did, perching on the edge of the mattress as if she were a bird gingerly landing on a live electrical wire. “Do you want anything, honey? Can I get you something?”
“Time,” he said, finding a smile for her. “Give me more time, Lily.”
“We’ll have time, honey. We will.” She picked up his hand and held it gently between her own, as if she could somehow transfer her health, her vitality, to him.
Sunlight splashed across the big room and backlit Lily until her dark hair looked gilded. A strong woman, Lily. She’d been through a lot in her life and she’d never been broken. She’d faced up to tough situations and stood her ground. Yet now she was deliberately trying to pretend that the end wasn’t staring them in the face.
And he’d gone along for the most part. He was tempted to continue to play the game they’d somehow slipped into. To keep pretending that this was nothing more than a bad case of flu. That he’d be back walking the land in a week or two.
God knew, pretense was more comforting than truth. But there were a few things he needed to say to her, while he still could.
“Lily, honey…”
As if she could read his mind, she shook her head. “No, don’t you start telling me goodbye, Ryan Fortune. Because I don’t want to hear it. You’re not going anywhere. You’re not going to leave me. I won’t allow it. You’ll stay right here until I say different. You understand me?”
He chuckled, and the sensation rippled through his aching body like a fever. “You always were a bossy woman.”
She sniffed, surreptitiously wiped her eyes with her fingertips, then smiled. “And you always were a smooth talker.”
God, he’d loved her most of his life. Those dark, exotic eyes of hers. That smooth, caramel-colored skin, the thick, heavy black hair. The smile that lit up something inside him as if it were New Year’s Eve in Times Square.
How hard it was to let her go.
“I want you to remember, always,” he said, keeping his gaze locked with hers, “how much I love you.”
She sucked in a gulp of air. “I know.”
He nodded briefly. “Emmett’s going to keep an eye on Linda, so don’t you worry there.”
“Yes, Ryan.”
He smiled again. “I must really be sick for you to agree with me so easily.”
“Damn you, Ryan, you’re making me cry again.”
He paid no attention. “And you make sure you get the children to help you out around here when I’m gone.”
“You’re not going any—”
“Lily, it’s time to stop lying.”
“I like the lies better,” she admitted.
He gave her a half smile. “Hell, girl, so do I. But even I can’t hold off death.”
“You could if you tried. Damn it, Ryan, you’re the most stubborn, hardheaded, just plain cussedly determined man I’ve ever known,” she said, leaning down until her mouth was just a breath away from his. “Fight this. For me. For us.”
He gave her hand a squeeze, no more than a touch of his flesh to hers. “I’m tired, Lily. I don’t want to leave you, but I’m tired.”
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