I didn’t know.”
Lacey looked away from the baby and from more memories.
“I need to pack.”
“I’m sorry, Lacey.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Lacey grabbed clothes out of her dresser. “I’m going to take a shower while you feed her. You need to make sure you’re up and around before Jay gets here.”
When Lacey walked out of the bathroom, he was standing by the door, a cowboy in jeans, a T-shirt and a ball cap covering his dark hair. He nodded and moved away from the door. In the small confines of her apartment she realized how tall he was, towering over her, making her feel smaller than her five-feet-five height.
“Oh, you’re earlier than I expected.”
“I thought it would be best if we got most of it done before it gets hot.”
“I don’t have a lot. It won’t take long.” She looked around and so did Jay. This was her life, all twenty-eight years packed into a studio apartment.
“We should be able to get it all in the stock trailer and the back of my truck.”
“Do you want a cup of coffee first? I still have a few things to pack.”
“No coffee for me. I’ll start carrying boxes out.”
Lacey pointed to the boxes that she’d packed the night before. And she let him go, because he was Jay Blackhorse and he wasn’t going to sit and have a cup of coffee with her. And she was okay with that.
Her six-month relationship with Lance Carmichael had taught her a lot. He had taught her not to open her heart up, not to share. She would never forget that last night, their last date.
I can’t handle this. It’s too much reality. His words echoed in her mind, taunting her, making a joke of her dreams.
“Are there any breakables in the boxes?” Jay had crossed the room.
Lacey turned from pouring herself a cup of coffee. He stood in front of the boxes, tall and suntanned, graceful for his size. He was all country, right down to the worn boots and cracked leather belt.
He turned and she smiled, because he wore a tan-and-brown beaded necklace that didn’t fit what she knew about Jay Blackhorse. Not that she knew much. Or would ever know much.
Funny, she wanted to know more. Maybe because he was city and country, Aeropostale and Wrangler. Maybe it was the wounded look in his eyes, brief flashes that she caught from time to time, before he shut it down and turned on that country-boy smile.
“I’ve marked the ones that are fragile,” she answered, and then grabbed an empty box to pack the stuff in the kitchen that she hadn’t gotten to the night before.
Jay picked up a box and walked out the front door, pushing it closed behind him. And Corry whistled. Lacey shot her sister a warning look and then turned to the cabinet of canned goods and boxes of cereal. She agreed with the whistle.
Two hours later Lacey followed behind Jay’s truck and the stock trailer that contained her life. Corry had stayed behind. And that had been fine with Lacey. She didn’t need her sister underfoot, and the baby would be better in an empty apartment than out in the sun while they unloaded furniture and boxes.
From visits with Jay’s mom, Lacey had seen the farmhouse where Jay’s grandparents had lived. But as she pulled up, it changed and it became her home. She swallowed a real lump in her throat as she parked next to the house and got out of her car.
The lawn was a little overgrown and the flower gardens were out of control, but roses climbed the posts at the corner of the porch and wisteria wound around a trellis at one side of the covered porch.
Her house.
Jay got out of his truck and joined her. “It isn’t much.”
“It’s a house,” she whispered, knowing he wouldn’t understand. She could look down the road and see the large brick house he’d grown up in. It had five bedrooms and the living room walls were covered with pictures of the children and the new grandchild that Wilma Blackhorse didn’t get to see enough of.
“Yes, it’s a house.” He kind of shrugged. He didn’t get it.
“I’ve never lived in a house.” She bit down on her bottom lip, because that was more than she’d wanted to share, more than she wanted him to know about her.
“I see.” He looked down at her, his smile softer than before. “You grew up in St. Louis, right?”
“Yes.”
“I guess moving to Gibson was a big change?”
“It was.” She walked to the back of his truck. “I want to thank you for this place, Jay. I know that you don’t want me here…”
He raised a hand and shook his head. “This isn’t my decision. But I don’t have anything against you being here.”
She let it go, but she could have argued. Of course he minded her being there. She could see it in his eyes, the way he watched her. He didn’t want her anywhere near his family farm.
Jay followed Lacey up the back steps of the house and into the big kitchen that his grandmother had spent so much time in. The room was pale green and the cabinets were white. His mom had painted it a few years ago to brighten it up.
But it still smelled like his grandmother, like cantaloupe and vine-ripened tomatoes. He almost expected her to be standing at the stove, taking out a fresh batch of cookies.
The memory brought a smile he hadn’t expected. It had been a long time since his grandmother’s image had been the one that he envisioned in this house. It took him by surprise, that it wasn’t Jamie he thought of in this house, the way he’d thought of her for nine years. He put the box down and realized that Lacey was watching him.
“Good memories?” she asked, curiosity in brown eyes that narrowed to study his face.
“Yes, good memories. My grandmother was a great cook.”
He didn’t say, “unlike Mom.”
“Oh, I see.”
“I guess you probably do. My mom tries too hard to be creative. She always ends up adding the wrong seasoning, the wrong spices. You know she puts cinnamon and curry on her roast, right?”
Lacey nodded. She was opening cabinets and peeking in the pantry. She turned, her smile lighting her face and settling in her eyes. Over a house.
“I love your mom.” Lacey opened the box she’d carried in. “I want to be like her someday.”
She turned a little pink and he didn’t say anything.
“I want to have a garden and can tomatoes in the fall,” she explained, still pink, and it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
He didn’t want to hear her dreams,
