shoulders.
Oh, such fanciful ramblings. She was actually beginning to believe that she did know John well enough to sense that he was experiencing a great deal of inner turmoil, and that he needed her to share his crushing burden.
“Are we on equal terms, John?” she said. “I believe you keep your innermost feelings to yourself. I also think that you’re a loner, a man who moves through life marching to the beat of his own drummer.”
Laura smiled. “Don’t ask me where all that came from, because I really don’t know. I just feel very tuned in to you somehow.” Her smile faded. “Are you going to be honest and open with me, if I am with you?”
Hell, no, John thought, taking a swig of the beer that was now distastefully warm. He didn’t dump his problems on anyone…never had, never would.
He was a loner, just as Laura had pegged him. To have someone to share with required a man to belong, to fit in, and that just wasn’t the way his deck was stacked.
But yet…
This woman, this Laura with the unknown last name, was reaching out to him, and for reasons he couldn’t begin to understand he was starting to allow her to touch him deep within, could feel the warmth and gentleness of her caring.
Crazy. This whole conversation with Laura was nuts. He was succumbing to his bone-deep exhaustion and the tangled maze in his beleaguered brain. Hell, this was more than a step away from reality, it was a world apart from how he normally operated.
He should leave, just get up and walk out of there.
But he didn’t want to, wasn’t going to, and he was definitely losing his mind.
Ah, what the hell. Maybe if he talked about what he was facing, he could get a better handle on it, decide on a course of action.
That would sure as hell be a new way of doing things for him, but this night was different from any other…and so was pretty Laura. Oh, yes, so was Laura.
He nodded. “Okay. You’ve got a deal. We’ll be honest and up front.” A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “After all, we’ve known each other for years. Right?”
Their eyes met and the music and noise of the crowd faded into oblivion. They were encased in a sudden hazy mist that swirled around them, dipping, stroking, heightening awareness of the other and causing embers of desire to begin to glow deep within them.
“Right,” Laura whispered, unable to tear her gaze from John’s. “I’ve known you for years and years, John.”
He nodded slowly, attempting and failing to ignore the coiling heat low in his body, and the increased tempo of his heart.
Lust? he thought, in self-disgust. He was no better than Pete the Pest. Worse yet was the fact that Laura wasn’t even his type.
She hadn’t come into Jake’s looking for a man, hadn’t been on the prowl like the other women who knew the rules and how to play the game. Lust. He could feel his body reacting to Laura. What a sleaze-ball he was.
But maybe…yeah, maybe, this wasn’t lust in its usual form. He and Laura were connecting in a place they had invented just for themselves, for these few hours stolen out of time.
They were caring, sharing, being there for each other in their loneliness, fulfilling needs. This heat thrumming low in his body might be…desire, an honest, more gentle wanting, something he’d never experienced before.
That made sense. Sure. There was a special quality to this interlude with Laura. It stood to reason that new and different emotions would rise to the fore. He was being transported somewhere he’d never been. So be it.
“Who are you, Laura?” he said, his voice slightly husky.
“I…” Laura started, then drew a much-needed breath. “I’m a very ordinary person. I grew up in Michigan in a loving family. I have an older sister, Linda, who is married. We’re very close, friends as well as sisters.
“I went to Michigan State and got degrees in business and public relations. For the past five years I’ve had a marvelous position as social secretary for the daughters of a prominent family.” She shrugged. “That’s it.”
“Why are you in Hope, Arizona, of all places?”
“I’m completing an assignment connected to my job. Tonight…well, I’m just not accustomed to having so many idle hours and I was restless, just couldn’t sit still for another second.”
“And you were lonely,” John said quietly.
Laura took a sip of her drink, then looked at John again.
“Yes,” she said, lifting her chin. “Since we agreed to be honest with each other, I’ll admit I was very lonely tonight. My life suddenly seemed empty, with no…no rainbow in my future.”
“Rainbow?” he said, raising his eyebrows. “What do you want to find at the end of that rainbow? The ever-famous pot of gold?”
“No.” Laura shook her head. “Happiness. A special man, my soul mate, to share my life, to have babies with. See? I told you I was a very ordinary person. Nothing fancy.”
“You’re not ordinary, Laura. You’re special. You’re honest, real, like a breath of fresh air.”
Man, John thought, where was this stuff coming from? He didn’t say junk like this to women, like some corny would-be poet or whatever. But he meant it. Laura was special, rare, and he was very glad she’d walked into Jake’s Saloon tonight.
“Thank you,” Laura said, smiling. “That’s a lovely thing to say.” Her smile faded. “Now it’s your turn, John. I’m here. I’m listening. Talk to me.”
Chapter Two
Laura watched John as he jerked his head around to stare at the band, then the bottle of beer in front of him, then at a point somewhere above her head.
He was getting cold feet, she thought, shrugging out of her jacket. John was warring with himself, deciding if he was actually going to keep his half of their agreement.
She could understand his hesitation. It would be very difficult for a man like John to reveal his innermost thoughts.
But he would do it, she just somehow knew that he would, because he was a man of his word.
She felt so connected to John, as though they really had known each other for many years. How strange all of this was. Yet it was wonderful, too.
Yes, John would talk to her, share with her, when he was ready. She would simply wait patiently…wait for John.
A silent minute ticked by. Then two. Three.
John cleared his throat and shifted his gaze slowly to meet Laura’s.
“I grew up in Hope,” he said quietly, “but I never felt as though I belonged here. I left as soon as I was old enough. That’s my fault, the sense of not fitting in, not my family’s. They’re
