Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage. Susanna Carr
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Tina’s hands clenched into fists and she refused to touch the short tufts. Instead she flashed a brilliant smile and curled her hand around Dev’s arm. It was painful being this close to him. Once she had clung to this man, believing he loved and cherished her. Now she knew he would break her heart without a second thought, that he was doing this for a business deal.
She trembled as she rested her fingers against his muscular arm. Tina gritted her teeth when he covered her hand with his. She knew it was part of the act but she felt trapped.
“Thank you,” Tina said hoarsely to Shreya as her pulse kicked hard. “It’s a very popular style in America.”
She felt Dev’s arm tense as he looked down at her. Their gaze held and Tina realized she had just revealed where she’d been for the past few months. She needed to guard her tongue before she confessed everything.
“What do you think of my new look?” Tina prompted Dev.
“I like it,” he replied, his eyes darkening as he reached up and tweaked the spiky ends between his fingertips.
He hated it. Tina knew he would but that didn’t stop her. It may have been the deciding factor for such a dramatic change. She had wanted a fresh start and was prepared to shed her old self. Cutting her hair had been symbolic of the new and improved Tina Sharma. She’d regretted it the moment she had walked out of the salon.
“America?” Shreya’s loud voice jarred Tina out of her daze. “Is that where you’ve been? People have been treating it like it’s a secret.”
“I wanted some privacy while I recuperated.” Tina said as she rested her head against Dev’s shoulder. Her throat tightened as she remembered how easy it had been in the past to make this simple gesture. “I could stay in America and not be noticed.”
“Oh, Tina.” Shreya clucked her tongue and shook her head. “You didn’t need to go that far away. I’m sure you could walk around Mumbai undetected.”
Tina took a deep breath as the cutting words found their target, like a stiletto under the ribs. She didn’t need the reminder that her career was almost dead and that it had never reached the same heights as the guests at the party. “I wasn’t willing to take the chance.”
“Shall we go back inside?” Shreya suggested and motioned for everyone to return to the party. She was obviously unwilling to relinquish her role as the hostess.
“Yes,” Dev said before Tina could make any response. He held her hand tighter against his arm as he guided her along the path. She was tempted to break free but she refused to show any clues of her crumbling marriage in front of Shreya.
As Dev and Shreya talked about one of the guests, Tina let the words wash over her. She didn’t want to return to the party. She wanted to curl up in her bed and block out the world. But she knew that wasn’t going to help her situation. She had hidden away for too long and lost everything in the process.
When she stepped inside the billiards room, Tina wobbled as a wave of tiredness crashed through her. She pulled away from Dev and struggled to remain standing when she wanted to rush out of the room, the house, her old life and never return.
“Stay here and I’ll get you something to drink,” Dev told her.
Tina sighed with frustration as she watched her husband and Shreya get swallowed up in the crowd. She didn’t want a drink and she certainly didn’t want to see Shreya wrapping her arm around Dev’s as if they were more than just friends. She was glad it wasn’t Dev who initiated the contact, but she noticed he didn’t shake off Shreya’s touch.
“Tina Sharma!” someone squealed over the bhangra music. “Where have you been?”
Tina stiffly turned around and saw two women approach her. Dread twisted her stomach and she gritted her teeth. Prisha was a choreographer and Khushi was a famous playback singer. Khushi was in high demand and did all the singing for the most popular actresses, and when Prisha was attached to a movie, it guaranteed success. Both of these women had power and influence Tina could only dream of.
“It’s been a long time,” Tina said as they greeted each other with air kisses. “You both look wonderful.” Once again she wished she’d had the chance to change into a party dress. Then she wouldn’t look like the outsider that she was.
“Thank you. By the way,” Prisha said as she placed her hand on Tina’s shoulder, “I didn’t have a chance to give my condolences.”
Tina froze as the sudden tears stung her eyes. No, no, no! The grief surrounded her suddenly and threatened to pull her down. She wasn’t prepared for this.
“It was such a shame,” Prisha said, her insincerity shining through her eyes as she moved closer. “I couldn’t believe you had miscarried so late in your pregnancy.”
“It was a painful time for both of us,” Tina said brokenly. She wanted to get away but she couldn’t move her feet. She needed to change the subject but fragmented images flickered through her mind.
“Did the doctors figure out what went wrong?” Khushi asked.
Tina closed her eyes. She knew she would have to deal with these questions, but she wasn’t prepared to share those dark moments with anyone. “No,” she croaked.
Prisha gave a sympathetic pat on her shoulder. “I’m sure next time you’ll be more careful.”
Tina gasped as the pain radiated through her. She jerked away and glared at Prisha, hating how the other woman’s eyes glittered triumphantly. How did she know that the guilt and confusion swirled around her mind at night? That she continued to question what she could have done differently to save her baby?
“She’s just offering advice,” Khushi said as she held her hands up in surrender. “You’ll need to get pregnant again soon if you want to stay married to Dev.”
Get pregnant? No, never again. She’d made that decision months ago and it broke her heart to think she wouldn’t be a mother. But she refused to take another risk. She couldn’t relive the fear and hopelessness. The devastation. It was a matter of survival.
Tina swiped the tip of her tongue over her lips as she struggled to maintain her composure. “What are you trying to say?”
“What everyone else is,” Khushi said with a sly smile before she strolled away, arm in arm with Prisha. “That the only reason Dev married you was because you were carrying the Arjun heir.”
Tina refused to watch the women leave. She stared straight ahead, the party a blur, as the anger bubbled up inside her. She had no comeback or argument. She had nothing to defend herself with because the women spoke the truth.
Tina remembered the moment she had told Dev she was pregnant. She had been uncertain how he would respond. She’d known the baby was going to change the course of his life but she hadn’t expected the excitement to leap in his eyes. His wide smile and fierce embrace had told her everything she’d needed to know. His immediate marriage proposal was more than she could have ever hoped.
He was a better actor than she gave him credit for.
But no one thought she had deserved the marriage proposal. Moviegoers