as anything other than a paid employee. Sighing, she squinted against the setting sun and promised to buy herself a pair of funky sunglasses on her next trip to town.
Having had a whole, rare uninterrupted day, Hawk was surprised how difficult it had been to concentrate in all that solitude. After an hour or two of truly productive work, he found himself actually turning on the television set just to have the comfort of its droning noise in the background. Though a poor substitute for the sound of his children’s chatter, it was notably better than the silence for which he had so foolishly been longing. At odd times he would look up from his computer screen as if straining to catch pieces of conversation between his absent children and their new nanny. He had purposely positioned his desk against a blank wall so as to minimize distractions, but after a miserable lunch of potato chips and pop, decided to move it next to the window so as to have a better view of the backyard. Images of Ella casually dressed in cutoffs came unbidden to him throughout the day, disrupting his concentration and his peace of mind. He certainly hoped she took part of her advance paycheck and invested in more suitable attire.
Hawk became so bored and lonely that he actually sought out Hissy Face’s dubious company as comfort. He received a nasty scratch on his arm for his efforts. He wasn’t sure why he secretly liked the cursed animal—other than the fact that he felt somehow connected to a fellow creature who desperately wanted to be loved but was afraid of allowing anyone to do so.
By the time his dust-covered BMW sports car pulled into the driveway later that evening, Hawk was unaccountably irritated by the sight of three sunburned beauties bearing cold burritos and exciting tales of the day’s adventures. Despite Ella’s assurances that she was perfectly capable of bringing in the groceries herself, he allowed her to carry only a couple of smaller bags. She offered to heat up Hawk’s dinner in the microwave while the children filled him in on all the details of their day.
As excited as they were, one would have thought they’d just returned from an amusement park instead of a jaunt into town. It had been a long time since his children had displayed such enthusiasm for sharing much of anything with Hawk, and he was happy to take advantage of the opportunity to get close to them. He couldn’t shake the feeling that they somehow distrusted him after their mother’s death. Not that they blamed him for her demise or anything so sinister, it was just that it seemed a stranger had waltzed into their lives trying to take their mother’s place. And doing an abysmal job of it.
Hawk deeply regretted the way he had so neatly compartmentalized his life before Lauren’s death. That was as much her choice as it had been his. Still, that knowledge was of little solace to a man trying to piece his life back together like some gigantic three dimensional puzzle strewn over years of mistakes. Though not a particularly warm woman, Lauren had loved her children in her own way, setting them up to have the best of everything from designer clothing to prestigious preschools. Her insistence that Hawk’s primary obligation to his family was to provide them an income adequate to support her considerable tastes was something that had caused him a good deal of emotional turmoil in the past as well as the present.
Lauren had been from the kind of old and, unfortunately, dwindling money lines that understood children were to be molded into a commodity to advance one’s standing in society. To her credit, she had done an admirable job sorting Billy and Sarah into fashionably regimented activities that ensured they caused their parents as little trouble as possible. At the time of her death she had been determined that their children would attend one of the most touted boarding schools available.
That Hawk had hired a nanny who not only played with them but also encouraged them to get dirty would have surely horrified his elegant wife. As would Ella’s choice of casual attire and the unabashed exuberance with which she attacked each day. Hawk smiled. Because she was quite the opposite of his departed wife, his parents would love Ella. In the brief time the children had spent with their grandparents while Hawk was getting his life in order, they had begun shedding layers of inhibition. Like Ella, his parents didn’t prescribe to Lauren’s “children should be seen but not heard” philosophy.
As tempting as it would have been to leave Billy and Sarah in their grandparents’ care indefinitely, Hawk didn’t want to strain their failing health any more than absolutely necessary. Besides, he truly wanted to be part of his children’s life. Sadly, ever since he’d uprooted them and transplanted them to the Wyoming backcountry, where he himself had grown up so long ago, he’d gotten the feeling that they’d rather be anywhere but with him on a full-time basis. Perhaps they had simply become far too comfortable with the good-time dad image he’d portrayed for so long—that of the absent father who showed up between mergers to shower them with gifts, hoping to make up for the time he couldn’t afford to give them. Such tactics had extracted a heavy toll on his marriage as well as on Hawk’s relationship with his children. There was so much he regretted, so much he blamed on himself alone.
“Anyone up for a Candy Land game?” Ella asked, carrying a huge bowl of freshly popped buttered popcorn into the room along with a platter of reheated burritos for Hawk.
Immediately the children began clearing a space at the table. Famished, Hawk dug in.
“May I play?” he asked, halfway through his first burrito.
Startled by the request, the children looked at him as if he were a complete stranger to them.
“Certainly,” Ella interjected into the noticeable silence. “But I have to warn you, I am the Candy Land champion of the world.”
The children booed, promising to best both of the adults present. Ella was pleased that Hawk had asked to join in. She found him to be surprisingly patient in playing the child-centered board game. He really had a nice smile when he used it. Something about the curve of those sensuous lips made her go quite soft inside, and she quickly bent her head over the game when Hawk caught her gawking at him.
Ella was impressed by the fact that he was trying so hard to connect with his children. Her mother maintained that Ella’s father had been a magician. When she told him that she was pregnant, he disappeared. Ella had to admire a man who cared enough to stick around and see his children through the tough times. She found herself wondering if it wasn’t so much that William Fawson Hawk III was aloof, as he was simply ill at ease in the role in which fate had cast him. She wondered if his gorgeous wife had ever included him in such simple pastimes. The thought of the four of them nestled in front of a roaring fire made Ella’s stomach twist. Doing her best to dismiss the fear that she would never find such cozy contentment in a relationship, Ella turned over a card that allowed her to skip way ahead in the game.
Throwing a wink in Hawk’s direction, she said, “I told you I was lucky.”
A flicker of something dangerous danced in slate-colored eyes. “I think we’re the lucky ones,” he told her.
Ella cursed herself for blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“You are very lucky to have each other,” she said, meaning it.
Despite her efforts to lose to one of the younger players, Ella was the undisputed winner of the evening. The children scampered off to brush their teeth as the grownups promised to put away the game. As she was clearing the board, her hand inadvertently brushed against Hawk’s. She flinched as if she had just been shocked by a stun gun. The tingling in her hand extended all the way up her arm, settling deep inside her in the most private places.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте
