In a pool of blood on the floor, dead. I still don’t know if it was an accident or … what I feared it was. He was gone. At first I was frightened. Then I became angry. I wanted to blame someone, to get even, to make his death right. I lived for revenge. But now that I’ve almost achieved my goal of taking back Murray Oil, it’s as if my fever’s burned out.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” she teased, touching his damp brow.
“I mean my fever for revenge, which was what kept me going.”
“So,” she asked, “what will you live for now?”
“I don’t know. I guess a lot of people just wake up in the morning and go to work, then come home at night and drink while they flip channels with their remote.”
“Not you.”
“Who’s to say? Maybe such people are lucky. At least they’re not driven by hate, as I was.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like for you.” She’d always been driven by the need for love.
When he stared into her eyes with fierce longing, she pulled him close and ran her hands through his hair. “You are young yet. You’ll find something to give your life meaning,” she said.
“Well, it won’t be love, because I’ve experienced love’s dark side for too many years. I want you to know that. You are special, but I can’t ever love you, no matter how good we are together. I’m no longer capable of that emotion.”
“So you keep telling me,” she said, pretending his words didn’t hurt.
“I just want to be honest.”
“Do we always know our own truths?”
“Darlin’,” he whispered. “Forgive me if I sounded too harsh. It’s just that … I don’t want to hurt you by raising your expectations about something I’m incapable of. Other women have become unhappy because of the way I am.”
“You’re my family’s enemy. Why would I ever want to love you?”
Wrapping her legs around him, she held him for hours, trying to comfort the boy who’d lost so much as well as the angry man who’d gained a fortune because he’d been consumed by a fierce, if misplaced, hatred.
“My father had nothing to do with your father’s death,” she whispered. “He didn’t.”
“You have your view, and I have mine,” he said. “The important thing is that I don’t hold you responsible for your father’s sins any longer.”
“Don’t you?”
“No.”
After that, he was silent. Soon afterward he let her go and rolled onto his side.
She lay awake for hours. Where would they go from here? He had hated her family for years. Had he really let go of all those harsh feelings? Had she deluded herself into thinking he wasn’t her enemy?
What price would she pay for sleeping with a man who probably only saw her as an instrument for revenge?
Three
When Kira woke up naked in bed with Quinn, she felt unsettled and very self-conscious. Propping herself on an elbow, she watched him warily in the dim rosy half light of dawn. All her doubts returned a hundredfold.
How could she have let things go this far? How could she have risked pregnancy?
What if … No, she couldn’t be that unlucky.
Besides, it did no good to regret what had happened, she reminded herself again. If she hadn’t slept with him she would never have known such ecstasy was possible.
Now, at least, she knew. Even if it wasn’t love, it had been so great she felt an immense tenderness well up in her in spite of her renewed doubts.
He was absurdly handsome with his thick, unruly black hair falling across his brow, with his sharp cheekbones and sculpted mouth. She’d been touched when he’d shown her his vulnerability last night. Just looking at him now was enough to make her stomach flutter with fresh desire.
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