born and what does anyone else’s opinion matter when you’re the centre of their world?’
‘I love them so much I pinch myself to make sure this is really happening at times, but you’re my little sister, Izzie. I couldn’t not care about you while there’s breath in my body, and, come to think of it, even if I was dead, I doubt I’d be able to stop loving you.’
‘Oh, Kate, I love you so much,’ Isabella said, feeling shaky at the very thought of losing her beloved sister. They were all trying not to dwell on the ordeal of childbirth as Kate got closer and closer to her time, but the thought of ever having to live without her beloved sister cut through Isabella’s fragile attempts to be cheerful like a grim bolt of lightning on a sunny day.
‘Then tell me the truth,’ Kate demanded relentlessly as if she knew she had an unfair advantage and was determined to use it.
Isabella avoided her eyes and tried not to think about the ridiculous mess her life was in. The truth? She didn’t even know what it was herself, so how could she tell anyone else? ‘Magnus and I found we did not suit,’ she said carefully. ‘So I had to break the engagement, since he couldn’t.’
‘And we both know a lady can change her mind if she really must, but a gentleman’s word has to be his bond. It’s quite absurd when you think about it, but you’re too passionate to be Mr Haile’s convenient wife for the next forty years because neither of you had the courage to say no before it was too late.’
‘As I’m now considered a jilt, I doubt I’ll have a chance to marry another man I respect, so we’ll probably never know. I haven’t met anyone else I would want to marry in five years on the marriage mart,’ Isabella said with her fingers crossed under her skirts.
She’d met a man she simply wanted that night at Haile Carr, but Wulf FitzDevelin wouldn’t marry her if she was the last single woman left on earth, so he didn’t count. ‘Half the eligible bachelors avoid me now and the rest find my fortune irresistible,’ she told her sister breezily. ‘I expect they think I’m desperate after whistling Magnus down the wind as if handsome and intelligent gentlemen are ten a penny.’
‘You’re ridiculously lovely and an heiress in your own right, Izzie. If you were desperate, you’d have clung to him like a limpet.’
‘I didn’t say it was logical, but at least as an old maid I’ll be spared such nonsense in future.’
‘You’re three and twenty, love, and won’t be on the shelf long,’ Kate argued with a wry smile. ‘There are a few other gentlemen with good eyesight and a modicum of sense in their handsome heads, so you don’t need to wear the willow.’
Isabella felt tears threaten at her sister’s steadfast love and loyalty, just as they had when she’d seen Kate and her husband, Edmund, stood waiting for her on the gravel carriage sweep this morning, too impatient to wait to greet their guest at the top of the wide stone steps as befitted their station as Lord and Lady Shuttleworth. Kate, Edmund and their daughter had hugged and inspected Isabella for damage, as if they were afraid she’d been broken since they saw her last. Louise Kenton, née Alstone, was the youngest sister of Miranda’s husband, Kit, Seventh Earl of Carnwood. Kit and Louise and their sister Maria were distant cousins of her and Miranda and Kate and he was probably the most reluctant lord in the House when he succeeded to the family titles, but marrying Miranda seemed to have reconciled him to it and Louise simply added Kate and Isabella to her family when her brother married their big sister and she felt like another sibling now. Isabella wasn’t quite sure she wanted Louise’s sharp eyes on her, though she was glad Louise was here for Kate during this time. At least she knew a good deal about childbirth after bearing six children since marrying Hugh.
Isabella didn’t know how Edmund convinced his wife she was too near her time to go to Derbyshire and join Kit and Miranda for the Easter festivities, but she was very glad he had. This way Kate must play hostess to as many of the family as he could assemble and what a good thing her sisters had married men who respected as well as loved them. Kit and Edmund found ingenious ways around their wives’ sore spots and stubborn streaks when an invigorating argument wasn’t advisable and that was the sort of marriage Isabella had tried to convince herself she could build with Magnus.
She felt like a fool about that delusion when she watched Edmund and Kate, and Hugh and Louise, together and realised she’d left something vital out. Magnus was a handsome and civilised gentleman with a clever mind, a dry sense of humour and a good heart, but he wasn’t the love of her life. Although she didn’t want one of those, it was probably better not to marry at all than accept less. She had spent six months at odds with herself and at the end of it found out Magnus was in love with another woman. He had offered for Isabella to silence his obnoxious father about the child he and his beloved Lady Delphine had made together and he loved her so much he’d been ready to sacrifice himself and Isabella for the sake of her precious reputation. So if she wasn’t going to risk marrying for reason again and loving a man with all of her heart was a terrifying step she refused to take into the unknown, she would do better not to marry.
‘I’m not pining for Magnus, Kate. He was the first grown-up gentleman I danced with at my come-out ball and I suppose I fooled myself into thinking we could make a good marriage out of our long friendship and mutual interests, but I was wrong. I miss him as a friend, but I won’t collapse in a tearful heap whenever you say his name.’
‘If you like him that much, maybe you should marry him anyway, since you always said you’d never wed for love,’ Kate suggested half-seriously, as if it had been wedding nerves that made Isabella call off the wedding and the whole thing might still be salvaged. Since Kate took three years to discover she loved Edmund far too much to let him marry anyone else, Isabella forgave her sister for doubting her.
‘No,’ she said firmly enough to nip any well-meant schemes to throw her and Magnus back together in the bud. ‘It would be a disaster.’
Never quite measuring up to a lover your spouse couldn’t have would make a marriage hideous. Lucky for her it was only passion on her side and not love. Still, it was probably unfair to compare every other man she met to broodingly handsome Wulf FitzDevelin and his devilishly seductive kisses one impossible night when she took a few minutes off from being cool and careful Miss Alstone.
‘You don’t think you could come to love him in time, then?’ Kate said with memories of her own slow-burning feelings dreamy in her dark blue eyes.
‘No.’
‘Then I’m glad you found out before it was too late. Edmund is my best friend, but he’s also my abiding passion and it baffles me how you thought you could settle for less. A civilised and passionless marriage could never work for you, love.’
‘You were hell-bent on making one yourself once upon a time,’ Isabella pointed out to divert her sister from this uncomfortable topic of conversation.
‘I’m not sure that’s a proper way for an unmarried lady to express herself, sister dear. And, as Edmund was the man I was determined to make it with, I had perfect taste, even if my judgement was a little clouded,’ Kate replied smugly. Isabella was certain Kate and Edmund still enjoyed the odd passionate, invigorating argument about it even now.
‘Take a lesson from me, Izzie,’ Kate persisted because she knew Izzie far better than she wanted her to, ‘marriage lasts too long for any Alstone to risk it without being in love with our spouse.’
‘Don’t upset yourself because it didn’t happen. I miss Magnus and his mother and sisters, but I’m glad we agreed to part before it was too late.’
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