wouldn’t hold her any more.
Josh knew that, in spite of her hopeful question, he almost didn’t need to spell out the bad news. The look of misery in her eyes was mute evidence that she knew what he wanted to talk about, and that it wasn’t good.
‘When he arrives, would you get Dr Dixon to give me a buzz? I just need to chase up some of Max’s lab results.’ And take a couple of minutes to work out exactly how he was going to break the bad news.
The fact that he worked in an area of medicine where his patients often existed right on the very knife edge of survival meant that a higher proportion of them weren’t going to survive. As a depressing consequence of that, he had to go through this conversation far more often than most, but it didn’t matter how many times he’d had to do it, it never seemed to get any easier. In fact, he’d found out early on in his training that somehow it was always worse when it was a child involved rather than someone who had lived a long and fruitful life.
‘Mr Weatherby, I think Dani went up to the lab to chase up the results,’ Letty volunteered tentatively. ‘She took more tests when she came in this morning.’
‘Good,’ Josh said with a reassuring smile even as he wondered just what time Dani had arrived that morning.
Had she even gone home last night? he pondered when he saw the dark circles under her eyes a few minutes later when she arrived in his room with a small sheaf of paperwork in her hand. It was all very well, wanting to do a good job in a new post, but she wouldn’t succeed if she exhausted herself in the first few days.
‘Well?’ he prompted as he held out his hand for the printout of Max’s results, hoping against hope that the figures would give at least some grounds for hope.
There weren’t any.
‘Damn,’ he muttered when he saw the readings that confirmed the fact that Max’s infections were growing worse instead of better. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. That tiny body just didn’t have any spare resources to battle the invader. It had never been intended to take on such a foe at a time when it should still have been safely inside the shelter of a cosy womb.
‘Josh, you are going to speak to them…to warn them that…?’ He heard her swallow as she allowed the sentence to die away but they both knew how it would have ended. He had to warn the parents that their baby had very little time left. That it could be a matter of hours before the battle was lost.
Before he could speak there was a tentative knock at the door and Letty’s pale face appeared when he called an invitation to enter.
‘James has arrived,’ she said. ‘And Sister told me that Dr Dixon was already in here with you, so…’
‘Come in, please, both of you.’ He gestured towards the group of chairs in front of the window. ‘Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee or…?’
‘N-nothing, thank you,’ Letty stammered, her eyes wide with dread. She was visibly trembling as her husband tried to guide her towards one of the chairs.
Josh couldn’t help but be impressed that, even though she looked as though she would fall over at any moment, she stood her ground and forced herself to stare straight at him.
‘You’re going to tell us that Max is dying, aren’t you?’ she said in accusing tones, the very picture of a lioness defending her cub. ‘You’ve brought us in here to tell us that you’re not going to bother to do anything more to save our little boy…our precious little…’
‘Shh, love. Shh,’ her husband soothed as he wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders and pressed her into the nearest chair. ‘Let the man speak.’
There was something in his eyes as they met Josh’s that let him know that he understood what was coming; that he’d already resigned himself to the fact that he was going to lose the only child he’d ever have.
For just a moment Josh longed to be able to give them something to hope for, but that wouldn’t just be dishonest, it would also be unkind.
He flicked a glance towards Dani and wondered for an instant if she’d really thought through her career choice carefully enough. Of course there was an enormous amount of satisfaction in the work he did, but there was also so much devastation when there was absolutely nothing they could do for their tiny charges. Dani was a gentle, soft-hearted girl. Would it damage something essential inside her if she specialised in a branch of medicine where she had to deal with this sort of scene time after time?
Suddenly, he realised that the expectant silence had been going on for several beats too long while he’d been distracted with thoughts about his newest colleague. With a quick glance down at the papers in his hand to restore his focus, he deliberately stepped forward to lower himself into the chair opposite the Montgomerys and leant forward.
‘Unfortunately, I haven’t got anything good to report,’ he admitted with an all-too-familiar ache in his heart. ‘The latest test results aren’t any better than before. In fact, they’re worse,’ he continued bluntly when Letty would have interrupted. ‘Much worse because, in spite of everything we’ve been pumping into his system, the infection’s gained so much ground that his lung function is almost zero and without oxygen getting into his system…’
‘But he’s got the mask on and that’s connected to the oxygen…’ James Montgomery might think he was holding together well, but he was just as close to the edge as his wife.
‘That’s true, but normally the oxygen is taken up in the lungs to be transferred into the blood and circulated around the body. In Max’s case, even on the highest flow rate, the infection is preventing enough oxygen being taken up. That is pretty bad in itself, but these latest tests show us that the infection has broken through from the lungs into the blood, and has now spread throughout his body. Unfortunately, even when it was confined to his lungs we couldn’t find anything to get rid of it, so we’re very much afraid that it won’t be long before all his organs start to shut down.’
Damn, he cursed silently. He’d had all too much practice at coping with crying patients and their families, but even over the sound of their distress he’d heard Dani gulp as she fought for some semblance of professional control, but to see the glitter of tears in her eyes was enough to choke him.
‘H-how long before…before…?’ James stumbled over the sound of his wife’s heartrending sobs.
‘It’s impossible to say, but…’ Josh shook his head. He’d seen some babies struggle on for days, their lives ebbing slowly away, while others went rapidly downhill, seemingly in minutes. ‘Probably within hours,’ he suggested gently.
‘J—Mr Weatherby,’ Dani corrected herself quickly. ‘Would it be all right if Letty and James hold Max while he’s…?’
‘Of course it would,’ he agreed hastily, silently kicking himself for being so distracted that he hadn’t suggested it. ‘We can detach a lot of tubes and wires so you can cuddle him properly.’
‘And you can talk to him and tell him how much you love him,’ Dani continued as she gently shepherded the two of them out of the room, the glance she threw his way over her shoulder just before she left his room so full of empathy with the couple’s plight that it was almost enough to break his heart.
Four hours later, Max’s fight for life was over.
In
