history is dead and gone.”
“From what I understand, even the doctors aren’t completely sure how much Shane’s mind has been altered.”
“He’s completely harmless, Beth, if that’s what you’re getting at. His doctor didn’t think there was any problem with him working around small children, which he certainly would have if Shane posed any kind of threat.”
“Just be careful.”
Beth waved as a car passed. Mr. and Mrs. Mather. They’d been one of her house-cleaning clients, Bonnie remembered.
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you.”
Bonnie wished Beth’s opinion didn’t matter so much.
“No.” As if by previous consensus, they both turned the corner, slowing their pace as they started down another deserted street. “As a matter of fact, I completely understand.” She spoke in a low voice, holding Bonnie’s full attention.
“You know how I spent my youth, Bonnie. Training to be a concert pianist is completely consuming, draining every ounce of energy you have and then demanding more. I gave it everything and somehow managed to get my business degree, as well. And then, after my parents were killed and I was on my own, I suddenly found myself with skills and discipline and drive, and nothing important to contribute. People were dying every day while I played scales.”
“Hardly.” Bonnie still got chills every time Beth sat down at the piano. The woman brought something elemental, spiritual almost, to everything she played.
“It’s how I felt,” Beth insisted. “And that feeling drove me straight into the trap James Silverman and Peter Sterling set.”
It was the first time Bonnie had ever heard her friend mention her ex-husband and his partner. The two men who’d, in the end, contracted a killer to ensure her death.
“I wanted to make a difference, to stand for something, to help save the world in some significant way.”
Taking Beth’s arm, a silent support, Bonnie ached for her friend, ached because of the memories Beth would never completely escape.
“The cult allowed me to believe I was contributing something huge, and that feeling drove me for a long time, Bon. Far longer—and farther—than it should have. It drove me into turning a blind eye to things that were not only immoral but illegal, as well.”
Sterling Silver, the cult run by Beth’s ex-husband and his doctor partner, had been shut down the previous year when Greg had gone searching for the identity of the woman he loved. James Silverman and Peter Sterling were currently serving life sentences in separate Texas prisons.
“So you’re saying I should just ignore this feeling and be thankful for the life I have.”
It was exactly what she’d been telling herself.
“I don’t know,” Beth said, turning with Bonnie as they reached another corner, heading back toward the day care. “I don’t think there are any easy answers.”
Bonnie didn’t think so, either.
“You said Keith noticed something’s wrong. What does he say about all this?”
“Nothing,” Bonnie said, kicking a pebble into the street. “I can’t tell him I need more out of life than he’s giving me, Beth. It would kill him. And it’s not fair to him, either. Because there’s nothing he can do. Besides, I might wake up tomorrow and be perfectly satisfied again.”
“I doubt it.”
“Me, too.”
They walked on, their silence broken only by an occasional passing car. And there weren’t many of those.
“But I still can’t tell him,” Bonnie eventually said. “I can’t hurt him like that.”
“I couldn’t, either.”
“That letter from Diamond today…”
“Yeah?”
“It was the third one of its kind. He’s got a buyer for the property, contingent on me relocating. The developer has a rule against day cares in strip malls.”
“Mike Diamond’s selling?”
“I guess.”
“Wow. That surprises me. I thought he was planning to expand, not get out.”
“I know. Me, too.”
“So what are you going to do?” Beth asked, slowing as the day care came in sight.
“I can’t move without building a place,” Bonnie said. “I’d already exhausted all the other possibilities when Diamond’s place became available.”
“Can you afford to build?”
“Maybe. Probably. If Keith and I take out a loan. But how can I even contemplate putting us deeper in debt when I’m not even sure this is what I want?”
“I’m guessing you haven’t talked to Keith about it.”
They stopped at the corner across the street from Little Spirits. Bonnie looked at her sister-in-law. “How can I—without getting into the whole ‘I’m not satisfied with my life’ thing?”
“So tell Diamond no.”
“I’m planning to.”
“Then why haven’t you?”
They crossed the street, the traffic noises not nearly loud enough to hide what Bonnie hated to admit.
“Because I can’t quite turn my back on the chance to get out of the two years I have left on my lease.”
CHAPTER THREE
THERE WERE SOME THINGS that just shouldn’t change. Stockings was one of them. Lonna Nielson rolled the silky material up her right leg, ignoring the varicose veins she passed along the way, and clipped it into place with two quick pinches of her fingers.
Women had been wearing stockings since before she was born. They hid imperfections. They gave a woman a sense of dress, of polish—a personal finishing that served as an invisible shield between her and anything the day might bring. Those silk stockings told the world that she took pride in herself.
And they had to be real silk stockings, pulled up one at a time and hooked to the garter belt. None of that panty stuff for her. There were certain places a woman just needed to breathe.
Besides, everyone knew that garters were far sexier.
Didn’t make a whit of difference that she was seventy-six years old or that she’d been a widow for more decades than she’d been a wife. Feeling a little bit sexy was important to her.
Taking a deep breath to prepare for the pull in her lower back, she reached down for the second stocking, her mind sliding over the list
