ever raised his voice, but she made him want to bellow like a longshoreman. “I’m very nice to the women in my life. I—”
“I didn’t say you weren’t nice, in your own material way. What I meant was, you apparently have a reputation for becoming bored with lovers and chucking them out faster than a fashion model changes her shoes. If a woman with any sense at all gets involved with you, she knows she’s going to be dumped in a matter of weeks. So she views you the same way you view her. You take what you can from her, and she takes the only thing you’re selling—expensive baubles.”
Jacob glared at her. “You make me sound pretty damn shallow. I’m not like that. Ask Thomas!”
She laughed and shook her head, sending a smooth blond wave shimmering. “Who’s Thomas? Your manservant?” Her tone was clearly disparaging.
She was driving him nuts. What right did this small-town librarian have to analyze him? “Well, yes...Thomas is my chauffeur and bodyguard and many other things, but he’s also my friend.”
“And I’m sure he’s generously compensated for taking your side in any discussion,” she stated.
He read in her eyes that she understood she’d stepped over some invisible line with her last barb. Doubt flashed across her face.
Jacob felt heat rise in his own. Suddenly, it seemed impossible not to grab her, and he did. He wanted to shake her, shake her hard and make her understand he wasn’t a bad man at all—it was just that the world refused to treat him like other men. Things had always been different for him. He was given special privileges, yes. But there were rights other men took for granted—like privacy, choice of education and occupation, the ability to live wherever one wished and marry whomever one chose. He would never have those things.
This time, when he gripped her arm, he let her know through the pressure of his fingers on her flesh that she wouldn’t be able to break free until he was ready to let her go. “Thomas never gives less than his honest opinion, even if he knows I won’t like it,” he growled at her.
“Really,” she said. “And what did Thomas say about you and me, two years ago? Or wasn’t he part of your royal retinue at the time?”
Jacob winced. She was playing rough. “He was my driver while I was attending undergrad courses at Oxford, in England. After that, he stayed on as my personal assistant, man Friday, chauffeur...whatever I needed. He was also with me when I was at Yale, but I told him I could fend for myself while he took a well-deserved trip home to visit his family in London.”
“So he never knew about me?” she asked.
“No.” Why did he feel as if he should drop his head and stare ashamedly at his feet whenever she confronted him with their past? It wasn’t like him to feel guilty about anything he’d done. But then, he’d never produced a child from one of his affairs, until the one he’d had with Allison. “Look, I didn’t force you to become my lover. I didn’t seduce you with my fortune, promise you a weekend in the Alps, buy you expensive jewelry....”
“That’s right,” she said, “because you were clever enough to know those things wouldn’t work with me.”
“I could have promised you I’d marry you or stay with you forever. I never said I loved you.”
“No, you didn’t,” Allison admitted, her voice sounding painfully hollow. Her eyes dimmed for an instant before flashing up at him. “I didn’t say I loved you, either.”
The bite of her words took his breath away. Why should it matter? It never had before, with other women.
But for some reason, Allison’s bringing up the idea left him feeling destitute—as if something precious had been given to him, then abruptly snatched from his hands. He’d never thought much about love, because he equated being loved with not being alone. And he was never alone. Bevies of people had always hovered around him—caring for his basic needs, answering his questions, fetching whatever he preferred for food, clothing, entertainment.
Before Thomas, there had been nurses, governesses, butlers and maids. His mother had died five years earlier, but in a puzzling way he missed her no more than he missed many of his old teachers. The queen often had been too busy to spend time with him. She’d certainly never told him in words that she loved him. He was an only child, so there had been no siblings to rival him for her affections. Love had, in short, never been an issue for him. He wasn’t even sure what it meant.
“Alli,” he breathed, still holding her arm. “Why do you have to be so difficult, so combative?”
“Me? I’m not being difficult at all, Prince Jacob.” She batted her lashes innocently at him. “I’ve come to say thank-you very much for the dress, but I don’t want or need it. I also want to tell you how much I appreciate your invite to this nifty party of yours. I’m enjoying myself immensely. The food is scrumptious, the wine seems a good year. I’d say I’m being totally agreeable.”
Her tongue was firmly embedded in her cheek. She was toying with him. Yet Jacob found it difficult to remain angry with her. He was almost overcome by the scent of her, by the electricity sizzling through the flesh of her slender arm, into his hand. The more controlled and reasonable her behavior, the crazier he felt.
“You want something,” he roared, looming over her. He felt powerful, yet helpless at the same time. “You aren’t that different from the others.”
Her cool glance rose to meet him. “I suppose I do want something. I’ll tell you what it is,” she whispered conspiratorially. “I’d give a king’s ransom for a decent ham sandwich right now. This stuff is tasty, but it would take a week of nibbling to satisfy a real appetite.”
“Knock it off, Alli. Just tell me what you’re after and we can quit playing games. It’s the kid, isn’t it? You want money for him. Fine. I won’t even argue the possibility that he might not be mine. If you need money, I’ll make sure you have it. But I don’t want a word of this leaked to the press or—” He broke off, silenced by the fury reflected in her features.
“You pompous, spoiled brat,” she hissed, attempting to shake him off. “I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone as self-involved as you, Jacob von Whatever-you-are.”
He was astonished by her reaction. “I’m offering you any amount you name for a child I’ve never seen,” he objected. “I can’t even be certain he’s mine! I think that’s pretty damn generous, lady.”
“And that’s exactly why you’re all the things I just called you,” she snapped at him. “I don’t want your money, Jacob. I want you to go away and leave me and my son alone. The only reason I’m here is to avoid the cost of mailing your damn dress back to you.” She wrenched her arm out of his grasp. “Get out of my way. I want to leave now.”
He couldn’t ignore the determination in her eyes. And he couldn’t believe how sure of herself she sounded. Finally, he understood. She was asking for nothing from him but his absence. It was the first time in his life he’d met anyone who honestly had no intention of using him. Power, money, prestige by association, bragging rights for sleeping with him...She asked for none of those things. He didn’t know how to deal with her.
So he did what his body had been badgering him to do since she set foot on the Queen Elise. He intercepted her before she reached the steps, dragged her into his arms and kissed her possessively on the mouth. The kiss lengthened, softened, grew deliriously heady. Finally,
