think He doesn’t care what the rest of us do? My brother Ethan prayed every morning for His guidance and wisdom to come to him throughout the day. Far as I can see, he never made a wrong step in life. So tell me, what’s wrong with your life that has you confused? Besides that you hire other people to fix up your house a way you don’t like, of course.”
Cassidy smiled at Maude’s teasing, then sobered when she really thought about how to answer the old woman. “My job is very high pressure, besides requiring long hours. And—” She hesitated, knowing that once she said it aloud, she’d have to own the truth. “And I hate it.”
Maude’s wrinkled face wrinkled even more. “Then, why do it?”
“I work in my grandfather’s steel company. My father was supposed to take over the reins from Grandfather, but my parents were killed when I was six. Grandfather raised me after that. He always told me it was my duty to succeed him since my father was gone. I’m obligated to him. You understand obligation and family ties?”
Maude nodded, her eyes sober.
“Joshua doesn’t,” Cassidy continued. “He has no real family ties. He’s working with Henry because he wants to, not because he has to. I have to. But…” She stopped mid-thought. There was wisdom in the grave murky golden eyes assessing her. And she wanted that wisdom. “Miss Maude, do I owe my grandfather the rest of my life? It doesn’t seem fair, but then, you already told me the real meaning of fair.”
Maude only frowned, obviously deep in thought. She closed her eyes, and several silent minutes later Cassidy realized the old woman had fallen asleep. Disappointment pricked at her, but she shrugged. It was just as well, she thought. She knew the answer Maude would give her. Older people understood duty and honoring their family obligations.
So she sat thumbing through Maude’s Bible and came to the book of Joshua. She remembered Josh’s explanation of how he’d gotten his name, and wondered if Maude was right. Did God really do more than observe from afar? Could the distant Being she’d only thought of in passing for years really care enough about her to guide her life? To want her to be happy?
“I suppose you’ll be rushing back to your grandfather and his company as soon as your car is fixed,” Maude grumbled.
Cassidy fumbled the Bible. “Oh, I thought you’d drifted off!” She looked up into eyes that were shrewd and penetrating.
“Well, of course I did. I’m an old woman. I sleep all the time. Waste of time if you ask me. I don’t have much left before I go home to the Lord, and here I am doing something I don’t want to do but I don’t have a choice. You do. It’s stupid for you to waste your youth trying to be what you aren’t. Now, go keep Joshua company. I’m going to take a nap. A long one this time.”
Joshua looked over his shoulder as he pulled the trash out of the truck bed and tossed it into the Dumpster behind Irma’s Cafe. Cassidy stood leaning against the rear fender of the pickup, looking up at the sky. She’d been quiet ever since he’d left her alone with Maude. He’d taken her up there hoping time with someone with more problems than she had would give Cassie some perspective, but she seemed even more troubled now. “Did Maude say something to upset you?”
Cassidy looked at him as he walked to her side. “Not upset. She gave me a lot to think about. At first she mostly talked about you.”
“A truly terrifying subject, I can see.”
She smiled for the first time in an hour. “You are such a teaser, Joshua Daniels. What I’ve been thinking about are the things she said about God. Her perceptions of Him, and yours and Irma and Henry’s, are so different from any I’ve ever heard before. You all seem to think He really cares. Irma said He even cares what we do with our lives.”
“I believe He does.”
“I guess you must. She also told me not to waste my life doing something I don’t want to do. But Josh, what about that commandment? It’s something about honoring our parents. Wouldn’t that extend to my grandfather, too, since he was my guardian? He wants me to work with him, and I don’t think I want to. How is that honoring his wishes?”
Josh sighed. “I always thought this amnesia of mine was a burden. Maybe it isn’t if pleasing family is this much trouble. I can’t imagine not doing what I do. Doesn’t your grandfather want you to be happy?”
“He thinks Jamison Steel will make me happy.”
“Maybe you need to tell him it doesn’t. It seems to me that if he loves you, he’ll understand. As for God, of course He cares what you do with your life. In Luke 12:6 and 12:7, Jesus tells that even though sparrows aren’t worth a lot of money, God knows about what is happening to every one of them. Now figure that if He cares that much about lowly birds, we’re worth much more to Him. Is it any wonder that He cares much more what is happening to us and what we do with our lives?”
“I guess,” she said almost unconsciously, and returned to her silent perusal of the sky. “Could God have a different plan for me than working at Jamison Steel?”
“I only know that we don’t always understand at the time why things happen or why life takes us in another direction than the one we thought we’d go, but that eventually we understand. Then it’s like this lightbulb goes on and we say, ‘Oh, now I get it.’”
Cassidy crossed her arms. He could see her thinking, her eyes staring unseeingly ahead, yet alive and active. He knew a tough question was coming. She didn’t disappoint him. “Then…if He’s really out there directing things, why not tell us what’s up somehow. And why do awful things happen, like you getting hurt so badly, if He’s the one directing them?”
Josh took a deep breath and said a silent prayer for the right words. “You mean like, why do bad things happen to good people? It’s an age-old question and the answer is really pretty simple. Because He gave us free will, and some people choose to use it for evil or are just careless in the case of accidents.
“I guess there are some things that happen that He could stop like tornados and such, but He doesn’t. And that sort of plays into the first part of your question,” he continued. “If we knew why trials come into our lives, we wouldn’t need to rely on Him. And He wants us to turn to Him. In the tough times when we rely on His strength, He gives us this sweet peace about our circumstance, and we get to know His love better that way.”
“So He could really want me to do something else?”
“Maybe. Or maybe He wants you at least to change your priorities.” Josh dropped an arm behind her onto the wall of the pickup bed and stared off at the sky with her. He wondered if she saw the Lord’s majesty in the stars the way he did.
When Cassidy turned her head and looked up at him, Josh felt as if Jerry Frank’s prize mare had kicked him in the stomach.
“Why can’t life be as simple as this?” she asked, her hand gesturing to the quiet forest scene before them.
“Can’t imagine,” he said.
He stood there staring down into her compelling gaze, at a complete loss for words. All he wanted at that moment was to feel her in his arms and her lips under his. Josh stepped back, sure she would be horrified if she knew what he’d been thinking.
As he turned away, he thought he saw a look
