she stopped but didn’t turn around. Just a few more seconds and she’d be steadier. She drew a deep breath, willing her hands to stop shaking. Behind her, she heard Nick approach. Her nerves wound tighter. Lord, why couldn’t he give her a moment to pull herself together?
Slowly, she turned, realizing how it must feel to face a firing squad. “I can see from the look on your face you’re not going to thank me,” she said.
His eyes raked her like sharp instruments as he drew nearer. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine.”
He stopped less than a foot away—so close she could feel the heat of his anger mingling with the heady aroma of male sweat and aftershave. By the looks of him, she was in for a major butt-chewing.
“Good,” he snapped. “Because you’ve got two minutes to explain to me what the hell you were trying to pull.”
Nick wasn’t sure if he wanted to throttle her on the spot or embrace her for bringing down two suspects twice her size single-handedly—even if she had done it by the skin of her teeth. He wasn’t sure of a whole hell of a lot at the moment because his own adrenaline had yet to ebb. The only thing he knew for certain was that she looked shaken and vulnerable and tough all at once, and he wasn’t sure which facet ticked him off the most. To top things off she looked way too good in that blue uniform with her flushed cheeks and red-brown hair tumbling over her shoulders like strands of tangled silk.
“I told you to stay in the truck, not to take down two armed suspects like some kind of female Rambo,” he said.
“I wasn’t going to let two thugs get away in the name of decorum. I’m sorry if that ticks you off, Chief, but I don’t operate that way.”
“You’re a probationary officer, McNeal. You haven’t even filled out your forms and already you’re jumping on suspects.”
“I backed you up.”
“You disobeyed a direct order.”
“I used my best judgment,” she retorted. “Where in the hell were you?”
“The guy in the rear kept me a little too busy to baby-sit you.”
Anger flared in her eyes. “I’m a trained police officer.”
“You’re a loose cannon.”
Her wince was almost imperceptible, but Nick saw it and knew he’d hit a nerve. His temper wouldn’t let him back off. “I won’t have you taking risks and endangering yourself and everyone else because you have something to prove.”
“Maybe you’d rather Steph lost her other parent in there!”
The words struck him dead center. Nick felt himself recoil. Emotionally. Physically. He tried to squelch the reaction. He didn’t want her to know she’d struck a geyser of guilt than ran a mile deep in his heart. He didn’t want her to know he felt the depth of that guilt every time he looked at his daughter and saw that wheelchair.
“Don’t push me, McNeal,” he warned. “You’ll lose.”
She blinked, as if her own words had shocked her. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for—”
“Frank warned me about that killer instinct of yours.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Sure you did. Don’t lessen the impact by trying to take it back now. Go for the jugular. That’s your style, isn’t it?”
“You don’t have a clue what my style is.”
He tried to curb the anger building in his chest, but it had already gotten away from him. He knew he was overreacting, but this woman had a way of pushing all the wrong buttons. “You like stepping a little too close to the edge, don’t you, McNeal?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You got a death wish or something?” he asked.
“That’s a ridiculous question.”
“Maybe you’re trying to make up for something you did or didn’t do in that warehouse six months ago.”
Her entire body jolted. “Go to hell.”
Before he realized he was going to touch her, Nick took her arm and guided her to the truck, away from the curious eyes of his deputies and the crowd that had gathered in front of the bar. “You weren’t straight with me.”
“I never lied to you.”
“Don’t spew semantics at me. Your head being screwed up over that shooting was bad enough. But your little penchant for taking risks is a disaster waiting to happen.”
“You’re overreacting—”
“I always overreact when someone lies to me. It ticks me off!”
“I reacted like a cop, Nick. I did what I thought was right.”
“Did you even bother to think that we didn’t have backup? That you didn’t have cuffs? That the suspect could have had another weapon in his freaking sock? That a civilian could have been shot in that scuffle?”
“Of course I did! I considered all those things.”
Nick stopped when they reached the truck. “When I tell you to do something, you’d better do it. And I mean down to the letter. You got that?”
“I disarmed two dangerous suspects. I backed you up.”
“You walked into a dangerous situation half-cocked. If we’re going to work together, I’ve got to be able to trust you, McNeal. As it is now, I don’t. I sure as hell don’t trust your judgment.”
“My judgment bagged two suspects—”
“You’re not ready to return to the field!” Nick’s hands shook with rage. He was unreasonably angry. He saw it clearly, but couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to analyze the reaction she’d unleashed inside him. He didn’t want to name its source. But it hit close to home, and he felt it like a bad piece of meat stuck in his gullet, rotting him from the inside out.
He stared at her, the only sounds coming from their labored breathing and the traffic on Commerce Street. The realization of what she was struck him like a blow. Erin was a risk taker. An adrenaline junkie. After the way she’d put herself on the line just now, he wouldn’t be far off the mark if he called her reckless. Nick couldn’t deal with recklessness. Not after Rita. Not after the havoc her death had wreaked on his life and the life of his little girl.
Releasing Erin abruptly, he stepped back, stunned by the depth of his rage. “I want a full report on my desk, then I want you to clean out your locker.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re a smart woman. You figure it out.”
Incredulity filled her gaze. “You can’t fire me.”
“I
