on Zac, but this made her feel better.
‘Ooh, waffles, lovely.’ Jennie padded into the dining room and plonked herself down at the table, reaching for the pot of honey and liberally dousing her first waffle. ‘Why the treat? We normally only do this at weekends. Weekdays are toast and instant coffee. Not that I’m complaining, of course, far from it.’
‘I couldn’t sleep,’ Rachel said airily, smiling at Susan who had just appeared and whose response to the waffles was a carbon copy of Jennie’s. ‘So I thought I’d spoil us all.’
Both her friends were in their pyjamas and still-tousled haired without a scrap of make-up, and both looked gorgeous. Rachel sighed unconsciously.
‘What?’ Susan glanced at her. ‘What’s the matter?’
She thought about prevaricating and then said honestly, ‘I’d give my eye teeth to look like you two in the morning. Have either of you ever had blotchy morning skin or sticky-out hair or a spot that wasn’t there the night before?’
‘Loads of times.’ Susan grinned at her and reached for a waffle. ‘Sometimes I look like the wicked witch of the west.’
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
‘Anyway, it was you Zac was asking about last night,’ Susan continued casually, ‘in spite of Jennie doing her best to persuade him they were kissing cousins.’
Rachel’s heart stopped and then kick-started. She had to wait for a moment before she could control her voice enough to say, ‘Asking what exactly?’ in a faintly bored tone.
‘The normal things. These waffles are gorgeous, by the way.’
The normal things? What on earth were the normal things? ‘Like…?’ Rachel prompted carefully.
‘If there was a boyfriend around,’ Jennie put in. ‘Of course, he could just have been being friendly. We’d sort of filled him in about us.’
‘Yes, I think it took Jennie all of a few seconds to make the point I was seeing Henry and she was fancy-free,’ Susan said a touch acidly. ‘Along with how she’s just dying to see that new play at the Grecian theatre.’
Jennie grinned good-naturedly. ‘A girl has to do what a girl has to do, and you must admit he’s some sort of hunk. I don’t remember him being so drop-dead gorgeous when we were children.’
‘Probably because the last time you saw him you were a kid with pigtails and braces and more interested in horses than boys.’ Susan was petrified of horses and had been frankly incredulous when Jennie had told them one day she had ridden all the time as a child and had had her own pony called Primrose.
‘True.’ Jennie started on her third waffle. ‘But I’m very interested now and I haven’t given up on Zac yet. I mean, as family it’s my duty to show him around while he’s here and look after him.’ She tried an innocent smile that didn’t fool anyone.
Susan spluttered half her waffle onto her plate. ‘And we all know how you want to look after him,’ she said lewdly, rolling her eyes. ‘And cooking dinner for him is the tip of the iceberg.’
Jennie didn’t deny it. ‘I bet he’s great in bed,’ she said dreamily. ‘Sexy, experienced but considerate, you know?’
Rachel found she couldn’t sit and listen any longer. Abruptly, she said as she stood up, ‘I had a disaster at work yesterday and I need to be in early. I’m not at all sure I’ll still have a job soon, to be honest.’
‘Oh, no.’ Both girls were instantly all concern and comfort, and as she detailed what had happened they said the right things in the right places and were suitably scathing about the sales team. It helped how she was feeling. A bit.
As she left them, Rachel said offhandedly, ‘Is Zac having dinner with us again tonight?’ and hoped the jitters that had assailed her all morning since waking weren’t evident in her voice.
‘Nope, he’s busy.’ Jennie’s voice brightened as she added, ‘But I’ve got his number and I’ll try later for tomorrow. I might suggest treating him to dinner at Alfredo’s and then taking him to a nightspot. What do you think? Somewhere where the dance floor is small and cosy so we can get in the mood.’
‘I take it you mean a nightspot followed by his hotel room?’ Susan winked at Rachel, who had paused in the doorway.
‘Absolutely,’ Jennie agreed cheerfully. ‘Or just his hotel room.’
‘Jennie, you’re such an out-and-out tart.’
‘I know. Tarts have all the fun.’
Rachel left the other two amiably chaffing each other but she wasn’t smiling as she fetched her coat and handbag from her room. Jennie had never made any secret of the fact she slept with all her boyfriends and enjoyed sex, and although Susan was a little more choosy, she’d had a few partners too.
Here again she was the odd one out. She stared at her reflection in the long mirror on the bedroom wall. Jennie and Susan had thought it hilarious in their university days when she had said she was waiting for Mr Right before sleeping with a boy, but back then she had imagined he would come along before too long. And the truth of it was she had never met anyone who had made her pulse flutter and tempted her before Giles, so it hadn’t been too difficult to hang onto the dream. She’d had lots of boyfriends before him and had enjoyed kissing and cuddling and a bit of petting, but whenever they’d pressed for more she had known she would regret it the next morning. It was just the way she was made. She’d long ago come to terms with the fact that she was an oddity in her group of friends.
Rachel frowned at the brown-haired girl in the mirror. She wanted it to be special with the man she fell in love with, a forever thing, something that meant more than words could explain, but after Giles she was wondering if love as she saw it even existed. And she didn’t want to die an old maid.
What had kept her from sleeping with Giles? He’d certainly pestered her enough in the last couple of months before he had proposed, and she had imagined herself in love with him, hadn’t she? Her frown deepened. Hadn’t she?
Yes, she had thought she loved him but something hadn’t been quite…right. Even then some sixth sense must have been telling her he wasn’t what he seemed, that he had been projecting an image he’d thought she’d wanted him to be.
She shut her eyes tightly, biting on her lip. Jennie was right and she was wrong. She should have slept with every Tom, Dick and Harry and had fun; sex was just a pleasant pastime between a man and a woman and didn’t have to be an emotional forever thing. It didn’t have to lead to marriage and babies.
Her eyes opened. But it would need to for her. She simply couldn’t imagine opening her life and her body to a man and then cheerfully waving goodbye to him whenever the relationship ended. Jennie could. She couldn’t. End of story. She didn’t want to go through life alone but if she had to, she would. Loads of women concentrated on their career these days and chose autonomy and had rich and fulfilling lives. She just hadn’t imagined that was the way her life would go when she had been younger.
She took a deep breath. She could hear Jennie singing a pop song in the bathroom and smiled wryly to herself. The world did indeed ‘rain down men’ on Jennie; no sooner had her friend disposed of one man than another took
