What was there to say? Mary would’ve been a wonderful mother, and Alex was sorry she’d never had the chance. All she’d ever wanted in life was to have kids and create a happy home. So when she’d learned that she wasn’t able to get pregnant, she’d been devastated by the news. But she’d rallied by researching all the options available to her, and before long, she’d become obsessed with having a baby—their baby.
Alex had wanted to start a family, too, and had suggested they consider adoption. But Mary had refused to even think about it until they’d exhausted all their chances of having their own biological child.
He’d finally agreed, and after the second implantation had been successful, resulting in a positive pregnancy test, he’d been as excited as Mary to think that they’d finally have a little one around the house. A baby. Imagine that.
But they hadn’t even had time to think about decorating and stocking a nursery when Mary had the accident.
The afternoon Alex had received the call from the sheriff’s office, telling him that his wife had been critically injured and wasn’t expected to live, he’d raced to the Brighton Valley Medical Center E.R., just in time to have a few last words with her. Important words.
She’d known that the baby she carried at the time wouldn’t make it. But Alex still had the other embryos. And Mary had begged him to make sure they had a chance to live.
“How did your wife die?” Dr. Ramirez asked, drawing him from his somber musing.
“In a car accident.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Yeah.” Alex cleared his throat. “Me, too.”
He’d grieved Mary’s death, of course, but he blamed himself for it, too. She’d asked him to pick up a list of groceries while he’d been in town, but he’d gotten so caught up talking to a couple of friends at the feed store that the errand she’d asked him to run had completely slipped his mind, and he’d gone home before a predicted summer rain hit.
Now I’ll just have to go get them myself, Mary had told him.
And Alex had let her go out to her car that rainy day—a decision he’d felt sorry about the moment he’d realized how dark and ugly the sky had turned, a regret he’d have until his own dying day.
Why hadn’t he made a note for himself? Why hadn’t he picked up the items she’d needed before stopping to talk to Dan Walker and Ray Mendez?
Now Mary was gone, leaving him with the last two embryos to think about, to protect and nurture.
No, he told himself. Not embryos. Babies. His and Mary’s babies.
But he didn’t want to open old wounds any more than he already had this evening. So after he finished off the last of his coffee, he said, “Thank you for talking to me, Doctor.”
“Please,” she said. “Call me Selena.”
Selena. It was a pretty name, and one that fit her, if you left “Doctor” out of the equation.
“All right, Selena.” Her name rolled right off the tip of his tongue as if it was the easiest word in the world to say. And as he came to that realization, a smile formed from somewhere deep inside of him.
Were they becoming friends? If so, he was okay with it.
Was she?
* * *
Selena wasn’t sure why she’d suggested that Mr. Connor—or rather, Alex—call her by her first name. Maybe it was because they’d somehow bonded over the time it took to drink a cup of coffee.
Or maybe they were kindred spirits because his plight was similar to her own. He couldn’t have his wife’s babies without the help of someone willing to carry them. And Selena couldn’t have a child unless a birth mother was willing to give up a baby she couldn’t keep or didn’t want to raise.
Eighteen months ago, following a routine exam, Selena had learned that she’d never be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. The news had been heartbreaking for a woman who’d always dreamed of being a mother.
She’d hoped that with time, she would adjust to the reality and deal with it, but knowing that she’d never be able to experience the miracle of conception or go through the birth process had really begun to niggle at her lately.
Okay, she admitted. It was way more than a niggle. She’d been so dismayed, so crushed by the situation that doing her job had become more and more difficult with each passing day. Every time she thought of the miracle of conception, heard the cries of a newborn or spotted the happy tears of a new mommy holding her baby for the very first time, her disappointment grew.
At one time, she’d thought she had the perfect career. She loved delivering babies. But ever since the surgery and learning that she’d never be able to experience the miracle of childbirth herself, she’d found it getting tougher to go to the office each day.
But she shook off the melancholic thought, picked up her empty, heat-resistant paper cup and got to her feet. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“You’re more than welcome.” Alex pushed back his seat and stood. “Thank you for agreeing to teach the class. You’re providing a great service to people who are struggling with fertility issues.”
She probably ought to respond and say something about being happy to offer those couples various options, but the truth was, she’d been seriously considering a career change of some kind and had almost refused to give the lecture series at all.
“Can I walk you to your car?” he asked.
For a moment, she wondered if his interest in her had been more romantic in nature than merely polite and appreciative, but she dismissed that thought as quickly as it had come to her. Alex Connor had loved his wife so much that he was determined to bring their children into the world and raise them without her.
She glanced at the handsome cowboy beside her, deciding that his offer had been a gallant gesture. “Thanks, but I’m parked in a safe place.”
“All right.” He lobbed another smile her way, sending her heart on a scavenger hunt for miracles that didn’t exist.
“Good night, Selena.”
She clung to the sound of her name on his lips, to the sincerity in those green eyes. But she cleared her voice and took a step back. “Good night, Alex.”
“I’ll see you next week.”
Yes, she supposed he would. As she turned and strode toward the exit, she couldn’t help thinking that Alex Connor was an attractive and appealing man. But she’d never dated the cowboy types—and didn’t plan to in the future.
Yet even more than that, he was still devoted to his late-wife’s memory. So Selena would do her best to shake any inappropriate thoughts about him.
She knew how it felt to fall for a man who’d never gotten over his first true love. And she knew just how painful a broken heart could be.
As
