the right to disrupt Hannah’s life? How would the child feel if she grew fond of him then he upped and left again? Chris had told her that Adam had an aversion to commitment, yet the one thing a child needed was stability. Claire must have known how Adam had felt all those years ago, which was why she had been so loath to tell him about Hannah. Could she really trust him not to break her precious niece’s heart?
She slid into the passenger seat and glanced at Adam as he put the car into gear, felt a little bubble of panic rise to the surface of her mind. Could she trust him not to break her own heart as well?
Now, where had that thought sprung from?
THERE WERE still a lot of parents around when they arrived at the hospital. St Jude’s had an open door policy in its children’s wards and there were few restrictions on visiting times.
Beth called in at least twice a day to see Hannah and would have gone more often if she’d had the time because she loved being with her niece. However, her footsteps slowed as they approached the doors to the ward. Adam hadn’t said a word to her on the drive to the hospital and she needed to know what he intended to do before she introduced him to Hannah.
‘Look, Adam, I know this has been a shock for you but I want you to promise me that you won’t do anything…well, hasty.’
He paused to look at her and she shivered when she caught the full force of his icy stare. ‘What you really mean is that you don’t want me to tell Hannah who I am. Isn’t that right, Beth?’
‘Yes.’ She forced herself to meet his eyes, refusing to dwell on why she felt so guilty. She had made a promise to Claire so she shouldn’t feel bad about not having told him about Hannah sooner. ‘Hannah doesn’t know anything about you. If you go in there and blurt out who you are, you’ll simply confuse her. She’s only six, Adam, and she’s been through a lot in this past year.’
‘And you really think that I don’t understand that?’ He smiled grimly when she shrugged. ‘Obviously not. After all, you know very little about me, do you, Beth? I don’t suppose you cared enough to find out. However, you can stop worrying. I think I have a bit more sensitivity than to announce to a sick child that I’m the father she never knew she had.’
She winced when she heard the anger in his voice. ‘I know this isn’t easy for you, Adam,’ she began but he curtly interrupted her.
‘Spare me the sympathy. Now, are you coming or shall I go and find Hannah by myself?’
He didn’t wait for her to reply as he pushed open the door. Beth led the way, feeling sick with nerves because she still wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this meeting. Hannah had always been shy with strangers and she’d grown even more introverted since her mother had died. Although she seemed to have accepted the nurses and doctors with whom she came into daily contact, Beth knew how quickly the little girl could clam up with someone new. Would Adam understand that and make allowances?
Beth’s nerves felt as taut as violin strings as she led the way to Hannah’s bed. The staff had tried to make the ward as child-friendly as possible by covering the walls with posters and using colourful linen on the beds rather than the regulation hospital white. However, there was no escaping from the fact that the children in there were very sick.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Adam’s head turn as they passed one child after another. Most were hooked up to drips that were pumping potent cocktails of chemicals into their small bodies. All the children in the ward had cancer in one form or another and they were treated with a vast array of drugs.
Some were designed to destroy the cancerous cells, others to protect against infection, always a major concern. Then there were the transfusions of blood and platelets they all needed at regular intervals. It could be a little overwhelming to someone visiting the ward for the first time.
‘All these kids…’ Adam took a deep breath but she could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at her. ‘I never realised that there were so many children suffering like this.’
‘It does come as a shock, even when you work in medicine,’ she agreed softly. She caught sight of Hannah and waved, feeling her nerves tighten that little bit more when she felt Adam stiffen. Without stopping to think, she caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.
‘It will be fine, you’ll see. Just don’t worry if Hannah doesn’t say much to you. She’s very shy at first with strangers.’
He winced at that and Beth could have bitten her tongue for her lack of tact. Letting go of his hand, she quickly went to the child’s bed and bent down to kiss her.
‘Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late. It was really busy tonight at the surgery and I got held up.’
She ran her hand lightly over the child’s head, feeling the prickle of stubble under her fingers. Hannah’s hair had fallen out because of the drugs she had been receiving. It would grow again once she had completed her treatment, but Beth still grieved for the loss of the beautiful black curls because they had been a symbol of the fit and healthy child that her niece had been once upon a time.
Now as she turned to Adam and caught the fleeting expression of anguish on his face she knew that he was remembering the photograph she had shown him earlier. What a shock it must be for him to compare that child with the one in the bed. Unconsciously, her tone softened.
‘Adam, I’d like you to meet Hannah. Come and say hello to her.’
She stepped aside so that he could approach the bed. He moved slowly, smiling at the child as he bent down and took her thin little hand in his large one and gravely shook it.
‘Hello, Hannah. I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you. Aunty Beth told me all about you, you see, and I asked her if I could visit you.’
Beth felt a lump come to her throat when she heard the tenderness in his voice. She realised that she was holding her breath as she waited to see how Hannah would respond.
‘Are you and Aunty Beth friends?’ Hannah asked, staring up at him with huge, curious blue eyes, eyes that were exactly the same colour as Adam’s were.
‘That’s right, sweetheart.’ He gave the child another warm smile and, surprisingly, she smiled back.
‘That’s OK, then,’ she said with a worldly wisdom that made them both laugh.
Adam glanced at Beth and she saw the relief in his eyes and knew that he had been as worried as she had been about this first meeting. Realising it, it helped to allay her fears so that she found herself able to relax. Adam wouldn’t deliberately do anything that might harm her precious niece.
‘So, what did you do this afternoon, poppet?’ she asked, moving a chair closer to the bed so that she could sit down. She was very conscious of Adam standing behind her, his arms folded across his broad chest as he listened while the little girl related everything she had done since Beth had seen her at lunchtime. When he shifted slightly, she found herself jumping nervously and had to force herself to concentrate on what Hannah was saying.
‘What sort of a picture did you draw, Hannah?’ Adam asked after Hannah had finished telling them about the lessons she had done that afternoon. The children were in hospital
