After a moment, Clay’s eyes widened in shock, his hand dropped to his side and he said, “I’ll be damned. You haven’t told him yet, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
Now she was losing her defensiveness and getting angry, too. “Don’t swear at me, Clay. I haven’t told him yet because I was waiting for the right moment.”
Clay’s hands rose slowly to his waist and his jaw thrust forward belligerently. “And just when would that be? Five minutes before you walked down the aisle?”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t tell him yet because I didn’t want to spoil his skiing vacation with you.” Immediately, she knew she had said the wrong thing, but she couldn’t backtrack now.
Clay jumped on her mistake like a cat landing on a mouse. “Are you listening to yourself?” he asked in a scoffing tone. “If news of your marriage would spoil his vacation, then it must not be good news.”
Becca’s hands dropped and curled into fists. “I meant that he would be thinking about it a great deal and not enjoying his time with you.” Finally, she just shut her mouth, knowing she was doing nothing but making things worse. She took a deep breath. “Listen, this isn’t getting us anywhere. Why don’t you go on your skiing trip and have a good time? When you get back, we’ll sit down together with Jimmy and explain everything.”
Clay stared at her. “Fat chance.”
“You said yourself that his reaction to our divorce would be much easier for him if he thinks we’re on friendly terms.”
“I wasn’t talking about this! Besides, why would he think we would be on friendly terms about you marrying again, Bec? We haven’t been on friendly terms about much of anything in two years.”
“Then it’s time we started,” Becca snapped.
She longed for him to leave, to let her sit down, rub away the headache that was beginning to pound in her temples and figure out how she had made such a mess of this when she’d had it so carefully planned.
Clay drew away, his hands dropped to his sides where they opened and closed a couple of times as he said, “This isn’t the end of this, Becca. You have no right to spring something like this on Jimmy—or on me, for that matter.”
He turned and strode from the room, snatching up Jimmy’s duffel bag and calling his name as he went. Becca was left to slump against the counter and try to catch her breath.
“Stupid, stupid,” she muttered fiercely, thumping the heel of her hand against her forehead. She had to do a better job of handling things like this or her life would continue to be a battleground even after she married Barry, and Jimmy would always be caught in the middle.
When she felt a little steadier, she pulled herself up straight, smoothed her dress, and walked into the living room. Jimmy was giving Brittnie a goodbye hug, but when he saw Becca, he broke away and rushed toward her, anxious to be reassured that everything was okay between his mom and dad, have the goodbyes over, and be on his way.
Quietly, she reassured him that she and Clay had finished their discussion and things were fine. Becca hugged him tightly and kissed him until he wiggled away. “Mom, that’s enough kissing,” he said, holding her off. “I gotta go. Dad’s waiting.”
At last, Becca looked up and met Clay’s eyes. They were still full of fire laced with accusation that was aimed at her. He had picked his hat up from the coffee table and was slapping it against his leg, his gestures so controlled she knew he was still seething.
From nowhere, guilt washed over her. This time, she couldn’t convince herself that she had done nothing wrong.
“Are you okay to drive, Clay?”
He gave her a look that asked if she was kidding and said, “We’ll be back Saturday night.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper. “Here’s the number where you can reach us.”
She took it from him. “All...all right. Thank you.”
Becca looked at him as Jimmy opened the front door and began dragging his duffel bag onto the porch and Brittnie slipped away to the kitchen. Probably to see if it was still standing, Becca thought.
This is the place where, in the past, she would have thrown herself into Clay’s arms and clung to him, hating the weakness in her that seemed to demand that everything be smoothed out between them before he left. This is when he would have kissed her until she was breathless and promised to be home as soon as possible.
They couldn’t do that now. They were divorced so such displays were out of the question. Also, there were too many bad things crowding out whatever good had been between them.
She clasped her hands in front of her and rocked on her boot heels as she broke eye contact with him. “Well, I’ll be seeing you on Saturday, then, Clay.”
With a nod, he placed his hat on his head and strode outside. She followed, watching as he stowed Jimmy’s bag in the back of the Explorer, then buckled their son’s seat belt securely and climbed in behind the wheel. Jimmy waved excitedly as they backed out. Her answering wave was as cheerful as she could make it. She mouthed “I love you’s” to him.
Clay lifted his head suddenly, his eyes locking with hers as the Explorer rolled into the street. He was looking at her, at the way she addressed her love to their son, and that’s why he didn’t see Joey Emerson’s Monte Carlo as it broke over the top of the hill and raced down the street toward them.
CHAPTER TWO
THE hospital waiting room doors flew open and Becca looked up to see Mary Jane and Shannon Kelleher rushing toward her, anxiety in their faces. Relieved, but shaking, she stood to be folded in her stepmother’s arms. Although Mary Jane was only thirteen years older than she, Becca, who couldn’t even remember the woman who had given birth to her, had always thought of her as her true mother, and her best friend. Her half-sister, Shannon, crowded close. She was taller than the other two women. She put her arms around them both so that the three of them were held tightly together.
Becca gave her sister a welcoming look. She had recently begun a new job with the county government’s soil conservation office and she had a very tough boss. Becca was grateful her sister had been able to get away.
“Brittnie called,” Mary Jane said, pulling away to look into Becca’s pale face and tear-bright eyes. She touched her stepdaughter’s cold cheek. “She told us everything. How is Jimmy? And Clay? And the Emerson boy?”
Becca took a trembling breath, beginning to feel steadier now that her family had arrived. “Jimmy bumped his head on the door. He’s got a lump above his right eye and he’s shaken up, but he’ll be fine. Dr. Kress is keeping him here overnight to watch him. They’re getting him settled in his room, which is why I’m out here. And Joey Emerson wasn’t even scratched. I don’t know how that happened. Clay is hurt the worst because Joey’s car hit directly on his side. He seems to have a concussion and his left leg is broken, but we won’t know how badly either of those injuries is until the X rays are finished.” She looked around vaguely. “It should be pretty soon.”
Mary
