had for dinner last night.
Tomorrow was payday so she’d be able buy more food then. But tonight…
Steak? When was the last time she’d had steak?
What was the harm in going out with Ben just this once? Amy would get a good dinner. Surely it wouldn’t hurt.
What would hurt would be to believe that Ben would still be here a week from now, or two weeks. To believe his charming words, to fall for his sexy good looks. That would be a huge mistake. One the formerly weak Ellie might have made when she still believed in happily-ever-after.
But the new Ellie knew better. No matter how good his hands had felt on her, no matter how seductive the chemistry might be, the only thing she could count on was that Ellie had to take care of Ellie. And take care of her daughter.
That was the bottom line, that was where her focus was and would remain…no matter how attractive Captain Ben Kozlowski was.
Chapter Two
“So what do you say?” Ben’s voice was coaxing. “How about dinner? Will you and your daughter join me?”
Ellie was tempted, so tempted. She wavered. Macaroni and green beans again for dinner…or steak. Saying yes didn’t have to mean giving in. It didn’t have to mean that she was weak. It could mean that she was being strong enough to look at this situation realistically, objectively. Having one dinner with Ben was not going to change her, wasn’t going to make her a believer in happily-ever-afters.
“Come on. I could really use the company.”
He made it seem like he was the needy one. She wondered if that was a deliberate tactic on his part. Trying to make it seem as if she’d be doing him a favor by saying yes instead of making it seem like he was taking pity on a charity case.
Which would make Ben more empathetic than she’d expected. But then there had to be something okay about Ben if her brother had liked him. Johnny had been a pretty good judge of character most of the time. Like her, he didn’t trust easily. But he’d trusted Ben.
Thinking about Johnny hurt so much. But Ellie refused to show it. She’d played a weepy wimp enough for one day. It wasn’t a customary role for her. She’d had to be tough to survive the foster care system and not let it grind her up. Being tough included learning how to keep her emotions under wraps, how to hide her pain.
Ellie had few vulnerabilities. Her brother and her daughter. That was it.
And now her brother was gone. Which meant Ellie had to work even harder to do the right thing for Amy. Ellie’s stomach growled, reminding her that she had to take care of herself or she wouldn’t be any use to Amy. “Okay. I accept your invitation.”
Ben smiled. “Outstanding. I’ll follow you home and then we can leave from there.” Standing beside his big burly black Bronco, he stared at her means of transportation with distrust.
But Tiny the Toyota had always been there for her. She’d had the car since she was in college when she’d bought it used. Her husband had come and gone, but her trusty vehicle was still with her. Ready to take her wherever she needed to go, provided it wasn’t too far. Capable of holding groceries, of moving furniture, of playing loud music from the radio that still worked on at least three stations. Dependable, reliable…okay, sometimes a little temperamental.
Unfortunately this was one of those times Tiny decided to be difficult. Muttering under her breath, Ellie yanked on the hood release and hopped out of the vehicle to lift the hood and jiggle a wire.
“What are you doing?” Ben was at her side.
“Working magic.”
He could believe that. She’d already worked magic on him. She wasn’t anything like he’d pictured. He’d imagined a sweet young woman. Sure, she had a child, so he knew she wasn’t innocent. He just hadn’t expected her to have a will of steel. And a basic knowledge of the workings of a car. He’d never met a woman who popped the hood on her car and went to work on it herself.
“That should do it.” Ellie was startled when Ben lowered the hood for her as if she were a delicate flower. She wasn’t accustomed to being looked after. Her ex-husband had opened doors for her and pulled out chairs when he’d been courting her, but had stopped after they were married. It hadn’t happened overnight, but had been more of a gradual thing.
Ellie took a deep breath and kicked Perry out of her thoughts. She needed to stay focused on the here and now. Thankfully, Tiny behaved this time and obediently started up. There were no further exhibits of the car’s temperamental nature on the short drive home.
The two-story brick apartment building didn’t look like much from the outside, but it was across the street from a small park. It also had hardwood floors in the living room and two bedrooms, which made things easier with Amy’s asthma. And it had Frenchie Sanchez.
In her early sixties, Frenchie didn’t look like anyone’s idea of a grandmother. She wasn’t tall and willowy, but she moved as if she were. She was proud of the relatively few wrinkles on her face. She had short cropped hair which she frequently dyed when she got bored. Last month she’d been a platinum blonde, now she was a redhead. She had brown eyes, a loud laugh and a fondness for huge earrings. She wore flowing dresses and pants in colors like papaya and lime.
Frenchie attributed her colorful appearance to marrying a Cuban trumpet player in the early fifties and then moving with him to Europe. She had a Parisian woman’s flair for scarves and a dancer’s graceful confidence. She also had a heart of gold.
Ellie knew how extraordinarily lucky she was to have a neighbor like Frenchie to help out with Amy, to watch her while Ellie was at work. Frenchie resisted taking any money from Ellie, saying that Amy was wonderful company for her and prevented her from getting lonely. But Ellie had insisted, and had paid her what she could, which wasn’t anything near what the older woman was worth. But then Frenchie Sanchez was priceless.
She greeted Ellie with her customary wide smile. “How was work today, ma chère?”
“Mommy, Mommy, look what I drewed!” Amy waved a piece of paper at her. At five, she was small for her age. She had Ellie’s dark hair and brown eyes. Today she was wearing one of her favorite shorts sets, the T-shirt with a cat’s face complete with rhinestone eyes.
Gazing down at her, Ellie felt her heart expand with emotion. It didn’t seem like that long ago when she’d given birth and held a newborn Amy in her arms, marveling at her perfectly formed tiny fingers and nails, awed by the intensity of her love for her child.
Where had the time gone? Her baby had become a little girl. She knew it, but every so often it hit her again. Her daughter would only be small a short time, and Ellie hated missing a moment of the new discoveries to be had at this age.
“Let me see.” Ellie bent down to hug her before looking at the artwork. “That’s a beautiful drawing.”
“It’s a cat.”
“I can see that.” Well, she couldn’t really. It looked like a circle with eyeballs to Ellie. But because her little girl drew it, it was beautiful.
“Who’s he?” Amy pointed at Ben.
Ellie
