‘Want to talk about it?’ Before she could stop him, he’d taken her sandwich back, showing it to the cashier and then walking away with it to a quiet spot in the far corner of the canteen.
As soon as she reached the table where he was sitting, she made a lunge for the sandwich, but he was too quick for her, holding it out of her reach. ‘So you’re going to starve me into submission now, are you?’
‘If necessary.’
‘I do have money, you know. I can go and get another one.’ Jenna plumped herself down on the chair opposite.
‘You’re not going to, though.’
She probably shouldn’t have shown her hand by sitting down. ‘No. I’m not.’ He pushed her sandwich across the table towards her with one finger, and Jenna took possession of it. ‘You might have told me about being shot. That you know about trauma first hand.’ She lowered her voice, hissing the words across the table at him.
‘I might have done.’ He rubbed thoughtfully at his shoulder. ‘I would have done, if I’d known that I was going to tell Julie.’
‘That’s not the point. Do you really think that you’re best placed to help her if you’ve still got issues of your own to deal with?’
‘Who says that I do?’
The look in his eyes, for a start. And Jenna was sure that she’d not been mistaken when she’d thought she’d heard his stifled cry last night. Even though she hadn’t seen him, she’d sensed his presence out on the patio. ‘Well, do you?’
‘Not where Julie’s concerned. I have it under control.’ Maybe he saw the disbelief in her eyes. ‘If you want to know, you should just ask. Rob drives me crazy, tiptoeing around what happened as if it’s some guilty secret.’
‘Well, tact never was Rob’s strong point.’ She got a grin in response. ‘I would like to know, but the canteen’s probably not the best place in the world to have this conversation.’ Jenna looked around awkwardly.
‘It’s okay. My fiancée and I were both shot eighteen months ago in Guatemala, in a roadside ambush that went bad. Elena died, and I pulled through. I struggled with it, for a long time.’
The mixed emotions jostling in her chest drained away, leaving only horror and shock. ‘Adam, I’m so sorry.’
He slid his hand across the table towards hers, as if he should be the one to comfort her. ‘It happened and I won’t say that it hasn’t changed me. But I’d never let it compromise the welfare of any patient.’
‘No.’ Her fingers were trembling, and she pressed them down onto the tabletop to steady them. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have insinuated that.’
‘But I still should have told you?’
‘Yes, I think you should.’
He nodded. ‘So do I. And I want you to promise me something.’
Anything. She’d do anything she could to help him. ‘Okay.’
‘If you ever think that a personal issue is getting in the way of my treatment of a patient, you’ll tell me. I don’t mean dropped hints or concerned noises, but words of one syllable.’
‘I can do that. I’m better at words of one syllable than I am at hints.’
He grinned. ‘Thought you might be.’ He looked at his watch. ‘As we’re here, do you have time for some coffee?’
‘Yes, of course.’ Those honest eyes of his. Never once countenancing pity, but demanding respect. Jenna could almost feel them drawing her in, inch by inch. ‘I’ve another twenty minutes of my lunch break left, and they’ll page me if they need me.’ He went to stand and she beat him to it. ‘Stay there, I’ll get them.’
Things were beginning to make sense. He’d papered over the cracks of his own trauma so effectively that it only surfaced at night when he couldn’t suppress it with an effort of will. And by the time Jenna returned with the coffee, setting his cup down in front of him, he had already moved on and was thinking about something else.
‘Acid’s a very personal way to attack someone.’
‘It was personal. Kind of.’ Jenna tipped some milk into his cup. ‘Julie has a sister, a year older than her. They’re very alike, could be twins. She’d borrowed her sister’s blouse and jacket to go out in.’
‘And the acid was meant for her sister?’
‘Yes. An ex-boyfriend who held a grudge. The parents knew there was a problem there, and had been keeping an eye on Julie’s sister.’
‘And no one thought to stop Julie from going out dressed in her sister’s clothes?’ Anger suffused every line of his face.
‘Easy to be wise after the event. I’ve talked to the parents and put in an urgent request for counselling for Julie’s sister, but she’s not at the top of the priority list.’
He sighed, his finger and thumb massaging the bridge of his nose. ‘Do you think it would help if you and I had an informal chat with the whole family?’
Jenna turned the idea over in her head, and decided to trust him. ‘Yeah. Yes, I think that would help a lot.’
He’d seemed glad of her company over coffee, and almost relieved when Jenna had steered the conversation round to lighter topics. Relaxed now, he strolled with her all the way back down to A and E, staying to chat to Jenna’s colleague Brenda while Jenna went to the locker room. And he was still there when she returned.
‘I saw penguins last year when I went to New Zealand. I wasn’t too keen on the little blighters but my friend was mad to see them.’ Brenda’s blond hair, piled up on the top of her head in a messy confection of highlights and low-lights, was shining, along with her smile.
‘Yeah?’ Brenda had caught Adam’s interest and he hardly noticed Jenna’s return. ‘I’d love to go to New Zealand.’
‘Great place. We stopped off in Hong Kong on the way.’ Brenda was a seasoned traveller, saving her money and her annual leave for somewhere far-flung every summer. ‘I’m planning to go to India this year.’
His arms were folded on the counter in front of him and he leaned forward towards Brenda. ‘Are you? Whereabouts?’
Brenda had his full attention now and they were swapping stories about places they’d been, things they’d seen. Jenna didn’t have much to contribute to that conversation. Sure, she got itchy feet from time to time, who didn’t? But her yearning to see the world had been smothered by the need for security, her home, her career. One day, maybe, she’d have that sufficiently sorted to venture out a little.
‘Tell him to come along, Jen.’ Brenda was nudging her elbow.
‘Uh? Where?’ She’d lost track, reckoning that Brenda and Adam were doing fine on their own.
‘To the softball match next Friday evening.’ Brenda turned her attention back to Adam. ‘All the hospitals have teams, and we have a kind of league. We’re playing the Marylebone Medics, and they
