me that you are kidding.”
Laney shook her head. “Sorry, hon.”
“They fired me?”
“No, no. You got laid off. Major difference.”
“How so?”
“They gave you nine months’ severance pay.”
My mouth snapped shut for a moment. I didn’t know what to think about that. On one hand, I’d worked my ass off at that place, praying that it would pay off one day, that I’d be a partner eventually. To have that all washed down the toilet was maddening. But on the flip side, I’d been bordering on miserable there for the last few years, and I’d always secretly wanted to be one of those people who got axed with a golden parachute.
Then the effect of what Laney was saying hit me. “Are you telling me that I got laid off on my thirtieth birthday?”
“’Fraid so, sweetie.”
“And Ben broke up with me?”
“Pretty much.”
A few seconds went by. The hula girl’s hips swirled and swayed as Laney turned a corner. “That,” I said finally, “has got to be the worst goddamned birthday on the planet.”
The car was quiet for a minute, but pretty soon, a short, reluctant chuckle came out of my mouth. “It would almost be funny if it wasn’t so sad,” I said.
“Right. Under different circumstances.”
Another half chuckle, a sort of shocked cough, escaped me, and Laney followed with one of her own. And then I couldn’t help it—I did it again. A few seconds later we were both giggling, slowly and stupidly at first, until the sound caught a rhythm that rolled and grew louder, and soon our laughter filled the car. It felt like the first time I’d laughed in forever.
I was wiping my eyes, trying to get myself under control, when I noticed that Laney had stopped in a circular drive of one of the Lake Shore Drive high-rises near Addison.
“What’s going on?” I said. “What are we doing here?”
Laney pursed her mouth and gave a quick whistle, the way she did when she was nervous. “You don’t remember this, either?”
I glanced out the window at the building—tall, made of huge gray blocks, a plate-glass window in front of a large marble lobby. As far as I knew I’d never been in the place.
I looked back at Laney. “What’s to remember?”
“You live here.”
3
I walked into the lobby and took in the details, hoping for something that would trigger my memory, some plant or chair or something that said, Yes, I live in this building. But the gray marble floor seemed as unfamiliar as the front desk and the man sitting behind it, so when he stood and said, “Afternoon, Miss McGraw,” I almost choked.
Laney put her hand on my arm and steered me to the left. “How are you, Mike?” she called over her shoulder as we walked.
“Fine, Laney. Have a good one.”
“How does he know me?” I whispered.
“I told you,” Laney said, keeping her voice low, “you live here.”
“Then how does he know you?”
“Because I’m a fabulous friend, and since you won’t go out anymore, I visit you all the time. I know that guy better than you do.”
We’d reached the end of the marble hallway. Laney turned me to the right and walked me through double doors into a sitting room. At the end of the room was a set of elevators, where Laney was directing us.
“What do you mean, I won’t go out?” I said.
Laney made that nervous whistle again. “Well, aside from your frequent trips to Ben’s place, you rarely leave the house, so I bring you food, and we hang out and talk.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and tried to conjure an image of an apartment, Laney and I sitting on a couch talking, maybe giggling, but my mind was a blank.
“What do we talk about?”
We’d reached the elevators. Laney hit the button for the twelfth floor. “You know—Dee, your mom, Bartley Brothers. We talked about Ben a lot, of course. You kept saying that now that he’d broken up with you, you were never going to have your first kid before you were thirty-five. And you talked about how much you loved your town house.”
“I did love that place. So why did I sell it?”
“That’s what I’ve been asking you. You made a chunk of cash on it, but you weren’t really hurting for money. You just kept saying that if you weren’t going to live there with Ben, you weren’t going to live there at all.”
I scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
Laney stared at me for a second. “Exactly. You really don’t remember any of this, do you?”
I shook my head. “So what about you?” I said. “What’s been going on with you? I can’t remember that, either.”
“Well, we haven’t talked about that much.”
“Why?” And then I realized. “Oh, I’m such a horrible friend! I’m so sorry. You’ve been coming over here, listening to my woes, and we haven’t spent any time on you, is that it?”
Laney shrugged. “You needed me.”
“Well, of course, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Sure it is. Seriously, it was nice to be needed. It’s no big deal that we didn’t talk about me that much.”
“It is a big deal.” I followed her out of the elevator. “I’m really sorry.”
“You’d do the same for me.”
“Still—”
Laney put her hand on my shoulder and stared into my eyes. “You’ve been bad, Kell. I mean really, really depressed. It’s been a little scary, if you want to know the truth.”
Just those words felt scary to me. Generally, I can handle the crap that life dishes out. I’d seen my mom go through a million brief relationships and fall apart with each one, so I’d found my own way to hold it together. Even after Dee died, when I was the saddest and angriest I’d been in my whole life, I was still able to work, to go out with Laney for margaritas and talk about it. I was able to keep going.
Laney gave me a reassuring smile. “Do you have your key?”
I stuck my hands in my pockets and pulled out a few bills, a lip balm and a small key ring. Hanging from the ring were three keys, along with the little sombrero key chain that I got during a trip to Tijuana, and the silver pendant with the Bartley Brothers
