began to spin. There it was. The bald truth at last.
Marry Sadik or lose her baby.
“You couldn’t do that,” she said between suddenly dry lips. “You’re not a monster. Why would you take my child away from me?”
He rose and came around the desk. He took the chair next to hers and pulled it close. “I have no wish for you to be apart from our child. I have told you, I want us to be married and live together as a family. You are the one who insists on making things difficult.”
Her chest tightened, and it became impossible to breathe. This couldn’t be happening.
She had to reason with him, make him see that what he was doing was crazy. Panic welled up inside of her, but she ignored it. Now was the time to keep a clear head.
“Why do you want to marry someone who is so determined not to be with you?” she asked, staring at him intently. “There are many other women who would be thrilled to be your wife. Can’t you marry one of them instead?”
“You are the mother of my son.”
“But don’t you want a wife who cares about you?”
He smiled. As she watched, his mouth turned up and he gazed at her as one would gaze at a precious child. She wanted to slap him.
“You care about me.” He took her hands in his. Her fingers felt like ice, while his were warm. The contrast burned her skin. “You would not have come to my bed if you didn’t care.”
He shook his head when she started to interrupt. “I understand what you said about your past. That time is finished. You are a different person now.”
She knew she was, but she hated that he knew it, too. It fed his argument rather than her own.
“We like each other,” he continued. “We have passion, we’ll have the baby. In time there will be more children. I believe we will have a long and happy marriage.”
Her heart died a little as he spoke. “You want convenience,” she said before she could stop herself. “You want to be sensible and do the right thing. But you don’t want to love me.”
The words hovered in the room like a mist. Sadik stiffened, then released her hands and leaned back in the chair.
“Is love so very necessary?”
He asked the question casually, but she would swear she heard pain in his voice. Her chest tightened.
“Yes. I don’t want an empty union.”
“Is it not enough I offer you the world?”
She didn’t want the world; she wanted him. Only him. She loved him, and it was clear he didn’t love her back.
“Sadik—”
He rose to his feet and walked to the window. Once there, he stood with his back to her. “I will tell you of love. I will tell you that it adds nothing and causes only pain.”
He was wrong, but she found it impossible to speak. Silence filled the room. Then he took a deep breath.
“My engagement to Kamra was arranged. I had met her a few times and had no objection to the union. She was attractive and from a good family. Her quiet nature soothed me. She had been raised to be the wife of an important man, and as such had not been out in the world very much.”
His words were daggers to her heart. Cleo doubted that she and the precious Kamra could be more opposite. But she didn’t stop him from speaking. She knew she had to hear everything.
“As she was very young and not used to the ways of the world, our engagement was to last a year. Over the months we spent much time together. I grew to admire her, then care about her. Eventually I fell in love with her.”
Cleo wanted to cover her ears and scream so she couldn’t hear him. Her eyes burned, but she refused to give in to tears.
He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his trousers. “We quarreled. I do not recall the reason. It was barely three weeks before the wedding and she was leaving for Paris with her mother. They were to do some last-minute shopping. Kamra left in tears.”
He paused for several seconds, then continued. “After a time I decided to go after her. I called ahead to delay the plane, then drove toward the airport. On the way I saw a car accident. The ambulance was already there. I slowed to give way, then recognized the car. Her mother escaped with only minor injuries, but Kamra was dead.”
He turned to look at Cleo. His eyes were bleak, his mouth a straight line. “My heart died at that moment, with Kamra. I will never love again.”
Chapter Nine
C leo didn’t remember leaving Sadik’s office. She didn’t remember anything until she found herself wandering the halls of the palace. Her whole body hurt, and she had the feeling that she would never feel whole again.
She stopped and rested on a small bench in an alcove. Misery filled her, but it was not the kind to be eased by tears. She hurt too much for that.
She forced herself to keep breathing and stay calm. For the sake of the baby, she told herself, touching her stomach. But nothing about her situation felt possible. How could her life have come to this? One of the palace cats strolled by. She tried to distract herself by petting it, but despite the feel of soft fur against her fingers, her tension didn’t ease.
Was she really to be forced into a marriage with a man who didn’t love her? Who wouldn’t love her because he’d already given his love away to a woman who had died? It didn’t seem possible. She wasn’t completely helpless. She had a brain and she wasn’t afraid of hard work. She could simply slip out of the palace and…
And what? Cleo turned the question over in her mind. Her savings back home were fairly meager and not enough to keep her going while she was on the run. She was already in her fifth month of pregnancy. How long would she be able to work? And even if she could find a well-paying job where no one asked any questions, what about when the baby came? Did she want to spend her life hiding out?
Cleo wasn’t sure of many things, but she was convinced that Sadik would come looking for the baby, if not for her. Should he find her, he would take the child from her. She doubted any American court would side with her once they found out that not only had Sadik offered to marry her, he’d promised to treat her like…well…like a princess.
No one would understand, she thought sadly. No one would get that it wasn’t about wealth and privilege, it was about finding love. She couldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her.
Cleo rubbed her temples, as if she could ease her pain. The worst part of it was that while Sadik was obviously capable of love, he wasn’t willing to love her. She wasn’t enough to bring him out of mourning for Kamra.
All her life she’d never been enough. Her mother hadn’t cared enough to stick around: drugs had been far more important than her child. Fiona had taken Cleo in but hadn’t bothered to adopt her. Ian had been willing to sleep with her but had never considered her more than a plaything. Sadik was at least willing to sleep with her and marry her. She supposed that was a step up. She should be grateful.
