out of line.”
Brad had his eye on the headmastership of a more prestigious private school on the other side of Sydney. Relatively young, at thirty-eight, full of drive and energy, a charismatic leader to both pupils and parents, he had a better than even chance of winning the position when it fell vacant at the end of next year.
“There’s nothing wrong with ambition, Joanna.”
The terse note in her mother’s voice drew her gaze. Their eyes clashed for one unguarded moment, and Joanna knew her mother was thinking of Rory and his grievous lack of what Fay Harding recognised as proper ambition. It was her dogmatic opinion that trying out new ideas had no solid substance and could only be regarded as suspicious business.
Joanna neutralised the dangerous ground with a bland reply. “I didn’t say there was anything wrong with ambition, Mum.”
End of argument, if it could be called an argument. For the sake of peace between them, Rory’s name was never spoken. Joanna had made that rule when she had come back home.
Her widowed mother had needed help at the time. Her recovery after an operation on a faulty heart valve was slow, and her more favoured daughter, Jessica, had had her hands full with a new baby. Since Joanna had parted from Rory, it was easier for her to step in, easy to stay, even after her mother had regained her full strength and was perfectly capable of coping alone.
Moving to a place of her own would have required thought and effort, and Joanna couldn’t summon the interest to bother. Nothing seemed to matter after her break-up with Rory. Apart from which, her mother’s home in Burwood was convenient to the school in Strathfield where Joanna taught.
It was easier to live from day to day in a relatively undemanding routine, easy to sink into an emotional limbo where not even her mother’s narrow attitudes irritated her. On a superficial level they were company for each other. Besides, after the seven-year rift caused by her marriage to Rory, the reconciliation with her mother was comforting, taking the edge off her loneliness.
It was Brad who had lifted her out of the passivity she had fallen into, giving her a more active interest in life. A positive focus. He was good for her. Good to her, as well. They shared the day-to-day happenings at the school, played tennis at weekends, went to concerts and plays together.
He might not be a madly exciting lover, but Brad was offering her the problem-free security she had never had in her first marriage. This looking back to what she had once shared with Rory was stupid, yet she had been doing it continually ever since Brad had left for the conference.
It had to stop.
Her mother rose from the table and took her breakfast things to the sink.
“I’ll do the washing up after I’ve eaten, Mum,” Joanna quickly offered. “It’ll give you a few more minutes with Jessica before she leaves for tennis,” she added with a persuasive smile.
Her mother returned a fond look, not really for Joanna. It was more in thought of her other daughter, who was the light of her life. Jessica had done everything right, especially marrying a dentist who was a professional man. He was also a pillar of rectitude in providing a good home for his wife and being a splendid husband and father.
“I really enjoy my day with the children,” her mother said.
And why not? Joanna thought with dry irony. She had two beautiful granddaughters to spoil while Jessica played tennis, and the little girls were already moulded into the kind of little girls their grandmother approved of. Joanna idly wondered how well her mother would handle a rambunctious little boy.
“Give them my love,” she said, encouraging her mother to be on her way.
She was already dressed to go in a smart forest-green pant-suit. Her pearl brooch was precisely positioned at the throat of her beige blouse, pearl earrings in her lobes. There was not a hair out of place in the short white waves that framed her face. Apart from lipstick, which she would undoubtedly apply at the hall mirror near the front door, her make-up was perfectly in place. Fay Harding judged others on appearance, and never would she drop her own standards, not even to mind children.
How she had hated Rory in his scruffy university clothes! And the unshaven stubble that he hadn’t bothered about before calling by to see Joanna!
“Have a nice day, dear.”
“I will, Mum,” Joanna replied with no inner conviction whatsoever.
As she waited to hear the front door closing behind her mother, Joanna considered various plans of action. The telephone directory would give her the information she needed, but if she called Rory, he would undoubtedly take savage satisfaction in reminding her of her last words to him, that they had nothing more to say to each other.
He would hang up on her with the same relentless decisiveness she had displayed in showing him to the door out of her life after their last bitter showdown before the divorce went through.
Besides, she did not want to talk to him. Seeing him would serve her purpose, and the more impersonally she could achieve that, the better. The best place would definitely be in his office. Surely she could work out some way to finagle a few private minutes with him. She mentally practised some lines to justify such a visit.
No grudges, Rory. I’m getting married again. I hope you’ll find someone you can be happy with, too.
The decisive door click of her mother’s departure spurred Joanna into action. She looked up the market research listings in the telephone directory and had no difficulty in finding the company she was looking for. She circled the number, noted down the new business address in Chatswood and paused to wonder if that was an up-market or down-market move from Rory’s last premises in North Sydney. Had his business grown or slumped since the divorce?
With an impatient shake of the head, Joanna dismissed this irrelevant speculation. She was not interested in what had happened to Rory. Or why. She simply wanted to see him one more time. That was all. The question she needed answered was whether or not he was at his office today.
Having thought her way around the problem for several minutes, Joanna dialled the number, intent on playing whatever response she got by ear.
“Grayson and Associates,” a woman’s voice piped cheerfully. “How can I help you?”
“Is Mr. Grayson in today?” Joanna asked.
“Who’s calling, please?”
That put Joanna on the spot. Giving her name would almost certainly defeat her purpose. A wild invention leapt into her mind.
“I’m calling for Mr. Kawowski of Matchmakers Incorporated,” she rattled out, wondering if it was some kind of Freudian slip to think of a fabricated dating service as a means to get to Rory. “He wants to know if Mr. Grayson would be free to see him later this morning.”
“Mr. Grayson is in a meeting right now. Can I ring back to confirm?”
“Would you hold on a moment?” Joanna counted to ten then said, “Sorry. Mr. Kawowski has decided to use another company. Thank you for your time.”
She put down the receiver and heaved a sigh of relief. Mission accomplished. No more shillyshallying over the past or the future. Her course of action was decided.
