at the mess, at the broken dogs, at the clothes scattered on the floor. “I’m sorry, I’ll get it cleaned up.”
“I’m not talking about the house. I know you’ll get it cleaned up. I’m asking if you’re okay.”
The baby was crying, and the radio played from the kitchen. Lacey Gould’s eyes watered and her nose turned pink.
“Let me help you clean up.” He walked past her, into the ransacked house. “Is she looking for a fix?”
“She is.” Lacey walked away from him. “Let me get the baby.”
“I’ll get a broom.”
“You don’t have to. You have somewhere you need to be and I’m here for the night. It won’t take me long to clean up.” She walked back into the room with the baby cuddled against her. Exhaustion etched lines across her face and her shoulders heaved with a sigh.
Jay offered her a smile that he knew wouldn’t ease her worry or take away the burden. Instead he bent and started picking up the dog figurines that were still intact. The dogs meant something to her. He thought it was more about a life she had never had than a pet she wanted.
“We could get her help.” He offered the suggestion as he put the last dog in place. “We could try for a seventy-two hour hold and maybe get her into a treatment program.”
“She has to want help.”
“I guess you’re right.” He stood up straight. He hadn’t realized before that she was a good half-foot shorter than his six feet two inches.
He felt as though he towered over her.
“Thanks for stopping by, Jay. If you see Bailey, tell her I’m fine.”
“You could ride along and tell her yourself. It probably would be good for you to get out for a while.”
“Ride along?” She stared and then shook her head. “I don’t think you want to start that rumor.”
“It won’t start rumors.”
“It would, and you really don’t want your name linked to mine.”
He didn’t. She was right. He didn’t want his name linked to anyone else’s name because three years of Cindy had cured him of his dreams of getting married, having the picket fence and a few kids. He didn’t want a woman that would only be a replacement for what he’d lost years ago. Somewhere along the way Cindy had figured that out.
The baby was crying. “I can’t go, Jay. Corry is strung out and I can’t leave the baby here.”
“Bring the baby.”
Her eyes widened. For a long moment she stood there, staring at him, staring at the door. Finally she nodded.
“I will go.” She hurried into the kitchen and came back with a diaper bag and the baby still held against her shoulder. “But I have to change clothes first. I smell like a cheeseburger.”
“Okay.” He didn’t expect her to shove the baby into his arms, but she did. The wiggling infant fit into the crook of his elbow, her hands grasping at the air. “Umm, Lacey, the baby…”
She had already reached the bedroom door. “What?”
How did he admit to this? Honesty seemed to be the answer, but he knew he wouldn’t get sympathy. “I’ve never held a baby.”
“You’ve never held a baby. Isn’t your dad an OB-GYN? And you’ve never held a baby?”
“Never.” He swallowed a little because his heart was doing a funny dance as he held this baby and he couldn’t stop looking at Lacey Gould. And she had the nerve to laugh at him.
“Sit down before you drop her. You look a little pale.”
He sat down, still clutching the tiny little girl in his arms. He smiled down at her, and man if she didn’t smile back, her grin half-tilted and making her nose scrunch.
“Now aren’t you something else.” He leaned, talking softly, and she smiled again. “You’re a little charmer. I think I’d just about buy you a pony.”
“She wants a bay.” Lacey was back, still smiling. She had changed into jeans and a peasant top that flowed out over the top of her jeans. Her hair spiked around her face and she had wiped away the smudged liner.
“Ready to go?” He handed the baby over, still unsure with her in his arms. And as he looked at Lacey Gould, she was one more thing that he was suddenly unsure about.
“I’m ready to go.”
He held the door and let Lacey walk out first, because he was afraid to walk out next to her, afraid of what it might feel like to be close to her when she smelled like lavender.
* * *
Lacey leaned close to the window, trying not to look like an overanxious puppy leaning out the truck as they drove onto the rodeo grounds. Stock trailers were parked along the back section and cars were parked in the field next to the arena.
She had been before, more times than she could count, but never like this, in a truck with a stock trailer hooked to the back and a cowboy sitting in the seat next to her. Riding with Bailey and Cody didn’t count, not this way. If other girls dreamed of fairy-tale dances and diamonds, Lacey dreamed of this, of boots and cowboys and horses.
Not so much the cowboys these days, but still…
“Don’t fall out.” Jay smiled as he said it, white teeth flashing in a suntanned face. His hat was on the seat next to him and his dark hair that brushed his collar showed the ring where the hat had been.
She shifted in the seat and leaned back. “I guess you’re not at all excited?”
“Of course I am. I’ve been living in the city for eight years. Longer if you count college. It’s good to be home full-time.”
“What events are you in?”
“A little of everything. I mainly team rope. But every now and then I ride a bull.”
“I want to ride a bull.” She hadn’t meant to sound like a silly girl, but his eyes widened and he shook his head.
“Maybe you could try barrel racing?” He made the suggestion without looking at her.
“Okay.”
Anything. It was all a part of the dream package she’d created for herself. She wanted this life, with these people. For a long time she’d wanted love and acceptance.
She’d found those things in Gibson. Now she wanted horses and a farm of her own. Jay wouldn’t understand that dream; he’d always had those things.
“Lacey, we’re not that different. This has been my life, but I came home to reclaim what I left behind.”
“And it cost you?”
“It
