was looking at a stranger. A naked stranger.
Then she realized that was what he was. She didn’t know this man. Not at all. She’d fooled herself into thinking they’d shared something. That their souls had met, or some such idiocy. But they hadn’t.
It only underlined her stupidity. Her weakness.
Last night, she’d felt like herself. Freed from all the layers of protection and expectation. Somehow slipped free of those well-meaning, soul-binding words spoken by her parents all those years ago. She’d felt real. Well, real Rachel was, it turned out, incredibly stupid. There was a reason she’d been kept in hiding.
“You know who I am, don’t you?” she asked.
He stood, the covers falling from around his waist, his body, his beautiful hard body, on display for her. And even now it made her heart leap into her throat. Like it was trying to climb out so it could get a look at the view.
“Why were you looking at my wallet?”
“It was on the floor. I picked it up. I thought, ‘nice wallet for a cabin boy.’ Clearly far too nice. So now you might as well tell me the truth.”
“I know who you are,” he said. “Imagine my surprise when you found me before I could find you. Imagine my further surprise when I realized I didn’t need a week or a special event to seduce you. You were a lot easier than I expected.”
“To what end?” she asked, her heart thundering, her hands shaking. “Why would you... Why...?”
“Because I want what he has. Everything. And I’ve had something very special to him now. Now we both know I’ve had you first.”
“You bastard,” she said, scouring the room for her clothes. “You...! This is my hotel room.” She stopped collecting her clothes and started getting his instead. “Get your clothes and get out.” She threw his shorts at him, then his shirt. “Out!”
He started dressing. “I don’t know who you think your fiancé is, but I know who he is.”
“And I know who you are! A... A... I can’t even think of a bad enough word for what you are. And you’re no kind of man.”
“You and I both know I am.”
“The ability to trick a woman into letting you put your hard penis inside of her does not make you a man!”
“Did I trick you? Or did I, like you, not tell you everything. I hardly forced you into bed.”
No, he hadn’t. And that meant it was her fault. Her stupid, stupid fault.
“But you...seduced me knowing that you would ruin my engagement. With the express intent of doing it!”
“And you thought my seducing you would leave it intact? Is that it? Or are you just pissed because I planned it?”
“Yes! I am pissed that you planned it. I thought we had something... I thought...” Her throat closed off, emotion, anger choking our her words.
“Such a virgin, Rachel,” he said, his tone dry.
“No, I’m not, and I think we both know it. Because of you!” And even before that she’d lacked innocence. Which meant she should have known, she did know. But he’d made her forget.
“Because of you, agape,” he said, tugging his slacks up and doing the button. “You made your choice. Don’t be angry with me because I outed you as being faithless.”
Before she could measure her response, his wallet was sailing out of her hands, skimming his ear, hitting the wall behind him. “Out!” she screamed.
She had just destroyed her engagement. The future of her family’s company. All for sex. Sex with a man who’d been using her. Tricking her. Trying to hurt Ajax...
Ajax, who hadn’t deserved this treatment at all. Who cared for her. And her father... After all he’d done for her...
She pressed her palms into her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Out. Out. Out,” she said.
“Rachel...”
“You ruined my life!” she screamed, flinging her arms wide. “I thought you were different. I thought you made me...feel something and you were just lying. I blew up my life for you and it was a lie!”
“I never promised you anything. You made a mistake. Unhappily for you.”
“Don’t call him,” she said, her stomach sinking. “Just don’t call him.”
“I don’t have to,” he said. “You won’t marry him.”
“One night with you and I’m going to leave the man I’ve been engaged to for years? I hardly think so,” she said. Only a few moments ago, she would have. Just a few short moments ago.
She would have exposed herself to scandal, exposed her family to it. She would have destroyed everything she’d spent years rebuilding for him. What had she been thinking?
And now...what had she done? What was wrong with her? She hadn’t thought, not for a moment. She’d been feeling. Lost in some inane fantasy that had no hope of ever coming true.
Now she was sitting here, all of it burned down, ash at her feet, the hero of the story revealed as a villain.
“Just go. And please don’t contact me. Please don’t call him, don’t... Don’t.”
“Now, why,” he said, his lip curling, “would I agree to that? I got exactly what I wanted. I am a man who makes careful plans, agape, and I don’t plan on changing them just because you shed a tear.”
He strode across the room, to the hotel door, and walked out. He didn’t even look at her again. Didn’t spare her one more glance as he closed the door behind him.
Rachel sank onto the floor, her knees giving out entirely. And it was then she realized that she was still completely naked. But it didn’t matter. Putting on clothes wouldn’t make her feel less exposed. Wouldn’t make her feel less...dirty.
That’s what it was. She felt dirty.
She’d betrayed Ajax.
That was the truth no matter who Alex really was. But his betrayal was like salt in her wounds, as they would be salt in Ajax’s.
Ajax...
She would have been prepared to end the relationship if there had even been a chance that...
That Alex wasn’t a lying, horrible, hideous bastard. But there wasn’t. He was. And that meant she had to go back home. The wedding had to go forward. Her life had to go forward. As if this hadn’t happened.
This was why she’d avoided passion. This was why she’d avoided doing things that were risky, and crazy. Because when she took chances, she got hurt. Because when she trusted, it came back to haunt her. On her knees, her chest burning so bad she could hardly breathe, she remembered exactly why she’d taken to hiding herself.
Never
