Finding Christmas. Gail Martin Gaymer
Чтение книги онлайн.
Читать онлайн книгу Finding Christmas - Gail Martin Gaymer страница 7
Nita’s eyebrows arched. “I like the inflection. I suppose she assumed we were talking about her.” Then she grinned. “I bet you did make a better impression during the interview.”
Joanne shrugged, already wanting to forget the conversation. “By the way, here’s the novel I said I’d loan you.” She opened her desk drawer and pulled out the book she’d brought from home. “It’s a good story, and a nice way to spend a quiet evening.”
Nita skimmed the novel cover for a minute, then lowered the book and studied Joanne’s face. “All joking aside, you look stressed. What happened? Did your friend have bad news?” She settled her hip against the edge of the desk and ran her finger along a picture frame propped beside Joanne’s telephone.
Joanne’s gaze rested on the photograph she’d taken of Greg and Mandy at the Detroit Zoo in front of the bear fountain. The sunlight played on Mandy’s blond halo of curls, and Joanne felt a tug on her heart at the memory.
“It’s a lot of things,” she said, “but nothing that Benjamin said.”
“Benjamin? He was your midnight visitor?” Nita sent her a perky smile.
“He left at nine.”
Nita chuckled. “I’m only teasing.”
Joanne drew in a long breath and tilted her head toward the frame. “Three years ago today the accident happened.”
Nita’s focus shifted to the photograph. She lifted it from the desk and studied the picture, then replaced it with sorrow in her eyes. “Oh, honey,” she said, leaning over to give Joanne a hug, “I’m sorry. Here I am pulling your leg, and you’re really upset.”
Joanne wanted to tell her that her upset was about more than the anniversary date, but she hesitated. “Don’t worry about it,” she said finally. “I’ve had other things on my mind, too.” Still, maybe Nita would understand. She looked into her friend’s serious face. “Do you believe in—” She paused trying to find a word that made sense. “In premonition?”
Nita looked puzzled. “You mean like a sixth sense?”
“Sort of.”
“Women’s intuition?”
“A little more than that.”
“A little more, how?” Nita rested her hands on the desk and leaned closer. “What’s going on?”
“Voices?”
The word caused Nita to draw back. She straightened, as if she thought Joanne had lost her mind.
Joanne wondered herself. “Not really voices. A feeling. It’s in here.” She pressed her hand against her heart.
“You’re hearing things?”
“I’m not crazy, Nita. The voice is like a child crying for help.”
Nita’s gaze didn’t waver.
“It’s Mandy’s voice.” Joanne heard Nita’s sudden intake of air.
“Mandy’s? Are you sure?”
“I’ll never forget my child’s cry. Never.”
“But she’s…”
“Dead, I know.” Joanne’s heart sank. “I don’t know what to make of it, but I’m hearing it. I keep asking myself what it means.”
“I have no idea what it means, but I think you should get back into counseling. I’m sure these things happen. Hopefully it’ll pass.”
Joanne shrugged, feeling defeated. “Maybe.” No one seemed to truly understand, not even Benjamin.
“Grief is a strange emotion,” Nita said. “It manifests itself in so many ways, and just when you think it’s conquered, it rises up again with a vengeance. You need to keep busy until the anniversary and the holidays pass. They’re difficult times of the year.”
“You’re right. After the accident, I lost the joy of Christmas…and my life.” Joanne tried to smile but her face felt frozen in a frown. “I need to get a new one.”
Nita chuckled. “Sounds like you gave it a start last night. You had one pleasant distraction over for a visit.”
“Don’t start that again. F-R-I-E-N-D. Put those letters together.” Joanne gave her a swat. “Get out of here. I have work to do.”
Nita edged her hip off the desk. “I came in here for a reason. Feel like Christmas shopping tonight?”
“Not tonight. Benjamin called a few minutes ago, and I invited him over tonight. How about next week?”
“Certainly,” Nita said with a grin. “I’d pass up shopping any day for that.”
Joanne realized she would, too. A sweet sensation wove through her chest. Having Benjamin around made her feel comfortable. He reminded her of the good days when things were normal. No voices. No deaths. Tonight she was eager to have some laughs. If Benjamin did nothing more than give her a few hours of peace, she’d be eternally grateful.
After Nita waved and left, Joanne tried to pull her focus back to her work, but lost the battle. Her child’s cries remained in her thoughts.
She angled her chair to face the computer screen and hit the e-mail button. A list of messages appeared. She saw one that made her smile and opened it.
Hi. Hope you slept well. It was so good to see you last night. Almost like old times. I’ll be in touch. I’m looking forward to it. I hope you are. Benjamin
The note warmed her heart, and she let her gaze linger on it for a moment before skimming the other addresses. Most of them were business e-mails but there was one she didn’t recognize—[email protected]. Curious, she hit the read button.
YOU THINK YOU HAVE EVERYTHING.
WELL YOU DON’T.
The capital letters shouted at her, and she peered at the words again, not understanding the meaning. A strange feeling came over her again.
What did the warning mean? She didn’t have everything. She’d lost everything she loved.
Chapter Three
Donna’s hands perspired as she fumbled through the old photographs she’d found in the manila envelope in the basement. She knew so little about Carl. She’d never realized it before. She sensed he had two lives, one he allowed her to see and one he kept hidden. She didn’t like either of them anymore.
“Mom.”
Her heart jumped when she heard Connie’s voice. “I’m down in the basement, sweetie. I’ll be up in a minute.” She glanced around the corner toward the staircase to make