Either would be loved to bits. She prayed it would be healthy—and that she could deliver her baby safely into the world.
She also had to decide when to tell people. Because of the high risk of miscarriage throughout the pregnancy she didn’t want to tell anybody until the doctor gave her some encouragement things would work out.
How cruel to be granted this precious wish and have it snatched away if she miscarried. Once again she searched the Internet for high-risk pregnancies and ways to get around the problems. There was no getting around the scarring; the rest she’d do her best to minimize.
She would tell her family in a couple of weeks at Thanksgiving. They would rejoice with her news. And be there if the unspeakable happened.
She knew the exact day they had made love—it wasn’t everybody who could say exactly when a child was conceived. She was not quite two months along but after Christmas the first trimester would have passed. If she were still pregnant, and had her doctor’s blessing, she’d tell friends then. She wanted everyone to know before she moved to Brussels. It was so much better to hear it in person rather than via e-mail or a letter.
Though she still had the problem of how to tell Tanner. And when. She could imagine his reaction—she suspected he would not be happy. The last thing he wanted was to get tangled up with anybody. Dating was fine—even having a steady relationship for a few weeks fit his game plan. She’d have to make sure he knew she expected nothing from him. Should she wait to tell until right before she left for Europe? Or maybe waiting until she was in Brussels would be safer.
Safer? What did she expect, he’d change his mind about her transfer?
Actually she hadn’t a clue how he’d take the news—but she didn’t feel it would be a warm and happy reaction.
She dreaded the confrontation. Brainstorming different ways to relay the news, she didn’t have a comfortable plan by end of the day. Maybe something would come to her soon.
By Saturday, Anna was going crazy being cooped up. The rain had passed and the day was glorious. The mild medication the doctor had prescribed had cleared up her nausea and the endless hours of rest had her feeling fit again.
She bundled up against the breeze coming off the Bay and headed for the marina. There was a large bookstore there that would have everything she needed.
As she walked along, her spirits soared. It was a beautiful day and she was pregnant! She couldn’t wait until she showed and the entire world would know with just one glance.
Spending hours browsing in the bookstore, Anna finally emerged with six books, one on what to expect during pregnancy and five on child care. She had watched her sister’s children from time to time, and always rocked the babies when they were little, but this was different. She would be responsible for the entire care of this child. She needed to learn so much. She wanted to be the best mother possible.
She was only a couple of blocks from the wharf. Since it was so pretty, and she was loathe to return to her apartment this soon, she decided to walk to Pier 39 and have something to eat. Frequent small meals were the key to ending the nausea according to her doctor.
One of the treats at the Pier was the bunch of sea lions at the end. Their antics always caused laughter. She could hear their hoarse barking from blocks away. Feeling buoyed by the day, she almost walked on air. When the baby was older and they visited the States, she’d bring him or her to see the sea lions. There was so much she wanted to share with her child.
Her favorite city spot on the Bay was as crowded as most Saturdays. She dodged in-line skaters, kite fliers and families with children running back and forth. The tourists lined up to ride the excursion boats. Joggers ran along the outside of the wide sidewalks, dodging the occasional pedestrian that veered into their paths. The breeze was brisk, cool and refreshing. She shifted the bag of books to her other hand and looked around with interest. She loved people watching.
“Anna?”
She recognized that voice. Stunned, she looked over her shoulder. Tanner veered from the edge of the sidewalk to jog over to her. He’d obviously been running a while. His long legs showed beneath dark blue shorts. His T-shirt was marked with perspiration. His hair was totally windblown. Gone was the staid business professional. He looked hot and sexy. Her eyes drank in every inch. He looked like he had at the gym, fit and athletic, and gorgeous enough to stop her heart.
“Hi,” she said. They’d never gone jogging together, but they had discussed it a couple of times. Golden Gate Park had wonderful jogging trails through the eucalyptus groves and on out to the ocean. She’d thought they’d explore some of them together. But that was before he stopped calling.
“Feeling better, I take it. You look good,” he said.
She nodded, pleased with the compliment. “First day out. I couldn’t stand to stay in the apartment a minute longer. I see you’re getting some exercise.”
“First time this week. It’s been hectic, as I’m sure you’d expect. Long hours, lots to review even when I get back to the apartment at night.”
“Talked to everyone?”
“All the managers. I’m getting some resistance in certain quarters. Nothing I can’t handle,” he said confidently.
She could imagine Tanner handling anything. Except—maybe her announcement. Of course she instantly wanted to tell him. Yet she wasn’t ready. And if the baby didn’t make it, there’d be no reason to tell him. She wasn’t sure which way to go.
“Want to grab a cup of coffee?” he asked. “That is if you don’t mind being seen with me like this.”
Anna hesitated. His attire was the least of it. She was suddenly conscious of the books in the bag, of the secret she kept. Yet a part of her yearned to spend a few more minutes in his company. She had missed him over the last few weeks. Soon she’d be living thousands of miles away and any chance of running into him would vanish.
“I might be talked into a fruit smoothie,” she said. There were several places on the Pier that offered caffeine-free beverages.
He fell into step as they headed toward the Pier. “Been shopping?”
“Just a few books to while away the time. I wish I’d had them this week.” She hoped he wouldn’t ask her titles. They shared a liking of mysteries. Quickly to forestall him, she asked, “Did you finish your run? Or am I interrupting?”
“I was winding down,” he said. “You’re not interrupting.”
“So how was your first week?” She had mixed emotions, knowing she would not be at the head office long to watch Tanner in action. She was excited about her promotion, however, and couldn’t wait to head an entire division herself. Maybe he’d give her some pointers about taking over from someone who was retiring.
“Exhilarating,” he said. “There is so much more challenge at Drysdale than I had my previous place. That was a growing company and had its own set of challenges. With Drysdale Electronics I have to reverse some ill advised decisions to regain market share. The company is larger and more diverse, so the challenges greater.”
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