“Am I?”
She waved an impatient hand as she paced. “I hurt his feelings. If I had known what was happening, I might have stopped it. There is nothing,” she said passionately, “nothing worse than loving someone and being turned away.”
“No.” He understood that. And he could see by the shadows haunting her eyes that she did, too. “But you don’t really believe he’s in love with you.”
“He believes it. I ask him why he thinks it, and do you know what he says?” She whirled back, her hair swirling around her shoulders with the movement. “He says because he thinks I’m beautiful. That’s it.” She threw up her hands and started to pace again. Spence only watched, caught up in her movements and by the musical cadence that agitation brought to her voice. “When he says it, I want to slap him and say—what’s wrong with you? A face is nothing but a face. You don’t know my mind or my heart. But he has big, sad eyes, so I can’t yell at him.”
“You never had a problem yelling at me.”
“You don’t have big, sad eyes, and you’re not a boy who thinks he’s in love.”
“I’m not a boy,” he agreed, catching her by the shoulders from behind. Even as she stiffened, he turned her around. “And I like more than your face, Natasha. Though I like that very much.”
“You don’t know anything about me, either.”
“Yes, I do. I know you lived through experiences I can hardly imagine. I know you love and miss your family, that you understand children and have a natural affection for them. You’re organized, stubborn and passionate.” He ran his hands down her arms, then back to her shoulders. “I know you’ve been in love before.” He tightened his grip before she could pull away. “And you’re not ready to talk about it. You have a sharp, curious mind and caring heart, and you wish you weren’t attracted to me. But you are.”
She lowered her lashes briefly to veil her eyes. “Then it would seem you know more of me than I of you.”
“That’s easy to fix.”
“I don’t know if I want to. Or why I should.”
His lips brushed hers, then retreated before she could respond or reject. “There’s something there,” he murmured. “That’s reason enough.”
“Maybe there is,” she began. “No.” She drew back when he would have kissed her again. “Don’t. I’m not very strong tonight.”
“A good way to make me feel guilty if I press my advantage.”
She felt twin rushes of disappointment and relief when he released her. “I’ll make you dinner,” she said on impulse.
“Now?”
“Tomorrow. Just dinner,” she added, wondering if she should already be regretting the invitation. “If you bring Freddie.”
“She’d like that. So would I.”
“Good. Seven o’clock.” Natasha picked up his coat and held it out. “Now you have to go.”
“You should learn to say what’s on your mind.” With a half laugh, Spence took the coat from her. “One more thing.”
“Only one?”
“Yeah.” He swung her back into his arms for one long, hard, mind-numbing kiss. He had the satisfaction of seeing her sink weakly onto the arm of the sofa when he released her.
“Good night,” he said, then stepping outside, gulped in a deep breath of cold air.
It was the first time Freddie had been asked out to a grown-up dinner, and she waited impatiently while her father shaved. Usually she enjoyed watching him slide the razor through the white foam on his face. There were even times when she secretly wished she were a boy, so that she could look forward to the ritual. But tonight she thought her father was awfully slow.
“Can we go now?”
Standing in his bathrobe, Spence rinsed off the traces of lather. “It might be a better idea if I put some pants on.”
Freddie only rolled her eyes. “When are you going to?”
Spence scooped her up to bite gently at her neck. “As soon as you beat it.”
Taking him at his word, she raced downstairs to prowl the foyer and count to sixty. Around the fifth round, she sat on the bottom step to play with the buckle of her left shoe.
Freddie had it all figured out. Her father was going to marry either Tash or Mrs. Patterson, because they were both pretty and had nice smiles. Afterward, the one he married would come and live in their new house. Soon she would have a new baby sister. A baby brother would do in a pinch, but it was definitely a second choice. Everybody would be happy, because everybody would like each other a lot. And her daddy would play his music late at night again.
When she heard Spence start down, Freddie jumped up and whirled around to face him. “Daddy, I counted to sixty a jillion times.”
“I bet you left out the thirties again.” He took her coat from the hall closet and helped bundle her into it.
“No, I didn’t.” At least she didn’t think she had. “You took forever.” With a sigh, she pulled him to the door.
“We’re still going to be early.”
“She won’t mind.”
At that moment, Natasha was pulling a sweater over her head and wondering why she had invited anyone to dinner, particularly a man every instinct told her to avoid. She’d been distracted all day, worrying if the food would be right, if she’d chosen the most complimentary wine. And now she was changing for the third time.
Totally out of character, she told herself as she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. The casual blue sweater and leggings calmed her. If she looked at ease, Natasha decided she would be at ease. She fastened long silver columns at her ears, gave her hair a quick toss, then hurried back to the kitchen. She had hardly checked her sauce when she heard the knock.
They were early, she thought, allowing herself one mild oath before going to the door.
They looked wonderful. Agitation vanished in a smile. The sight of the little girl with her hand caught firmly in her father’s went straight to her heart. Because it came naturally, she bent to kiss Freddie on both cheeks. “Hello.”
“Thank you for asking me to dinner.” Freddie recited the sentence, then looked at her father for approval.
“You’re welcome.”
“Aren’t you going to kiss Daddy, too?”
Natasha hesitated, then caught Spence’s quick, challenging grin. “Of course.” She brushed her lips formally against his cheeks. “That is a traditional Ukrainian greeting.”
“I’m very grateful for glasnost.” Still smiling, he took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“Are
