you do a damn poor job of reaching your goal.”
And then, because he truly did love her, Cruz made his own attempt to smooth things out. Maybe he hadn’t been supportive enough, but hell, he was busier than God these days. Every time he turned around, there were more bills to face, more problems to smooth out. And that didn’t even include the training. Cutting horses required a great deal of time and attention.
“Look,” he began again, “you’re pregnant. Your hormones or whatever are all over the map. Why don’t you leave Luke with one of my sisters today and take a bubble bath or something?”
As if soapy water could somehow magically change everything between them, she thought.
Well, she amended, maybe it could at that. Or at least it could help her take a stab at starting over.
Turning from the sink, she crossed to him, then smiled. “I’d like to take a bubble bath. With you.”
He felt the effects of her smile. It was like watching sunshine rise over a darkened land. “That’s too girlie.”
Another wave of nausea threatened to overtake her. Savannah concentrated on pushing it back. This was far more important. She wound her arms around her husband’s neck, playing with the dark locks of hair at his collar.
“Not if I’m in the tub with you…”
He could feel the heat from her body. The heat from his own. “Yeah, well…”
Sensing her advantage, Savannah pressed herself against him, her eyes taking him prisoner. “Like we used to, Cruz.”
“We never took a bubble bath together,” he protested, but not too vehemently.
“No,” she agreed, grinning. “But we took showers together. Don’t you remember soaping up each other’s bodies?” Her voice was soft, low. It stirred him. “Don’t you remember what it was like, Cruz, drying each other off?”
His body was rebelling, betraying him. Now wasn’t the time or the place! “Savannah, you know you’re making me crazy.”
“Am I, Cruz? Am I?” Hope lit a tiny candle in the dark center of her soul. She pressed her body against his, feeling the imprint of it along her own. Feeling him harden. She had him, she thought in heady triumph. She just needed to press her advantage. “Why don’t you take the morning off? We can drop Luke off at one of your sisters, just like you said.” She raised herself on her toes, her face turned up to his. “Spend a little time together.”
Her mouth was seductively close. Temptation leaped out at him, taking hold.
He wasn’t made out of stone and he loved his wife. From the moment she’d returned to the Double Crown Ranch, there hadn’t been another woman around who could even remotely tempt him. He didn’t want anyone else. It was as if he’d buried that part of him that had searched for answers in other women’s beds. Savannah was the only answer he’d ever wanted or needed.
But right now he was needed elsewhere, not here, giving in to his own desires.
Cruz struggled to hold himself back. He knew that if he gave in to the ever-increasing wave of desire within him, if he even kissed Savannah, he’d be sunk.
He couldn’t afford to let that happen. There was so much to do today.
Very gently, he took hold of the arms around his neck and untangled himself from her. He saw the confusion, the disappointment in her eyes and felt something twist within his gut.
But she’d been his wife for over five years now. She understood about this life they led. What was required. “Honey, I just can’t today. I’ve got five new horses coming in.”
Frustrated beyond words, she wanted to scream, to rant. For the first time in her life, she wanted to throw a full-scale tantrum. “And you have to greet them personally?”
He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off. They were back in their corners again. “Savannah, you know better than that.”
Stepping away from him, she sighed. “Yes, I know better than that.”
He couldn’t stand to see the sadness in her eyes. Allowing himself one final moment before hurrying out the door, Cruz paused to take her chin in his hand. Tilting her head back just a little, he lightly brushed his lips over hers.
“Soon,” he promised. “Just be patient a bit longer.”
“What choice do I have?” Savannah murmured, feeling dejected. She saw another endless, frustrating, lonely day stretch out in front of her. A day without Cruz. She dearly loved her son, but she needed a break from him. A break from him and time with her husband. But that wasn’t going to happen.
Her eyes met Cruz’s, willing him to stay. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” he told her. “This is all for you, you know that. For you and Luke.” Grabbing his hat, he started to leave the kitchen.
“No,” she said sadly to his back. “It’s all for you. Because I could live in a mud hut, as long as you were right there beside me.”
Wearily, Cruz spun on his heel to look at her. She was spouting romantic nonsense and he was in no mood for it. “No,” he said evenly, “you couldn’t. Because you can’t wear mud, you can’t eat mud, you can’t hand a bucket of mud to the doctor. It takes money, Savannah. Everything takes money and I’m earning it the only way I know how.” And he was getting damn tired of having to justify himself to her on top of everything else he had to do. “Go call one of my sisters. Take that bubble bath,” he instructed. “You’ll feel better.”
She said nothing as the sound of his boots receding on the wooden floor echoed through the silent house. The next moment, she heard the front door closing.
“No, I won’t,” she countered. “The only thing that will make me feel better is knowing that you’re still in love with me.”
And she had grave doubts about that. Doubts that her giving in to her heart and marrying Cruz had been the right thing to do, after all.
Maybe she had made a mistake.
She’d held out in the beginning because she hadn’t wanted what her parents had had. Theirs was a marriage forged by guilt, held together by desperation, and eventually disintegrated by mutual loathing. All because they’d set out to “do the right thing” in the beginning. Her mother had been pregnant with her when she and her father had gotten married, and not a day went by in her childhood that they allowed her to forget it. To forget that she was the reason for their misery.
She had grown up feeling responsible for generating the unhappiness of not just one person, but two. She’d also grown up vowing that when it was her turn, she was not going to marry for any other reason than love.
Everlasting love.
And when she’d looked into Cruz’s ruggedly handsome face, that was exactly what she’d felt. She’d known that she was always going to love him all the days of her life, no matter what.
But as far as being assured that he would feel the same…well, that had taken some convincing on his part. But
