tried to meet his eyes, but could not bear to see her shame reflected there. “I had a chance to be free of a man’s control and I took it.”
“You gambled with my son or daughter.”
She inhaled a quick breath. She’d gambled and lost.
He took her chin in his fingers and lifted her face so she could not avoid looking at him. His touch, even in this circumstance, even in her condition, gave her a physical awareness of him.
“You cannot pretend my child is Wexin’s now. What were you planning to do?” A muscle in his cheek flexed and he bent closer to her.
She shuddered. “I do not know.”
He released her and stepped back from her.
She shook her head in confusion. “I expect nothing from you, Adrian. You are free. I take full responsibility.”
He stood straight and tall in front of her. “The blood that flows through that child is mine. That makes the child my duty. My responsibility.”
She rushed forwards, grabbing the front of his coat. “I will not allow you to take my child from me,” she cried, feeling her emotions rise to hysteria. “I will deny you are the baby’s father! You cannot have my child!”
His eyes widened briefly. He did not speak.
Lydia let go of his coat.
Finally, he spoke in a low and rumbling voice. “You misunderstand me, madam. My duty is to marry you, acknowledge the child and take responsibility for you both.”
And then what? she wanted to add.
“I am waiting for your answer.” He looked down at her.
She glanced up at him. “That was a proposal? You wish me to marry you and give you control of me and my child? To have your secrets kept from me? How can I put this plainer, Adrian? I have no wish to be married at all, let alone be married to a man such as you.”
His eyes shot sparks. “Do not be so foolish, Lydia. This has nothing to do with what you want. Or what I want, for that matter. We must think of the child. If we marry in time, your son would be an earl some day. Your daughter would possess not only name, but fortune. No matter what you think of me, I offer a life of comfort, of advantage to our child.”
Her heart pounded. “No, Adrian. Forget me. I will leave London and you will never hear of me again.”
He stepped closer and seized her arms, leaning so close only inches separated their lips. “What of our child then, Lydia?” His eyes were like daggers. “You offer the child no name, no advantages, no protection, only the disgrace of being a bastard.” His gaze did not waver and did not soften. “You must marry me.”
She still could not speak.
He shook her. “For God’s sake, Lydia.You must marry me.”
She gasped and admitted her greatest fear. “You will be able to take my child away from me.”
He released her. “Yes, as your husband I will have that right. I do not expect you to believe me, a mere rake, if I tell you I would never be so cruel to you.”
“I cannot believe you, Adrian.”
He recoiled. “Then I will not waste time trying to convince you of my character. Make your decision.”
She sank back into the rocking chair and tried to soothe herself, rocking back and forth. He stepped away from her and stood, arms folded over his chest, waiting.
His words offered so much. Comfort, safety, respectability. For her and their child.
Their child.
Would the child have his smiling mouth? The cowlick in his hair? His amber-coloured eyes?
She had no choice.
She took a deep breath. “Very well, Adrian. I accept,” she whispered. “I will marry you.”
It seemed a long time before he nodded. “I will go to Lambeth Palace today and procure the special licence. If I can snag a clergyman I will return here and we will be married right away.”
As easy as all that, it would be done, and her life and the life of her precious child would be his to dictate. She felt as if she was giving up everything.
He had not professed love, as Wexin had done. He’d not professed devotion. He’d promised to do his duty to their child. Theirs would be a marriage of convenience—of necessity, rather.
She shivered.
He stared at her, so distant, so filled with an anger she could not begrudge him. All the fault in this situation was hers and hers alone.
“Have we come to an understanding, then, Lydia?” His voice actually shook.
She was not the only one overcome with emotion.
She extended her hand. “We have an agreement, sir.”
He walked back to her, a masculine stride of grace and power. “An agreement, madam.”
He grasped her hand. His hand was warm, his grasp strong, and, at his touch, her body again tingled with awareness of him. She wished she could be immune to this carnal yearning for him. It made matters worse.
He released her. “I will call upon you later today. May I suggest that your staff be prepared to allow me entry at your garden gate?”
To avoid the reporters who were certain to return. “I will have the gate attended after noon.”
“After noon, then.” He bowed.
He continued to gaze at her, but finally turned and walked towards the door.
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