edge of his coffee cup. “Did you?”
She stilled. Or, at least, her heart felt as if it had. “I beg your pardon?”
But her attempt to make him reassess the conversational turn he’d taken didn’t even make him blink. If anything, he looked even more determined. “I said, did you? You were definitely uncomfortable, so was I. I mean, it’s an embarrassing situation, no question. Made more so by the fact that we were strangers to each other, but both knew the…well, them.” He put his mug down. “But other than dealing with my presence while you were listening to them, were you really appalled personally by what they were doing in there?” He leaned closer. “If you’d been alone, what would you have done?”
His expression was daring her. She took him up on it. “I’d have gone into my room, closed the door and run a loud bath. I believe in giving people their privacy.”
“Okay. So not appalled, then. You’d just remove yourself from the situation.”
She thought for a moment, then nodded.
“So you’re in the tub. Are you honestly not thinking about them then? Thinking about what you just heard?”
“Probably I’d be thinking about it, it’d be pretty hard to ignore. I mean, it’s not a typical thing to be presented with.”
“So you’d be thinking about it. Appalled? Or aroused?”
She wasn’t liking where he was going, she’d come here to get away from this—not examine it. But his question intrigued her. Mostly because she was finding something out about herself that surprised her. And since it was only a harmless discussion, she saw no harm in sharing it.
“Maybe I’d be aroused. But not in a voyeuristic way. I can’t say that element has ever remotely appealed to me. But in the earthy way it would make you think about sex in general, I suppose.”
There, that was safe and analytical sounding. Never mind that she wanted to squirm in her seat and that the friction of her shirt against her nipples was driving her mad at the moment. He didn’t have to know that.
Looking into those amusement-filled blue eyes of his, however, she had to wonder.
“So you see, we are all the same,” he concluded. “In general, I mean. We might harbor different fantasies. You don’t get into voyeurism. But you have other things that work for you. We all do. No matter how prim and proper we are on the surface, we are all basically driven by our sexual selves, don’t you think?”
“Not to the exclusion of everything else, no.”
“But you do agree that people who pretend they aren’t sexual creatures, that they don’t respond to some kind of stimuli, are fooling themselves? Even cheating themselves?”
Natalie thought about that. “Perhaps.”
He grinned. “You don’t look too convinced.”
“I think maybe there are people who don’t so much deny their sexuality and their needs, as ignore them.” After all, that summed her up neatly. Not that she was going to share that. “People can have other priorities besides sex.” She shot him a dry smile. “Well, women can, anyway.”
He raised his hands. “Ha-ha. But I’ll agree that men are a bit more sexually centered than women. In general.”
“Now, there you have my complete agreement.”
He grinned and finished off his coffee. “For someone who seems fairly at home with her sexuality, you appear to be pretty conscious of those who aren’t. Are all the lawyers you work with that uptight?”
She was honestly surprised at his assessment. But the surprise and the late hour had her responding before she could stop. “What makes you think I’m at home, as you call it, with my sexuality?”
“The clothes you’re wearing, for one.” He shrugged off her expression with a smile. “I know I probably shouldn’t judge you by your appearance, but I don’t know much else about you. What I do know is that outfit is definitely not for the faint of heart. Or a person not completely at home with the fact that she’s a woman.”
She wouldn’t squirm. She wouldn’t. But damn if she didn’t want to. She should have felt self-conscious about that description. And she did. But she also kind of…liked it. Still, she felt compelled to be honest. Besides, no way could she back up what this outfit promised.
“Thank you for the compliment. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that these clothes belong to Liza.” She folded her arms on the table. “She didn’t find my legal-eagle party clothes suitable for her party. Which basically just proves my point. Liza is sexually adventurous, and her wardrobe and lifestyle reflect that. But I’m not, and my wardrobe and lifestyle reflect that.” There, now at least he’d know she wasn’t advertising something she had no intention of putting on the market.
Although, she couldn’t deny that the thought sent a brief thrill through her.
Jake seemed to think for a moment about what she’d said. “So which precludes which?”
Confused, she said, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, does the lifestyle and wardrobe follow the inherent nature of the woman? Or does the woman simply choose to bury her nature due to her lifestyle and accompanying wardrobe?”
Natalie had no answer for that. It was one thing to reveal that maybe, just maybe, she’d enjoyed daydreaming once in a while about having a wild fling after hearing one of Liza’s tales. It was quite another admitting she was really more like Liza deep down, or would be if she allowed herself to be.
Was she? Had she really subverted her nature because of her family and her career?
“I guess a little of both,” she answered as honestly as she could. “My family is not outward about stuff like that, but I can’t say I share that. Not fully. I might not be comfortable with outward displays, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy them. Maybe. With the right person. I do enjoy my career, and it is my priority right now. I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up for that.” She shrugged. “But maybe I repress that side of me to some point. I don’t think I deny I have it, however.” She looked at him with a little grin. “I guess I haven’t found an easy way to combine the two, so sex usually loses out.”
Was she really sitting here having a frank talk about her sexual nature with a man she just met? But she couldn’t deny it was the most stimulating thing she’d done in recent memory. Stimulating in several ways.
He didn’t say anything, just responded with a little smile of his own.
She realized she was really enjoying herself. He was fun to talk to, intriguing, thought-provoking. She was ashamed at her earlier assessment and rejection of him. Maybe she was guilty of categorizing men, making them less appealing to her so she didn’t have to deal with them. Something else she’d have to think about. What was she afraid of, anyway? Well, that she knew. Though it wasn’t fear. Merely an intelligent assessment of past problems. Entanglements impeded her career. Right now, she was simply not up to dealing with all the baggage and emotional drain that inevitably came with building a long-term relationship.
He smiled at the waitress when she brought more coffee and
