a week for a bath, then,” he told her, then frowned as he noted her silence and the quick bowing of her head. “What is it, Jessica? What did I say?”
“My parents washed their hands of me when I married Lyle,” she admitted. “Well, not actually right then, but later, when he’d stolen from my father’s company.” She looked up at Finn, hoping he would understand why she’d chosen Lyle over the mother and father who had loved her so.
“I’d promised to stay with him, for better or worse,” she said finally.
“And it only got worse, didn’t it?” His mouth had lost all traces of his usual good humor during their exchange and his eyes seemed to lose the sparkle she was wont to see in their depths. His hands touched hers and the bowl she held was lowered to sit on the ground at her feet, leaving her fingers free to twine with his.
“I’ve tried, especially on this trip, not to let others know how bad it was,” she said with a sigh.
“Most of those who traveled nearby your wagon knew you were being abused during the last weeks,” Finn told her, and she swallowed a protest. As though he read her mind, he nodded, a firm movement of his head. “There was no hiding the way he spoke to you, Jessica. And more than once you wore bruises.
“It was all I could do not to shoot him myself,” he admitted. “Jonas told me to stay out of it, that if you wanted help, then it would be time enough to interfere.”
“Lyle was difficult,” she said, looking down to where Finn clasped her hands in a grip so firm she thought she might never be turned loose from his hold. “You can let go of me,” she told him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Not without me, anyway,” he said fervently. “From now on you’ll be mine to protect, Jess.”
“I haven’t said—”
“Look at me,” he said, cutting off her words with a wave of his hand. And then as if he saw something in her expression that made him hesitate, he only smiled. “Later on,” he said quietly. “We’ll talk after a while, when we’ve eaten and taken care of the bath detail down at the stream.”
She nodded, willing to set aside their discussion. Pewter bowls from the keg made an appearance within moments, and Jessica lifted the lid from the kettle a bit, peeping beneath to check on the dumplings. “I think they’re almost done,” she told him.
“I’ll wash up,” he said, reaching for the basin that hung on a hook beneath her wagon. “There’s fresh water on the water wagon, Jess. I’ll pour some in your barrel.”
She nodded, shooting him a smile of thanks. “All right. I’m beginning to run low.”
“We’ll fill all the barrels in the morning. Jonas said there’ll be time for the ladies to do their washing before we head out again and cross the stream. We’ll go upstream and make sure we dip clean water while the women get lines strung and scrub their clothes. We may be here for another full day.”
She sighed in anticipation of a day spent doing the small bits and pieces of household chores that would allow her to stay in one place, and then volunteered a bit of help in his direction.
“You’re doing so much for me, Finn. Let me do your washing tomorrow, why don’t you?” she offered. “It’s the least I can do in return for your hard work on my behalf.” He considered her for a moment, then nodded agreement before he turned away.
Her gaze remained on him as he headed for the water wagon, heard the murmur of his voice as he spoke to someone while he poured water from a bucket into her basin, and then watched as he returned. The man moved with a natural grace, she thought, his stride long, his shoulders wide, and his body lean and honed.
For so long a time she’d made certain not to look at another man, lest she set Lyle into a temper tantrum. It was no wonder she’d paid no attention to Finn during the early weeks of the trip west. Her instincts were for self-preservation, and one glance from her eyes toward anyone wearing trousers was all the excuse Lyle would have needed to punish her for her lapse.
Now, she thought with a sense of freedom, she could look at Finn Carson all she pleased. And it did please her, she admitted to herself. She had the right to pick and choose who she would speak with, the privilege of walking beside another woman, passing the time of day, should that be her inclination.
She turned back to the fire and lifted the lid of the kettle with a folded towel, setting it aside with care, lest she burn herself. Her large serving spoon held a dumpling and over-flowed with gravy and meat as she turned it out into a bowl. Another scoop of the spoon added a potato, bits of onion and more gravy.
“Looks good,” Finn said, standing at her elbow, waiting to take the bowl from her.
He sat by the fire and watched her as she served the second bowlful and then joined him, easing to the ground with care, accepting his hand for balance as she settled beside him.
They ate in silence, broken only when Finn rose to serve himself another bowlful of the stew and offered her seconds. She shook her head, and he nodded, settling down beside her again, only to nudge her with his elbow as he pointed to where two little boys ran back and forth, chasing a dog between the wagons.
“I’ve always wanted a dog,” she said as she scooped up the final bite from her bowl. “Lyle said they weren’t worth the food it takes to keep them alive.”
“I’ll get one for you if you like,” Finn told her. “But probably not until we get to the end of this trip. Hell, you can have two of ’em, if it’ll make you happy, Jess.”
She laughed aloud in delight, and then quickly placed her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. “I can’t believe I did that,” she whispered. “I’m supposed to be in mourning, Finn. One day a widow and already I’m carrying on as if I’d never been married. Let alone the fact that I’m to have a child.” She smiled at him. “If you can get a pup, I’d appreciate it. And I’ll try to be more circumspect in my behavior. No more cutting up and carrying on.”
She felt the same weightless sensation she’d noticed earlier. “It’s almost as if I’m set free, Finn. As if the bars have been removed and I’m no longer a prisoner.”
“Well, you’ve about got that right,” he told her flatly. “After what you put up with, no one would blame you if you had spit on the man’s grave.”
“Oh, I doubt that would have gone over very well,” she said quietly. “There are a couple of the ladies who don’t seem to approve of me. Even at the graveside, one gave me a long look and sniffed, as if I smelled really bad.” Her eyes sought his, and she felt the old sense of loneliness creep closer as she spoke words that saddened her yet filled her with a new resolve. “I think they’d like to see me leave the train at Council Grove.”
Finn snorted and shook his head. “A pretty woman is always vulnerable to gossip,” he said. “And you’re the prettiest female around. Some women can’t help but keep a tight rein on their menfolk. Maybe they think you’re a threat to them.” He shot her a quick look. “And then there’s the single men, most of them needy—some of them really looking for a wife. Why do you suppose the vultures are circling? We’re all hoping you’ll give one of us the nod.”
“Is that so?” She took his bowl and stacked it in hers, then rose to clear up the remains of their supper.
He
