turned away from the mirror to make her way to the living room. That was the trouble with knowing Sean so well, she mused. She’d sensed his panic at once. And he’d been so pitifully obvious in his attempt to put things back to normal between them. She’d almost laughed aloud. And probably would have if it hadn’t hurt quite so much.
Plumping up one of the big throw pillows on the couch, she hugged it to herself for a moment. No question about it, Katie girl, kissing Sean was definitely a mistake. And one she’d be wise not to repeat.
Sean was her best friend. And she’d sooner walk barefoot through broken glass than humiliate them both by reading anything into that kiss. No way did she want to jeopardize their friendship. It was too important to her. He was too important.
So tonight she would share his pizza, reassure him that one teensy kiss, no matter how steamy, didn’t mean a thing. Sean could go back to the Heather Harrison goddesses he preferred, and she…well, she’d deep-six all these yearnings that kiss had stirred inside her.
After flipping on a Leann Rimes CD, she set about lighting the candles scattered around the room. Her thoughts drifted back to her thirtieth birthday and her painful selfassessment. She’d finally faced the fact that she attracted men who were snakes—men who were incapable of making a commitment. A genetic flaw, no doubt, rooted in her foolish quest for a nonexistent Prince Charming. The admission had been brutal, but she’d done the smart thing—ditched her quest for a fairy-tale prince. No more searching and waiting for some white knight to fulfill her dreams. But the one thing she just hadn’t been able to let go of was her dream to have a baby.
Mercy, how she ached for a baby of her own to love. As long as she could remember, she’d looked forward to being a mother. It was the reason she’d gone into child care and worked at the nursery. She loved holding the little ones, loving them, caring for them, and she hated letting them go at the end of the day. She wanted a baby of her owna child to cradle in her arms, to laugh with and sing to, to give all the love bursting inside her. She’d be a good mother, she promised herself. Her baby would never doubt for an instant that she loved him or her. And despite what Sean thought, her plan made perfect sense. Too bad she couldn’t ask Sean to be the father. That would be perfect.
The sharp knock pulled Katie from her musings. Plastering a smile on her face, she opened the door. And as it always did when she was near Sean, her pulse picked up speed. He still wore the same faded jeans. The sleeves of his denim shirt had been rolled up to the elbows, displaying hard muscles bronzed by the sun. His black hair looked as though he’d rammed his fingers through it one time too many. But it was the turmoil in those blue eyes that made her heart kick. “Ah, the pizza man,” she said, striving to be light.
“I’m sorry about the kiss.”
So much for light, Katie thought with a sigh. “Okay,” she replied and peeked inside the box. “You really did get anchovies.” Taking the pizza from him, she started for the kitchen.
“I was out of line today, and I’m sorry,” he told her as he followed her into the kitchen.
“All right,” she acknowledged, as she set down the pizza, lifted the lid again and sniffed. “Hmm. This smells delicious, and I’m starved.” She opened a drawer and pulled out a handful of napkins. “You want to get the plates?”
“It was a mistake,” he told her, sounding anxious. He grabbed two plates from the cabinet, placed them on the white wooden table. “It never should have happened.”
“Whatever you say.” She poured a glass of milk for herself and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator for him. “You want a mug?”
He snatched the milk and beer from her hands and set them down with a clunk. “Damn it, Katie. Have you heard a word I’ve said?”
“Every single one,” she assured him. And each one had been a swipe to her heart. “You were out of line to kiss me. It was a mistake. It should never have happened, and you’re sorry. That about cover it?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Now, do you mind if we eat before the pizza gets cold?”
“Would you forget about the blasted pizza? I’m trying to apologize.”
Katie sighed. “All right, Sean. Go ahead. Apologize.”
“I’m sorry I took advantage of you today. I don’t know what got into me.what I was thinking, to make a pass at you the way I did.” Emotions swam in his eyes like a brewing storm. He jutted out his chin. “If you want to take a swing at me, go ahead. I deserve it.”
She couldn’t help herself. Katie laughed. The foolish man was really beating himself up over that kiss.
“I’m glad you find this amusing. I don’t make a habit of forcing myself on a woman, or…or of taking advantage of one when she’s vulnerable.”
“Is that what you think happened?” she asked, temper sparking, not only because he was apologizing for kissing her, but because he thought she was some twit. “You think I’m some weak, simpering female who couldn’t stop you from kissing me if I’d wanted to?”
“I think—”
“Well, think again, Fitzpatrick.” She poked him in the chest with her finger. “I am not one of your big-chested Cupie Dolls. You may have kissed me, but I kissed you back. You didn’t take anything from me that I didn’t want to give. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Good. Now can we eat before this pizza turns to ice?”
“By all means. Eat. Maybe food will improve that sweet disposition of yours. Anyone ever tell you, you’ve got a nasty temper, Malloy?”
“I believe you’ve mentioned it a time or two.” She brushed past him, flipped open the pizza box and dished out slices onto the plates. Sean said nothing as he took the seat across from her. But she could feel him watching her as they ate in silence. His assessing glances licked along her nerves. Finally, when she could stand it no longer, she dropped her pizza onto the plate. “All right. Out with it.”
“What?” He reached for another slice of pizza.
“Don’t give me that choirboy look, Fitzpatrick. I’ve known you too long to fall for it. Just spit out whatever it is that’s got you sizing me up like a piece of evidence in one of your investigations.”
He smiled. Slowly. Seductively. In a way that made her throat go dry. “I was just thinking about what you said. You know, how I didn’t take anything that you didn’t want to give?”
She narrowed her eyes. “So?”
“So, I couldn’t help wondering.” His gaze dropped to her mouth, and Katie’s heart started to gallop. “I was wondering if you provoked me deliberately this afternoon so I would kiss you.”
“I provoked you?”
“Uh-huh. With all that crazy talk about needing me to help you find someone to get you pregnant.”
“There’s nothing crazy about it. And it wasn’t just talk. I intend to get pregnant. As for needing you to find me someone, I don’t. I’ve already got three candidates. It’s simply a matter of choosing the right one.” She snitched a piece of bell pepper from his pizza and popped it into her mouth. “And I don’t need you to do the investigations for me, either, because
