know. I just thought—” She shuddered. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It was a hideous mistake to agree to this. I’m completely out of my element.”
“You’ll be fine. Arizona will keep you safe.”
Chloe didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. What her sister didn’t understand was that Arizona was part of what she was afraid of. But she couldn’t say that to Cassie without going into detail. And how was she supposed to tell her sister that she had indeed had a dream the night of her twenty-fifth birthday and that the man in her dream had been someone she’d met the very next day? How was she supposed to confess that every time she was near him her body went up in flames, and that all the time they were apart, he was all she could think of?
Besides, not all of her fears were about Arizona. Some of them were about herself. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She felt herself changing. Nothing was as it should be. She wanted... Chloe sighed. That was the problem. She didn’t know what she wanted.
Cassie stood up and walked to the bed. She opened Chloe’s cosmetic bag and dumped the contents.
“Toothbrush and toothpaste,” she said. She rummaged through the rest of the items, then eyed her sister’s long hair. She picked up a wide-toothed comb and a cloth-covered rubber band. “Don’t worry about makeup.” She fingered a tube of sunscreen. “This has moisture in it.” She added a tiny bottle of shampoo to the small pile. “Arizona will bring soap, I’m sure. Use his.”
Chloe stared at the half-dozen items. “How do you know this stuff?”
“I work with preschoolers. If nothing else, I’ve learned to improvise.” She pointed to the piles of clothing. “Want me to do the same on that?”
“Please.”
As Chloe watched, her sister sorted through jeans, shirts and sweaters. She picked up a waterproof windbreaker, a thin, high-tech fabric pullover guaranteed to keep Chloe warm, two flannel shirts, a spare pair of jeans and underwear.
“Take extra socks,” Cassie told her. “Your feet might get wet.”
“That’s it?” Chloe asked.
“It is if you really have to carry it on your back. I know this from personal experience. I’ve baby-sat too many kids who didn’t want me to bring the stroller. I told myself it was just a quick trip to the mall and that they didn’t weigh all that much. After about five minutes I learned they got heavy very quickly, and I always regretted my decision.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Chloe said. “You’re obviously the expert.”
“I might have some shampoo samples,” Cassie said. “You know those little flat packages? Let me check, because they would be lighter than this bottle. I’ll be right back.”
After she’d left, Chloe looked at the small pile of clothing and wondered what on earth she was getting into. Would she and Arizona be alone for any part of their trip? That thought both terrified and excited her. She didn’t know what was going to happen.
Nerves fluttered in her stomach. Actually, that wasn’t true. If they were alone together for any length of time, she knew exactly what was going to happen between them. Was she ready for that?
She wasn’t sure. She thought about her sister and wished she could tell her what was really going on. She would like someone else’s opinion on her best course of action. Unfortunately, Cassie was a classic romantic and would only see the potential for love, not the probability of heartache. Chloe might firmly believe that love wasn’t for her, but that didn’t mean her emotions couldn’t be engaged under the right circumstances. So far, Arizona had everything going for him.
She thought about having a few words with Aunt Charity. No, Chloe told herself. That would never work. She couldn’t confide in the older woman. Arizona had been accurate and perceptive when he’d picked up the fact that there was trouble in the house. Chloe didn’t trust her aunt. Maybe it was childish, but she’d never forgiven her for not being there.
Chloe walked to the window and gazed out at the lawn. There had been a time in her life when she’d wondered if she would ever see this perfect view again. She reached up and fingered the locket hanging around her neck. Her thoughts drifted back to that horrible time when she and Cassie had lost their parents in a car accident. One minute everything had been fine, the next they were alone in the world. They’d clung to each other until the courts, unable to find their legal guardian, had split them up and sent them to different foster homes.
Three years, Chloe thought grimly. The family lawyer had looked for three years until he’d finally found Aunt Charity, their father’s sister. As soon as she’d been told what had happened, she’d flown back to America and had brought the girls home. Cassie had been grateful, but for Chloe the rescue had come too late. She’d been all of two months from her eighteenth birthday when she could have returned home on her own.
Chloe knew that logically it hadn’t been Aunt Charity’s fault that she’d been traveling the world. No one expected her to sit at home in case her brother died unexpectedly. But logic hadn’t helped Chloe get through those years apart from Cassie and away from the only home she’d ever known. So even though she desperately wanted someone to talk to, she wasn’t about to confess all to her aunt.
So she was going to have to be a grown-up and take care of herself. That or she was going to have to accept the consequences of her actions.
“I knew I had them,” Cassie said, walking back in the room. She held out a handful of cosmetic samples. “I found a couple that are face cleaners as well as two shampoo packs, so take them all.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate the help. I would have packed all wrong without you.”
“No problem.”
Chloe looked at her sister. Cassie had a very innocent expression on her face. She stood with her left hand tucked behind her back.
“What have you got there?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that. What is it?”
Cassie grinned wickedly. “Well, it won’t take up much room in your backpack and it will certainly give you two something to talk about over roasting marshmallows.”
She pulled her hand free. A condom rested on her open palm.
Chloe felt color flare on her cheeks. “I didn’t know that you and Joel had been intimate.”
“Oh, we haven’t been,” Cassie said easily. “But I do like to be prepared in case we ever decide we’re ready. So, do you think one is enough for you and Arizona, or do you want to pack the whole box?”
Chloe stared at the protection and didn’t know what to say. It was absurd to assume she and Arizona would become lovers. They hadn’t known each other that long. But like her sister, she had been raised to be prepared.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” she told her sister firmly, even as she took the condom and stuck it in her small cosmetic bag.
Cassie grinned. “If you’re very lucky, you just might prove yourself wrong!”
