by him. That beautiful mouth, doing all sorts of lovely things…’ She gave a blissful shiver. ‘Ooh.’
Natalie didn’t need to imagine. She knew exactly what it was like to be kissed by him. How Kit’s lips could elicit a response from hers. How his mouth could move from teasing to passion within a second, as heat flared between them. How his mouth had taken her to paradise and back.
She gritted her teeth, trying to push the memories back where they belonged—in the past. She and Kit were over. Over. Remembering stuff like this was pointless.
‘I’ve got a friend who worked in his last hospital,’ Fran continued. ‘The nurses were falling over themselves to ask him out. He’d go on most of the staff nights out—he was always a good sport—but he never actually dated anyone. Turned down every single offer.’ She looked thoughtful. ‘Gina from the emergency department asked him out for a drink the other night. He turned her down—and considering Gina only has to click her fingers and men come running, panting…’
Kit didn’t date? But…Natalie damped down the little flicker of hope. No. Absolutely not. She didn’t want to start thinking about the reasons why Kit didn’t date. Or her own reaction to the news that maybe, just maybe, Kit was still single, too.
If she told them she knew he wasn’t gay, she’d have to explain. Which she didn’t want to do. But she didn’t want them getting the wrong idea about Kit either. ‘Maybe he’s just concentrating on his career.’
‘The way you do, you mean? No, I’m pretty sure it’s not that.’ Fran shook her head mournfully. ‘And it’s not because he’s an adoring husband because he’s not married, either.’
Ruth nodded. ‘I reckon he’s just not interested in women. I mean, he notices things like shoes.’
‘She’s right, you know,’ Fran said with a sigh. ‘Only gay men notice things like shoes, don’t they? Straight men don’t think about what you’re wearing, they think about how to get it off you.’
Natalie couldn’t help smiling, but inside she ached. Of course Kit noticed shoes: once upon a time, Natalie had been a major shoe fiend and hadn’t been able to pass a shoe shop without drooling over high heels in outrageous colours. Kit had bought them for her, even when they hadn’t really been able to afford it.
And the day she’d discovered she was pregnant, she’d bought a tiny pair of white satin pram shoes. Had wrapped them up and given them to him. And when he’d worked it out, he’d picked her up and spun her round and—
‘Hello? Earth to Natalie?’ Fran said, waving one hand in front of her face and proffering a mug of coffee with the other.
She took the coffee with a rueful smile. ‘Thanks, Fran. Sorry. I was miles away.’
‘Natalie’s definitely not your average woman,’ Ruth informed Fran with a grin. ‘She actually glazes over at the mention of shoes.’
Ah, but she understands chocolate,’ Fran said. ‘She’s one of us.’
Natalie didn’t mind the teasing. At least it got them off the subject of Kit.
But as if they’d read her mind, Fran asked, ‘He’s lovely, though—don’t you think?’
Uh-oh. This was going in a direction she really, really didn’t want to go in. Especially as she’d already learned that Fran and Ruth didn’t take no for an answer. They kept asking. If she said she didn’t think Kit was lovely, they’d want to know why. And she’d end up admitting that she used to be married to him. And why they’d split up. And Natalie really didn’t want her past dragged up and discussed on the hospital grapevine. ‘Handsome is as handsome does,’ she said with a shrug.
Kit had been about to walk into the staffroom and grab a coffee when he heard the subject of the conversation.
The nurses on the ward thought he was gay?
Some joke. He’d never been remotely attracted to another man, and he still appreciated pretty women. He just didn’t do relationships any more. There was no point, not since he’d lost the love of his life.
The woman who’d just walked back into his life—but had made it very clear that she didn’t want to resume where they’d left off. They were barely even friends now. Such a waste, when he remembered what they’d once been to each other.
Handsome is as handsome does.
The scorn that had gone into that remark. OK, so Natalie had good reason to feel that way. He’d let her down in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time. And he hadn’t tried hard enough to save the remnants of their marriage, because he’d been focusing on keeping himself together. Burying himself in work, keeping himself so busy that he hadn’t had time to hurt. Hadn’t gone under. And he hadn’t paid enough attention to what was happening to her.
But, oh, that comment rankled. Natalie thought he was shallow?
Maybe, just maybe, he shouldbe shallow. Accept all the offers thrown at him. Have wild sex with a different woman every night.
Except that wasn’t who he was. Wasn’t what he wanted.
As for what he did want…He was just beginning to work out what that was. And it simply wasn’t an option.
He turned on his heel and headed back towards his office.
ALL those years since the divorce, Natalie had managed not to think of Kit. Not to wish. But now, having to work with him and seeing him every day…It brought it all back. How much she’d loved him. How right it had felt to be in his arms. How her world had collapsed in on itself when she’d realised she’d lost him.
Ah, hell. She had to get over this—and she had to keep working here with him for the next six months, or it’d look as if she couldn’t handle her first job as a doctor. As if she wasn’t reliable. ‘Personal reasons’ wasn’t a good enough reason to give up the post. It’d make future consultants chary of offering her a post on their ward in case she only lasted a couple of weeks there, too.
She’d worked too damned hard for this. She had to stick it out.
And she was determined to get Kit Rodgers out of her system. Once and for all.
So, for the next month, Natalie managed to keep herself under control. She worked hard, had an occasional evening out with her colleagues—once she’d made sure that Kit wasn’t going to be there—and was really settling in.
Until the night of the ward’s Hallowe’en fundraiser.
She’d tried to get out of it. ‘I’ll buy a ticket, sure, but I’ll be on duty.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Fran said. ‘I’ve already checked. You’re on an early that day. And even if you were on a late…’ the look she threw Natalie said that she knew Natalie was perfectly capable of changing her duty if she thought it would get her out of the party ‘…you’d still catch the last three hours of it. So you’re going. No arguments.’
‘But—’
