coffee was so strong you could stand a spoon up in it. And coffee did seem to make bad news digest better, though chocolate was better, of course. But this morning wasn’t a good time for chocolate. It wasn’t a good time for conversation, either. But like Leo said, now was as good a time as any. Francie couldn’t run from the truth indefinitely. She’d already tried that these past two weeks.
“Ma, I never wanted to hurt you or Dad. But you keep harping on me to get married and have babies, and I’m just not ready to take that step.” Not that she’d ever be ready, but there was no sense in dashing all of Josephine’s hopes in one fell swoop.
“What do you mean, you’re not ready? You’re twenty-nine, Francesca, practically an old maid.”
Francie did her best not to wince.
“Your aunts talk behind my back about how you’re never going to have a husband and children. And your sister is no better. She doesn’t even date nice men. Soon they’ll be saying that both of my daughters are lesbians.” Josephine crossed herself again, on the off chance that it might be true.
Her mother tolerated Leo, but Francie didn’t think for a minute that tolerance would extend to any of her children or family members should they choose an alternative lifestyle.
Francie was a tried and true—not to mention, proven—heterosexual woman, but she thought there was a lot to be said for the lesbian lifestyle.
First, if you were lucky enough to find another woman who wore the same size, you could expand your wardrobe. That couldn’t happen with a man, unless you were built like a fullback. A woman didn’t care about another woman’s lack of makeup or weight gain. And they had oodles more experience when it came to knowing what women wanted in the sex department.
Some of the men Francie had dated hadn’t known which end was up and could have benefited from a sex education class. Lesson One: Orgasms We Have Known and Loved.
“My heart is breaking from this, Francesca. I want to see you married and settled before I die. Is this too much to ask? I’m not getting any younger and neither are you.”
“Before I die” was one of Josephine’s favorite expressions. It was conjured up whenever guilt was needed to make her children toe the line. No matter that she was as healthy as the proverbial horse, in Josephine’s mind death was imminent if she didn’t get her way.
“Stop it, Ma! You’re not going to die.” In the immortal words of Billy Joel, “Only the good die young.” Francie left that unsaid, however. Her mother had never been a Billy Joel fan, preferring Placido Domingo instead.
“You can’t keep trying to run—” make that, ruin “—my life. Yes, I’m twenty-nine years old. But I’m very happy being single. I don’t need a man to complete me, and I’m not a lesbian.”
Josephine seemed inordinately relieved by that admission.
“Someday maybe I’ll meet someone.” Mark Fielding’s face flashed before her eyes, but Francie blinked it away, wondering why she suddenly thought of the handsome photographer, a man she hardly knew—a man who set her toes to tingling.
Sipping her coffee, she wished fervently for chocolate and issued a cease and desist order for her toes to stop misbehaving.
“But I’m not ready now. There are things I want to do with my life—travel, meet interesting people—” men who worked for the Associated Press were definitely interesting “—achieve success in my career. I’m just not ready to settle down.”
Eyes raised heavenward, Josephine clenched her hands and shook them. “All meaningless things. Without a husband and children, a woman’s life is nothing. Why would you want to work when you can find a good man to take care of you? You women of today don’t make any sense at all.”
“These are different times, Ma. Women don’t need to be married to feel fulfilled. You’re happy doing for Dad, and that’s great. But it’s not what I want.
“Didn’t you ever just want things for yourself, without thinking about how it would affect other people? I know it sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but so what? Since when did it become a crime to want independence? It’s what this country was founded on.”
Josephine stirred more sugar into her cup. The spoon hit the sides, clanking and clanking as she formed her answer. “I would not have done anything to disappoint my mother and father. It was expected that I marry, and I did. In my day children were dutiful.”
In your day women were orgasm-less.
“But what about falling head over heels in love?”
Looking somewhat insulted, her mother sat back in her chair, her mouth opening and closing like a floundering fish. “I love your father. Don’t talk crazy. You young people have too many romantic notions in your head. You watch movies, read those romance books, and you think that is what real life is supposed to be. But it’s not.
“Real life, a good life, is taking care of others, making sure your husband has clean underwear in his drawer and hot food on the table when he gets home tired from work. It’s taking pride in your children’s accomplishments, like when you made your first communion, or when Jackie pitched the no-hitter in Little League, remember?”
Francie did, and she smiled at the memory of how thrilled her parents were for her little brother. Her mother celebrated the event with a cake and a party for all of Jackie’s friends. “You’re the best, Ma. We kids couldn’t have asked for a better, more caring mother. But you shouldn’t expect any of us to lead the same life as you. That’s not fair.”
Josephine grunted her disapproval. “What’s fair—growing old alone?”
“I’ve tried to be the daughter you want. I’ve gone along with these weddings, to make you happy. But it’s making me very unhappy. Not to mention the poor grooms in question. I’m sure Matt Carson will never speak to me again. And I truly liked Matt, as a friend.”
“His mother said there were no hard feelings. She’s a lovely woman, that Mrs. Fielding. She would have made you a good mother-in-law.”
A good mother-in-law! Now there was an oxymoron if ever she heard one.
“I agree. Laura is a lovely woman, and a very gracious one to have said that. I know the Fieldings spent a lot of money on the reception and I feel terrible about it. And that’s just what I’m talking about. These weddings have hurt a lot of people, including you and Dad. Your savings account has got to be suffering. And you need that money for your retirement. Dad can’t sell appliances forever.”
In fact, her dad had been talking retirement for the past two years, but had never gotten around to it. She wondered now if it was because he couldn’t afford to.
Francie’s guilt multiplied.
“I have money put aside for such things, Francie, you know that. And I will make you another wedding when you come to your senses. An even nicer one. We’ll pick out a new dress, make our own arrangements for the reception, hire a better caterer…”
Francie knew that her mother hadn’t heard a word she’d said, and probably never would. It was useless arguing with the headstrong woman. But she could be just as stubborn as Josephine, now that her mind was made up to remain
