think it is happening to you one day, you must give yourself time to be sure, Francesca—but I think you will know in your heart if it’s real.’
‘Men can let you down, though, can’t they? I heard about one of the servant girls...’ Francesca glanced at John, who appeared to have his nose firmly in his book. ‘Something happened to her and she was sent away in disgrace. I asked Mrs Brancaster why and she said a man had let poor Alice down. I wasn’t sure what she meant.’
‘Ah...’ Sarah swallowed hard. She hadn’t realised the girl was so innocent. ‘That is something we ought to discuss another day—perhaps in private.’
‘It meant she was having a baby and she wasn’t wed,’ John said, proving that his ears were still listening even if his nose was in the book. ‘Timothy the groom told me Alice wouldn’t say who the father was, but he thought—’
‘Yes, well, perhaps it is best if we do not speculate on such matters,’ Sarah said. She herself had learned from her old nurse where babies came from when she was sixteen and one of her father’s maids had also been dismissed for having committed the terrible sin of lying with one of the grooms.
‘I sort of knew that,’ Francesca admitted. ‘But not why she was in trouble... I mean, what made her?’
Sarah’s cheeks were warm. ‘There are a few books on anatomy, which might explain how it works. However, making babies happens when a man and a woman make love—and that starts with kissing. There is more, which it would not be appropriate for us to discuss at the moment—but it is the reason your mama would have told you not to let men kiss you, if she were still here.’
‘Mrs Brancaster said something of the sort, but I didn’t understand her. If people are in love, why is it wrong to kiss and make babies?’
‘I dare say it is not wrong. In fact, it is perfectly right and natural—but society and the church say that it must only happen when the man and woman are married. That is why Mrs Brancaster said poor Alice had been let down by a man. He may not have wished to marry her after...afterwards.’
‘Then he was unkind and cruel,’ Francesca said. She frowned. ‘I think I should like to read those books on anatomy, please.’
‘I will find them for you.’ Sarah got up and went to the shelves. She ran her finger along them and took out two, which after looking at the pictures, she judged to be matter-of-fact tomes, which dealt with such matters. She handed them to Francesca. ‘This explains how it happens and the workings of a woman’s—and a man’s—body but not why. If the attraction is there, feelings are aroused...but you should never give in to them before marriage. If you did so, you would lose your reputation and you would never find the kind of husband your family would wish you to have. Also, you would be shamed and many hostesses would not admit you to their drawing rooms.’
‘Yes, I see.’ Francesca put away the books along with with her poetry volumes just as the bell sounded for nuncheon. ‘I should go to my room first. Thank you, Sarah. I’ve learned more this morning than I did in all the time my last governess was here.’
‘But I saw some of the work you did with her. You can write quite well in French, Francesca, as well as being advanced in your Latin verbs.’
‘What good will such things do me in life?’ Francesca asked. ‘Someone told me gentlemen do not like clever girls. I need to know about love and having children.’
Sarah made no reply. The morning had proved more eventful than she’d intended and she was busy with her thoughts as she ran up to her room to wash her hands. Both of her pupils had lively enquiring minds and it seemed they were thirsty for knowledge. She had answered their questions honestly, but she wasn’t sure that her teaching was exactly what their uncle might wish them to learn.
* * *
Nuncheon was a pleasant interlude. No one was particularly hungry and Sarah noticed that Francesca followed her lead and ate mostly fruit, drinking a pleasant cordial and eating some gooseberries that were deliciously ripe and stewed with a rich pastry crust and custard.
After the meal John departed with his mentor to begin his fencing lessons and Francesca took Sarah on a long ramble about the estate, showing her parts of it that she had not yet ventured to alone. As they walked, Sarah explained more of how babies were made and what she knew of love, which was, she admitted, very little.
‘I have felt tempted,’ she said when Francesca pressed for more. ‘But I knew it was wrong. I have been asked to marry, but as I had no feelings for the gentleman I refused. I should not want him to kiss me—or do any of the other things of that I have been told, but have no experience.’
‘I just wanted to know what Alice had done to be sent off like that,’ Francesca said. ‘It doesn’t seem fair that she lost her job, but he—well, she wouldn’t tell anyone who it was.’
‘She was being loyal to him, but I think it a mistake. If he promised her marriage, he should have been made to wed her.’
‘But he might have lost his job, too. Mrs Brancaster said that the maids were not allowed followers.’
‘You can understand why. If they get into trouble, they have to leave and then the housekeeper has to train a new girl.’
‘Yes, I see that—but why not let her stay until she has the baby? Afterwards, she could work part of the time, couldn’t she?’
‘I dare say Mrs Brancaster is doing what she thinks right. You see, Alice had been immoral by her standards—and that is how most people see it.’
‘Do you not think it unfair?’
‘Well, yes, I do. However, one has to live by the rules, Francesca. If it had happened to a girl in my employ, I should have tried to help her—but she would still have had to leave, because of the example it sets to others.’
‘I still think it’s unfair,’ Francesca said. ‘I liked Alice and I cried when she left.’
‘Yes, I can see that it would upset you. I dare say Mrs Brancaster did not like to do it, but she might have lost her own job if she had neglected her duty. Your grandfather would not have wished for a girl like that to continue in his service. It’s the way of the world and we shall not change it.’
‘Women can’t change anything, can they? Men rule our lives. If we have a fortune, our father or guardian controls it until we marry and then our husband takes over and it belongs to him.’
‘Not always...’ Sarah frowned, because her uncle had tried to control her and failed. ‘If a woman has a fortune and is strong enough and clever enough, she may control it herself.’
Francesca was silent, as if absorbing this knowledge.
Sarah hesitated, then, ‘My father was not a poor man, Francesca, and what he had he secured to me in his will. It remains mine even if I marry.’
‘Why do you work as a governess if you have some money of your own?’
‘Because it suits me. I have done other things—but I wanted a change of scenery and...I came here on a whim, but when I met you and John I knew I wanted to stay.’
Sarah took a deep breath as she waited for the girl’s reaction. She had told her as much as she dare and felt better for it.
