with your father at dinner.” The light turned green and Kelsey pressed down on the gas pedal. There was just the slightest shift in her mother’s voice as she asked, “What else would I do?”
How in heaven’s name do you ask your mother if she was considering an alternative to giving birth? For one of the few times in her life, Kelsey felt tongue-tied. Taking a breath, she forced herself to forge ahead.
The words came out haltingly. “Well, I thought maybe, because you’re not twenty-four anymore…”
Reading between the lines, Kate took pity on her. “I know how old I am, Kelsey. And the doctor says I’m definitely healthy enough to go the distance.”
Yes, her mother was healthy and energetic and all those good things. But having a baby was a life-altering decision. Her mother had to know that. “What about after the distance? This doesn’t just end with delivery.”
Kate made no attempt to hide her amusement. “Are you under the impression that you’re telling me something I don’t know, Kelsey? I don’t have that short a memory, sweetheart.”
Kelsey hadn’t meant to sound insulting. Because her mother was with her, she slowed down rather than raced through a yellow light. “No, of course not, it’s just that—that I’m worried.”
Kate patted her hand just as the light turned green again. “Don’t be. This baby thing threw me for a loop, too, but I’m already getting used to it. It’ll mean changes, but it’ll also mean that I get to hear a sweet little voice say ‘Mama’ again.”
“I can call you Mama again if you want,” Kelsey volunteered as she took the on-ramp to the northbound freeway. “What about the diapers and the sleepless nights and the cost?”
In Kate’s mind, the reward was a great deal more than the sacrifice. “What about the love?” she countered.
Kelsey spared her mother a quizzical glance. “Five of us loving you—not counting Dad—isn’t enough?”
Her mother’s laugh was warm, reassuring, as if she sensed the ambivalent feelings Kelsey was going through.
“There’s always room for more, Kelsey. Always room for more. A mother’s love is infinite. It’s not a pie with only so much to go around so that if you slice it seven ways instead of six, there’ll be less for everyone.” Kate shifted in her seat for a better view of her daughter. “I’ll still love everyone the same way, Kelsey. There’ll just be one more at the table, that’s all.”
She was grateful to her mother for not saying that this was ultimately not her business to meddle in. But then, both her parents had made all of them feel that they were a unit, not parents and children or worse, individual strangers. In her family’s case, although individuality was encouraged, at bottom it was a case of one for all, all for one.
And she needed to get behind this newest phase, Kelsey told herself sternly.
There was sympathy in Kelsey’s voice as she asked, “Then you’re okay with this, Mom? With being pregnant, I mean?”
“I am wonderful with this,” her mother assured her. Her eyes danced as she said, “Children keep you young.”
For the first time since she’d rushed out of the school, Kelsey laughed. “I thought you said that children give you gray hair.”
“That, too,” Kate acknowledged. “But gray hair happens at any age. I had an aunt who started going gray at twenty-five. And the dividends are so wonderful. Look at you,” she added to make her point.
“You’re not afraid?” Kelsey asked, thinking of how she would have reacted if she were in her mother’s shoes.
Kate let out a long breath. A great many emotions shifted through her. Joy was foremost, but other emotions, as well. “I’m terrified.”
“Terrified?” Kelsey looked at her, then back at the road. How could her mother be happy and terrified at the same time? “You certainly don’t act it.”
Kate was nothing if not honest. It was the cornerstone of her relationship with everyone in her family. That and love.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not. The prospect of bringing a new life into the world is always terrifying. Will he or she be healthy? Will I do a good job raising him or her—”
Kelsey stopped her. “Seriously?” she asked incredulously.
“Seriously,” Kate responded.
How could her mother possibly even spend half a second wondering? “Mom, you’ve got to be the world’s greatest mother. You know that.”
“What I might know and what the baby thinks are two very different things.” Kate closed her eyes, momentarily slipping back into the past. “Remember when you packed up your storybooks and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, determined to run away from home because you were so angry at me?”
Kelsey had forgotten all about that until just now. The memory evoked a nostalgic laugh.
“I remember,” she said with feeling. “You took Trevor’s side against mine.” She recalled how hurt she’d felt. Running away had been her only way to retaliate. She was convinced her mother would come searching for her, tears streaming down her face. After a sufficient amount of time, she would have forgiven her mother’s transgression and returned.
God, had she ever been that young? Kelsey wondered.
“I mediated, I didn’t take sides,” Kate corrected. “And you were a little bully,” she added with great affection. “You kept hitting him because you knew he wouldn’t hit you back.”
Kelsey shook her head. If anyone should have run away from home, it was her mother. “How did you put up with all that?”
The answer was simple. “Love makes everything easier to deal with.”
“I guess,” Kelsey murmured.
She’d never had that in her own life. Oh, she loved her parents and her brothers dearly, and she was even getting there with her new sisters-in-law. But as far as eventually having her own life partner, someone who would be there at her side until the end of time, Kelsey sincerely doubted that would ever happen.
At the moment, she was still working on trying to be okay with that scenario. So far she wasn’t having all that much luck. But eventually, she’d get used to it, she promised herself.
Kate took a deep breath as Kelsey pulled the car up into the driveway. In a way, she was mentally bracing herself for what lay ahead. She turned to her daughter. “I’m counting on you to be there for me when I tell your father about the baby, you know.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Kelsey assured her, turning off the ignition. “I’ll bring the smelling salts.” She saw her mother looking at her, arching one very expressive eyebrow. “You’ve got to admit this is going to hit him like a bombshell.”
“Not a bombshell,” Kate protested, softening the description. “Maybe a little like getting caught in an unexpected summer downpour.”
“If
