that generations of Marshmen knew no other way to feed their families.
“I…I suppose you should go downstairs. Your…your father may be waiting to see you.”
“I’m sure he is, along with at least one of my brothers. As I remember it, your chamber is over there, on the other side of the nursery. Will you be all right? No bad dreams about bogeymen coming to truss you up and toss you in the Channel?”
“I believe they buried the king’s man alive as he stood in a hole and tossed the other man down a dry well, then dropped rocks on him until he stopped moaning. But as you said, that was long ago.” Julia hugged herself, rubbed at her arms as a chill overcame her. “No, I’ll be all right. I believe you. That all happened very long ago. The world is much more civilized now. Besides, Billy has vouched for me,” Julia said. “Good night, sir.”
Chance let her get nearly to the door to her chamber before he stopped her, turned her around at the shoulders. “Jacko overheard us, remember? The man gossips like an old woman. By noon tomorrow, they’ll all think we’re lovers. That means you’re mine, and no one associated with Becket Hall would even think to harm anyone or anything that’s mine. I’m sorry I could come up with nothing better, but at that moment it was the only thing I could think of to…well, to shut you up. Do you want me to tell them otherwise?”
At last he had come close to admitting that, yes, there could be danger here at Becket Hall because of what they’d seen and heard on the Marsh. Julia felt her heart begin to race again and willed herself to be calm. “I knew what you were doing, once you did it. But I’m only the nanny. No one will care what our…association might be.”
“So you don’t mind being my mistress, Julia?” Chance asked her, drawing her closer.
“We both know I’m hardly that,” she said, hoping she sounded firm, sure of herself and unafraid of him. She couldn’t let him know how she felt as he stood so near, near enough for her to see the golden flecks in his stormy green eyes.
“True. But you’re a very brave woman, Julia. I saw that firsthand, out on the Marsh. And a very intelligent one, as well. No one here would be surprised that I’d found you…decidedly attractive.”
Why was she still standing there? Why was she still talking to him and not running into her room, hoping there was a key in the door so she could lock herself away from him, from those eyes of his that kept drawing her in, closer? Closer. “And would they be surprised that you would have your…your lover pose as your own child’s nanny, insinuate her into their household?”
Chance grinned, even as he lightly rubbed the pads of his thumbs across her remarkable collarbones. “Hardly, Julia. Hardly. In fact, I imagine they’ll be delighted with my transparent effort to disguise our true relationship until such time as I’m ready to reveal the truth. Besides, as you said, Billy has already approved you, no mean feat in itself. We’re a rather unique family.”
Julia took a shaky breath in an effort to appear calm, collected. But this man knew his impact on her senses and he was letting her know that he knew. “Saying, however, does not make something so. If you think I’d feel safer? As long as you and I know the truth of our…our association…” Her voice trailed off as she felt herself becoming even more lost in the deep green depths of his eyes. “That is…you and I…I would not ever—what are you doing? Stop that.”
Chance had lifted his hands to her hair and begun working at that infuriating, intriguing bun. “Did no one ever tell you, Julia, that a beautiful woman attempting to look prim and proper is more often than not a siren song to a man? I’ve been wanting to do this from the moment you walked into my presence and began taking over my household.”
Julia felt the band on her hair coming free and the weight of her hair slipping down past her shoulders. He placed his hands on either side of her face below her ears, then slipped his fingers up and into her hair, sending shivers skittering throughout her body.
She should stop this. Stamp on his toe, slap his face. Something.
But, oh, it felt so good. His hands were warm against her skin, and his face was so close to hers, his full lips curved in such a wickedly intriguing smile. Her world filled with him, and only him, and all her defenses had deserted her.
She closed her eyes.
“Sleep well, Julia,” he said—breathed—against her temple. “You’re tired and Ainsley awaits. We’ll continue this another time.”
Chance watched as she opened her eyes to look at him in surprise. And perhaps disappointment? He hoped so, as he was more than disappointed himself. “You see, Julia? I’m a gentleman. But a gentleman on a very short leash and now returned to the bosom of his not-always-gentlemanly family. You might ask my sisters to hide you, but it would be safer, I’m sure, if you were to leave here, return to London.”
“Return to London? So that’s what this has all been about? You want to frighten me into leaving?”
“What I want and what I think best are two different things,” Chance told her. “But you should leave.”
“I don’t want to return to London,” Julia said before she could realize the implications of that admission. “I mean, I want to stay here, with Alice.”
Chance trailed his fingers down her cheek, then looped two fingers into the top of her modest gown, traced the skin just at the uppermost swell of her breasts. “I don’t know which of us is most dangerous to the other. But we’ll find out, won’t we. Again, darling, good night.”
Chance turned and headed for the hallway, scooping up his greatcoat as he went, silently cursing himself for having nearly lost control of his hard-won civilized demeanor that had been more than a dozen long years in
