hand out palm down and tipped it back and forth. “In and out.”
“Great. Isn’t there anything they can do for her?”
“We’ve got her on rivastigmine tartrate, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.”
Brenna’s heart ached with the mental loss of the only parent she had left. “I wish we had her back.”
Their mother had started showing signs of Alzheimer’s two years ago and her progression had been swift and painful to her family. Once an active woman who enjoyed volunteering at the hospital and the Salvation Army thrift shop, Marian Jensen had her driving privileges revoked and was forced to move in with Alice and her husband so they could make sure she didn’t wander out into the cold and die of exposure.
“She shows up on occasion, maybe she’ll be with us today.”
“Let’s hope.” With a deep breath, Brenna pushed her shoulders back and followed her sister down the hallway. “Are you sure you’re okay with this arrangement? We could look into a nursing home.”
“No way. Mom’s only sixty-eight and she gets around just fine. We need to save the money for a nursing home when I can’t help her anymore.”
“I feel bad this is all on your shoulders. Just let me know what I can do to help. Maybe I can watch Mom and the kids one weekend so you and Stan can take a trip or something.”
“That would be great.” Alice smiled. “I don’t know the last time Stan and I had time alone.”
“Of course it’ll be after we solve this case.”
“Oh, I hope it’s soon. It’s so scary knowing there’s a psycho loose in our town. This is Riverton, for God sakes, not Minneapolis or Chicago.”
Alice led the way into a well-lit room with a double bed on one side and a small couch positioned close to the window. Their mother sat on the couch, a colorful afghan draped across her lap and a crocheted shawl around her shoulders.
Brenna bent to press a kiss to her mother’s cheek. “Hi, Mom. It’s me, Brenna.”
Marian Jensen glared up at her. “I know who you are.”
Brenna suppressed a grimace and forced a smile for her mother. “I love you, Mom.”
“That’s more like it.” Her mother patted the couch cushion next to her. “Come sit by me.”
Brenna scrambled for something to say as she settled on the seat next to the woman who was becoming less her mother and more a stranger every day. “How’ve you been, Mom?”
“When are you going to get married, Brenna?” Ever since her mother had started showing signs of Alzheimer’s, she’d fixated on Brenna’s marital status. She’d forgotten so many things about her past, but it seemed she clung to the dream of seeing her daughter married as her last hold on reality.
“I don’t know, Mom.” Brenna squirmed in her seat, never comfortable talking about marriage or relationships.
Her mother patted her knee. “There are a lot of lonely men out there who can love you despite your scars. You’ve just set your standards too high.”
Alice rolled her eyes while Brenna braced for the lecture.
“That’s what’s the matter with you, Brenna. You can’t expect to have the perfect marriage, like your sister. You’re not perfect, God love you, and you know I love you, too. But the truth is, you’re damaged goods. You have to lower your expectations.”
As her mother went on and on, Brenna tuned out. If she didn’t, she’d go crazy. For the past two years, her mother had presented her with the same argument. Settle, Brenna. Don’t waste your life looking for perfection. Alice has it, but you’re not Alice.
As her mother droned on, Brenna’s jaw tightened until she felt as if she’d ground a quarter inch off her back teeth. When her head reached the explosion point, she stood. “I have to go.”
“You just got here.” The nagging woman disappeared leaving a lonely old lady who relied on her family for her care. Her mother, the woman who’d loved her unconditionally until her mind had begun to fade. “Stay awhile with me. You know how much I love having both my little girls with me.” She reached out to clutch her wrist, her grip surprisingly firm for a woman who might weigh all of ninety pounds dripping wet.
“I love you, Mom, but I have to go to work.” She leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”
“They feed me cooked carrots. You know I hate carrots.”
“I’ll see what I can do, Mom.” Brenna nodded toward her sister. “Alice, perhaps you and I can go discuss the menu?”
“Of course.” She tucked the crocheted blanket around her mother’s knees. “Mom, I’ll be back in just a minute.”
“Carrots.” The old woman snorted. “Rabbits eat carrots. I want steak and potatoes.”
Brenna stepped out into the hall. Leaning against the wall, she let the stress drain from her pores.
Alice followed, easing the door closed behind her. After the latch clicked gently in place, she reached out and pulled her sister into her arms. “Mom doesn’t know what she’s saying anymore, sweetie. Don’t let her words hurt you.”
“I don’t.” Yeah right. Then why couldn’t she catch her breath or swallow past the lump in her throat? She pressed her eyelids closed. Hell, she was the cop in the family. The one to carry on her father’s legacy. Cops don’t cry.
“Brenna?” Alice gripped her shoulders, forcing her to stare into her eyes. “You’re a beautiful woman and you don’t have to settle for anyone. The right man just hasn’t come along.”
As she stared into her sister’s face, an image of Nick Tarver superimposed over her mind. Nick, standing next to the whiteboard, his black hair a dramatic contrast, those green eyes so intense with dedication to the job at hand. Perfect in every way, except one. He was too perfect. Like her honey-blond-haired sister with flawless skin that showed no sign of wrinkles nor scars to mar the precision of her beauty. Her husband loved her, doted on her and had given her two beautiful little boys and a house in the right neighborhood.
Her mother treated Brenna to endless diatribes on how well Alice had married. Why can’t you be more like your sister? Alice—the all-American cheerleader, top of her class and homecoming queen her senior year.
Too often Brenna had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming, Because I’m not Alice. I don’t have a home, family and husband. And I don’t have a perfect body to attract a man.
Why she let it get to her, Brenna didn’t know. The trip from Bismarck had taken its toll. Exhausted and in need of a shower, she stepped away from her sister.
“Alice, it’s good to see you. Since I’m on assignment, I don’t know when I’ll get by to visit Stan and the boys. Will you say hi for me?”
“Sure.” Alice laid a hand on her arm. “You will be careful, won’t you?”
“Yes.”
