mother. Or maybe she was simply too embarrassed to return home.
Her chin jutted out once again. “I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m perfectly capable of caring for myself and my baby.”
“But, then, why marry me?” he prodded. “Why would you want a loveless marriage?”
Her solid stare gave him a glimpse into her soul, a glimpse into dark and troubled waters. Part of him wanted to turn away. But another part of him, a nobler part, wanted to go to her.
“I wasn’t out husband-hunting. In fact, I’d accepted the fact that I was going to be a single mom. Then I met you. Your reasons for wanting a wife made me start thinking. I want a family for my baby,” she said, honesty ringing clearly in her voice. “I don’t want my baby to grow up like—”
She broke off and glanced away. Her throat worked up and down for a moment as she wrestled with an inner demon. Cole had an urge to touch her, to comfort and console, but he resisted, not understanding the sudden need inside himself, and definitely not wanting any part of it.
When Elise had suppressed her out-of-control emotions, she added, “I want my baby to have both a mother and a father. A real home. Much like yourself, the way you want two parents for Haley.”
Her gaze shifted away from Cole, from his intense stare that seemed to see right through her. She looked out the window. The peaceful quality she’d felt while driving onto his ranch had long since disappeared. Her nerves stretched tight as if they might snap at any moment. She knew Cole was the reason. She sensed his disapproval, his resistance. More than that, she realized she wanted this—his family, this home and Cole—more than anything. For her baby, of course.
She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. “I want my child to have a place to call his or her own. Roots that will help him or her to grow strong, confident and secure.”
Her insides quaked. Had she said too much, revealed too much? She felt as vulnerable as if she stood before Cole naked, bare to his inspection, for him to see her flaws, mistakes, regrets and all. For him to judge her worthy or not.
“I see,” he said after a lengthy, awkward pause.
“And you think I’d be a good father?”
“Yes,” she said, meeting his gaze directly. Of that she felt certain. Her voice remained solid, without wavering, without doubts. Not that it made any sense, but she’d seen that special glow in his eyes when he’d spoken of his daughter. She’d heard his friends and neighbors talk about him with respect. But mostly because he’d do anything for his daughter’s sake, including marrying a woman he didn’t love. She understood that kind of sacrificial love. It was rare. And precious.
“How do you know? You haven’t seen me with Haley.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I might be a horrible father. For her. For your baby.”
Her breath caught in her throat. She knew what he was really saying. She felt as if she was on a roller coaster zooming down the last steep decline. “A horrible father wouldn’t worry if his daughter was happy or not. Wouldn’t set aside his ego, pride and desire to stay single when he realized his daughter needed a mother, too.” She took a shaky breath. “If you were a horrible father, then you wouldn’t have beamed when you spoke of your daughter.”
A tremor started in her chest and spread to her limbs. She understood the doubts he’d expressed weren’t about his ability to father, but about her ability to mother. She couldn’t prove herself to him. Just like she hadn’t been able to prove to the couples looking to adopt that she’d be a perfect match for their family. Feeling a sudden weight press against her chest, she grabbed her purse and stood, making the chair clatter behind her.
“Obviously you’re not interested in marrying me.” Anger and humiliation warred inside her. “I understand. Adding another child to the equation wasn’t in your plans. So I thank you for your time, Cole. I’ll be seeing you around town.”
Forcing herself to walk and not run, she headed out of his house…away from the life she’d always dreamed of.
Dumbfounded, Cole watched her leave, unable to sort through his jumbled thoughts and form a response. Her words punched a hole through his doubts. He hoped he was a good father. He wanted to be. For Haley’s sake. God, he’d tried. But he feared he would fail, as he’d failed in his marriage.
Elise had misunderstood him. He’d never thought of himself as a candidate for Father of the Year. He simply did what was necessary for his daughter, what he thought was best. Sometimes he’d been wrong. But in this case, in deciding to find Haley a mother, he knew as sure as lightning followed thunder that he’d made the right decision.
But was Elise the right woman for their family?
One thing he knew for certain—he wasn’t ready for her to go. He hadn’t made a decision. He didn’t know what to do. Hell, he wasn’t sure about every aspect of this crazy scheme he’d concocted. But he couldn’t let her walk out, not like this. Racing to beat her to the front door, he called her name.
She faced him once more. “Good luck with your search for the perfect wife and mother.”
With red-rimmed eyes and a determined jaw, she yanked open the front door.
“Wait, Elise!” Cole reached out and put a hand on her elbow. A frisson of electricity shocked him, scolded him for touching her again. But he realized in that instant that he wanted to draw her close and pull her against him. It made no sense, and he ignored the strange need. Carefully, he turned her to face him.
Tears brimmed in her eyes, unnerving him. Her wide, expectant gaze turned him inside out. Not knowing how to repair the damage he’d caused, he asked, “What did I say?”
She shook her head and sidestepped him, breaking the contact between them. She wrapped her arms across her middle. “It’s what you didn’t say. I threw a wrench into your well-thought-out plans. If you want to say no, then say it. Don’t make excuses. I can take it.”
“I didn’t mean it as a rejection of you.” He cupped both her elbows in his hands, pulled her closer. So close that he could smell her light perfume that seemed both to fog his head and sharpen his senses at once. “The thought of being a father again, to another baby, is scary.”
“Or is it that you don’t want to become a father to a baby who isn’t yours?”
“It’s definitely a consideration. It’s a huge commitment.”
“And marriage isn’t?”
A wisp of a smile softened his stiff lips. “You’re right. Maybe I thought it would be easier. I don’t know.”
Her gaze softened, and her features relaxed. “Where did you get the idea?”
He ran his fingers roughly through his hair and sucked in a breath. “My great-great-grandfather had a mail-order bride. Of course, I know it was during the eighteen hundreds. But they built the Double Heart Ranch together, had a huge family.” He shrugged. “I figured love had failed for me during my first marriage, maybe something else might work better.”
He stepped away, needing breathing room. Elise’s understanding gaze unnerved him. He drew a thin stream of air into his tight lungs.
“Then, what is…”
