She gave a bitter little laugh, unable to hide how hurt she felt at the suggestion. ‘I have nothing to hide but Tim’s told you what happened, and you obviously believe him, so what more is there to say? Why should I try to justify myself to you?’
‘Because I thought we were friends.’ He held out his hands, palms up, in a gesture of supplication that she found incredibly moving for some reason. ‘I can tell that you’re hurting and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you then that’s all I want.’
He paused. Bella had a feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind and she bit her lip because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it either. She steeled herself when he continued.
‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you, Bella. It’s as simple as that.’
MAC HELD HIS BREATH, hoping against hope that Bella would believe him. It was the truth, after all—he did care. He cared that she was hurting, cared that she had behaved so out of character. The Bella he knew would never have broken her marriage vows unless there had been a very good reason to do so.
‘Maybe you mean what you say, Mac, but it makes no difference.’ Bella’s icy tones sliced through the thoughts whizzing around his head and he flinched.
‘I do mean it,’ he said shortly, annoyed with himself. What possible reason could there be to excuse the way she had treated Tim? Tim had needed her, desperately, and she had failed him. There was no excuse whatsoever for that kind of behaviour, surely? And yet the niggling little doubt refused to go away.
‘Fine.’
She inclined her head but Mac could tell that she didn’t believe him and it stung to know that she doubted his word. Couldn’t she see that he was telling her the truth? Didn’t she know that he wouldn’t lie about something so important? It was on the tip of his tongue to remonstrate with her when it struck him that he was doing the very same thing. He was doubting her, blaming her for the demise of her marriage. What right did he have to take her to task when he was equally guilty?
The thought kept him silent and she obviously took it as a sign that he had given up. She went to her car, zapping the locks and getting in. Mac stayed where he was until the sound of the engine roused him. He had no idea what he was going to do but he had to do something. Maybe Bella was at fault, but he couldn’t just ignore the pain he had seen in her eyes. Flinging open the passenger door, he climbed into her car, holding up his hand when she rounded on him.
‘I know what you’re going to say, Bella. You don’t want to talk about your marriage. I also know that I’m probably poking my nose in where it’s not wanted …’
‘You are,’ she snapped, glaring at him.
‘OK. Fair enough. And I’m sorry. But, leaving all that aside, I meant what I said. I really do care that you’re upset.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand, hurriedly releasing it when he felt the now familiar surge of electricity scorch along his nerves. He didn’t want to scare her, certainly didn’t want her to think that he was trying to take advantage of her vulnerability by making a play for her!
Heat rose under his skin, a hot tide of embarrassment that was so unfamiliar that it would have brought him to his knees if he hadn’t been sitting down. Making a play for Bella had never been on the cards. From the moment they had met, Mac had known that she was beyond his reach and he had been perfectly happy with that state of affairs too. Although he had earned himself a bit of a reputation at university by dating a lot of women, he’d had no intention of settling down. He had been determined not to get involved with anyone, although he had been genuinely pleased when Bella and Tim had started seeing one another. They had been so well suited, their backgrounds so perfectly in tune that he couldn’t have found a better match for either of them.
It had been the same when they had announced their engagement some months later; he had been truly thrilled for them both and absolutely delighted when Tim had asked him to be his best man. It was only at the wedding that he had started to feel a little bit odd. Listening to Bella swearing to love, honour and care for Tim for the rest of her days had, surprisingly, made Mac feel as though he was about to lose something unutterably precious …
He drove the thought from his head. It was too late for it now; far too late to wish that he had said something, done something, stopped the wedding. How could he have jumped up in the middle of the ceremony and declared that he didn’t want Bella to marry Tim because he wanted her for himself? No, he had done the right thing—sat there and played his part to the best of his ability. And if there’d been an ache in his heart, well, he had accepted that he would have to learn to live with it.
That was why he had decided to sign on with Worlds Together, a leading overseas aid agency, after the wedding. He had been on over half a dozen missions to date and although he knew that he had helped a lot of people during that time, he had gained a lot too. He’d had three years to rationalise his feelings, three years to make sure they were safely under wraps. Why, if anyone had asked him a couple of weeks ago how he felt then he would have confidently told them that he was back on track. But not now. Not now that Bella was no longer Tim’s wife. Not now that she was available.
Mac swallowed his groan. Maybe he did want to help Bella but it could turn out that he was creating a lot of problems for himself by doing so.
Bella had no idea what was going on but the tension in the car was making her feel sick. She licked her parched lips, trying to think of something to say, but what exactly? If she ordered Mac to get out of the car, would he do so? Or would he ignore her and stay where he was? It was the not knowing that was the scariest thing of all because it denoted a massive shift in his attitude.
Mac’s behaviour towards her had always been impeccable in the past. He had treated her with an old-fashioned courtesy that she had found strangely endearing. Few men in the circles she had frequented had been so polite. The old ‘Hooray Henry’ syndrome had been very much alive, so that Mac’s thoughtfulness and maturity had set him apart. That was why she had enjoyed spending time with him, she realised in surprise. He hadn’t needed to shout or tell risqué stories to make himself stand out. Whenever Mac was around, people always knew he was there.
The thought stunned her. She had never realised before just how much Mac had impressed her. He had been an unknown quantity in so many ways, his background so different from hers that she had been afraid of saying something stupid that would betray her ignorance. Now, after working in the NHS for the past ten years, she had a much better idea of the world. She had treated many people from backgrounds similar to Mac’s and understood the hardships they faced. That Mac must have had to overcome all sorts of obstacles to qualify as a doctor merely highlighted his strength of character, his determination, his commitment. Few men could have taken on such a challenge and won.
Bella’s head whirled as thoughts that she had never entertained before rushed through it. Added to the strain she’d been under since the breakdown of her marriage, it made her feel very shaky. Leaning forward, she rested her throbbing forehead on the steering wheel.
‘Are you all right? Bella, what’s wrong? Answer me!’
The concern in Mac’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes. Although her parents had expressed polite sympathy when she had told them about the divorce, they hadn’t really cared about the effect it had had on her.
