one. A governess existed somewhere between servant and family, but was a part of neither. It was a rank to which Anna was very accustomed, though. Her unique situation as Charlotte’s companion made her too educated and refined to fit in with the servants, but she never, ever, could be considered family. She belonged … nowhere.
She took a breath. ‘Congratulate me.’
At least she would not wind up alone and penniless on the London streets.
Tears threatened suddenly, so Anna rushed up the stairs to her room, which once had been a maid’s room attached to Charlotte’s bedchamber. Charlotte and her mother would still be out making calls. Anna had time to compose herself.
She removed her gloves, hat and pelisse and tossed them on a chair. She flopped down on the small cot that was her bed and covered her face with her hands.
It had been only two days ago that Lord Lawton informed her it was no longer desirable to have her act as Charlotte’s companion. She was uncertain why. Perhaps it was because she had danced with some young gentlemen at a recent party? She’d thought it would have been rude to refuse. That was, however, the last social engagement she’d attended. Charlotte had henceforth gone on her own with only the company of one or both of her parents.
She’d not frozen or become mute as everyone feared. Charlotte had conquered her timidity, as Anna always knew she could.
Anna’s days as companion had always been numbered. Charlotte was expected to make an excellent match and marry well. When that time came, Anna’s place in Charlotte’s life would have been lost. Anna had always assumed she’d return to Lawton House when Charlotte no longer needed her. She thought some useful role would be found for her. Lord Lawton, however, made it very clear he and Lady Lawton were terminating her services altogether.
What had she done to displease them so?
She’d never expected nor aspired to their affection, but she’d expected to be treated as a loyal servant.
At least Lord Lawton had troubled himself enough to arrange the interview with Lord Brentmore. For that she should be grateful. Instead her emotions were consumed with the idea of losing the only home she’d ever known and being separated from all she knew and cared about. Her mother. Her father.
Charlotte.
Especially Charlotte. She was closer to Charlotte than to anyone else, even her mother.
Her chin trembled.
She put her fist to her mouth and fought for control of her emotions.
This was not a banishment, even though that was precisely how it felt. It was a natural progression of change, nothing more. It had been her folly not to anticipate its possibility. She must remain strong and fearless. Being strong and fearless were precisely the qualities that had led to her becoming Charlotte’s companion in the first place, a circumstance she could never regret.
She’d told Lord Brentmore the truth when she’d said her education opened up the world for her. She could not imagine not knowing about geography, philosophy, mathematics. She’d learned Latin and French. Painting. Dancing. Needlework. There was no end to all the wonderful things she’d learned at Charlotte’s side. No matter what happened to her, no one could ever take away all she’d learned.
She sat up and thrust her unhappiness aside. How bad could it be to become a governess to two small children in a country house that was very likely similar to Lawton House? And as a governess, she would have an excuse to continue to study and read.
The door to Charlotte’s bedchamber opened. ‘Anna?’
Anna rose from her bed and walked to the doorway that separated her little room from Charlotte’s. ‘I am here.’ She smiled at this young woman with whom she felt as close as a sister. ‘How were your calls?’
Charlotte grinned, showing the pretty dimple in her cheek. ‘Very tolerable. I made myself join the conversation and soon I was not even thinking about it.’
Anna crossed the room and gave her a hug. ‘That is marvellous. Did you also enjoy yourself?’
Charlotte nodded, her blonde curls bobbing. ‘I did! Very much.’ She pulled Anna over to the chairs by the window. ‘But you must tell me about your interview!’
Anna sobered. ‘I am hired. I start within a week.’
Charlotte jumped out of her chair, looking stricken. ‘No!’
‘It is true.’ Anna watched Charlotte sit again. ‘But it is a good thing, Charlotte.’
Lines of worry creased Charlotte’s brow. ‘Maybe you should not take the first position offered you. I’ve heard things. People talk as if there is something wrong about Lord Brentmore. Something about his past.’
‘It does not matter.’ Anna took her hands. ‘I cannot afford to refuse. I have nothing to recommend me. I am very fortunate the marquess agreed to hire me.’
‘Why did he hire you, then?’ Her tone turned petulant. ‘If you have nothing to recommend you?’
‘I believe he was in urgent need of a governess.’ She squeezed her friend’s hands.
Charlotte lips pursed. ‘You sound as if you met the man.’
‘It was he who interviewed me.’
Charlotte’s eyes grew wide. ‘What was he like? Was he as grand as a marquess should be?’
The image of the panther, restless and dangerous, returned. ‘He was formidable, but I doubt I shall have to encounter him much. I will be at Brentmore Hall with his children.’
‘So far away?’ Charlotte cried.
Far away from all she knew.
Charlotte’s lip trembled. ‘I am telling Mama I will refuse all invitations. I’m going to spend every second of this week with you. It is all we have left!’
The prospect of being separated from Charlotte tore Anna apart inside. This bond between the two of them, borne of sharing a childhood together, was about to be shattered. They could never again be together like they had been before.
Not even for this last week.
Chapter Two
Only three days later Anna was again riding in Lord Brentmore’s carriage, this time travelling alone to Essex, a long day’s ride from London.
The countryside and villages passed before her eyes, becoming indistinguishable as the day wore on. From one blink of an eye to the next, her life had changed and each mile brought her closer to something new and unknown. With each bump in the road, she fought a rabble of butterflies in her stomach.
‘This is an adventure,’ she said out loud. ‘An adventure.’
Such an adventure would test her mettle, certainly. She’d often acted braver than she felt, because that was what was expected of her as Charlotte’s companion. She must do so again here. At Charlotte’s side she’d tackled each new lesson, mastered each new skill. This should be no different.
