Cold Ridge. Carla Neggers
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Their son was doing well, and she was off antidepressants.
Remember your priorities, she told herself.
She folded up the paper and called Manny on his cell phone, getting his voice mail. “Hi, it’s me. I heard about what happened. Sounds hideous. Call me when you can and let me know you’re all right.”
There. That was nice. She hadn’t yelled anything about being his wife and having a goddamned right to know. For all she knew, he could be in jail.
She doubted he’d call back. He’d given her six months to get her shit together. He’d stick it out with her until then. If she stayed on her current track, he was gone. That was five months ago, and she was doing better. Manny was the same. He was a bossy, stubborn SOB and refused to recognize his own stress reaction to the utterly crappy time they’d had of it lately, but Val couldn’t control what he did—she’d finally figured that one out after months in psychotherapy. Twenty years of sleeping with him hadn’t quite done it.
But Manny wasn’t responsible for the allergies and asthma that had come so close—so very close—to taking their son’s life. Neither was she, but that had taken more months of therapy to sort out, because she’d wanted someone to blame. Otherwise—why? What was the point of a thirteen-year-old boy almost dying from eating a damn peanut? Coughing and choking just trying to breathe?
She didn’t want her son having to struggle for the rest of his life with a chronic illness. She wanted her son to have a chance to be a PJ like his dad if that was what he chose.
She wanted the Manny Carrera she’d married back—smart, funny, sexy, self-aware.
And she wanted herself back, the tough Val, the Val who didn’t take shit from anyone.
But Manny was struggling, although he wouldn’t admit it, and she was struggling, and Eric would never be a PJ, his choices limited by asthma and allergies so severe he had to wear a Medic Alert bracelet and carry an inhaler and a dose of epinephrine wherever he went. He was on daily doses of four different medications. Even with the promise of new treatments and desensitization shots, he’d never be accepted into PJ indoc—it just wasn’t going to happen.
None of it was anyone’s fault. It just was.
And Eric was doing fine, with a long, good life ahead of him. He would say to her—“Mom, Dad could never be a ballet dancer or a calculus teacher. That’s okay, right? Then it’s okay that I can’t be a PJ.”
Val debated calling him at his prep school in Cold Ridge, but decided Manny should be the one to talk to their son about whatever had gone on in Boston. Whatever was still going on. It wasn’t easy having Eric away at school, but it was what he wanted—and, after weeks fighting it, she could see it was what he needed at least right now. Between a scholarship and scraping together what they had, she and Manny were managing the tuition. Just managing.
She’d been such a trooper through those early days of diagnosis and treatment. Supermom. She’d done it all. Manny’s work was demanding, his paycheck not optional. When Eric went into anaphylactic shock the first time, last spring, Manny’s paramedic skills had saved his life. But he wasn’t around for all the late-night asthma attacks, the trips to the emergency room, the ups and downs as Eric’s illness got sorted out and brought under control. Val quit her job as a bookstore manager and devoted herself one-hundred percent to restoring her son’s health.
But even when Eric was on his feet, she didn’t back off and return to her job at the bookstore near the base where Manny was stationed. She became a total nutcase, a control freak, suffocating Eric—suffocating herself. And Manny. He was caught in the cross fire.
Not that he’d done anything to help the situation. He was oblivious, content to let her handle all the details, the doctors, Eric’s volatile emotions—do it all, until it started affecting him.
Last fall in Cold Ridge hadn’t helped matters. Manny had put everything on the line to sneak around in the woods after Carine Winter was shot at, then traipsed after a couple of rich people in trouble—Val knew he was just doing what he did, but what about her? Why the hell couldn’t he be there for her?
That was when she’d started on antidepressants. Manny dug in, finally threatening to kick her butt out the door if she didn’t get her act together.
She smiled ruefully to herself and folded up the newspaper. Well, that was her version of events, anyway.
Manny would say he’d been at his wit’s end with her inability to rebound and had enough to cope with himself. He’d say he understood perfectly well that depression was an illness—that wasn’t what bugged him. He’d say he’d done the best he could. She supposed it was true—they’d all done their best. Anger, blame, fear and exhaustion weren’t a good mix. On a good day, sparks tended to fly between the two of them. They liked it that way—it worked for them. But they hadn’t had very many good days since their son had nearly died.
Now the ass had retired and moved her to Washington, D.C., so he could play around with rich guys like Sterling Rancourt, and what did he get for his trouble? A dead guy at his feet, the police on his case.
Val groaned to herself, heading to the bedroom to get dressed. “No wonder Eric wanted to go to school in New Hampshire. Get away from his parents.”
Ten minutes later, she was standing on the sidewalk in front of her building as Hank Callahan pulled up. She jumped into his pricey rented car and grinned at him. “What, no police escort? I expected something a little fancier now that you’re a senator.”
“Senator-elect,” he corrected. He was in a subdued gray suit with a pale blue tie, as handsome as ever. “Thanks for getting up early to join us. Antonia’ll meet us at the restaurant.”
“Are you sure you want to hire me, Major Callahan?”
He smiled. “Just Hank is fine, Val. When did you ever stand on ceremony?”
“Senators scare me even more than majors do. All that pomp and circumstance.”
“You’ve never been intimidated by anyone or anything.”
She tried to smile but couldn’t. “I should have been an astronaut like my mother wanted.” Both her parents had worked for NASA; they were retired now in Houston. “I got to pick what I wanted to be. I’m lucky that way. Hank—I don’t know. I’ve worked in bookstores for the last ten years. For most of the past year, I’ve been a nutcase.”
“I haven’t changed my mind. Neither has Antonia. The job’s still yours, if you want it.”
Joining the staff of a United States senator—Val loved the idea, although maybe not as much as having her own bookstore. “I didn’t vote for you. I’m not a Massachusetts resident. I didn’t even know the Callahans were a hot-shit Massachusetts family until your wedding last month.”
Hank pulled out onto the street, and two stoplights later, Val realized he wasn’t going to mention Manny’s situation. He was too polite. She’d have to do it. “Hank, you know about Carine and Manny, don’t you? What happened yesterday at the Rancourts’ house in Boston? And Antonia? She knows, right?”
He nodded but kept his gaze pinned on the road. “Antonia almost stayed in Boston last night. She stopped