would seem indeed that, after all, my sense of honour is somewhat impaired,’ he said.
Beth’s confused mix of anger, embarrassment and a new, unexpected yearning was such that she could hardly focus to count her steps to her carriage or later traverse the gravel path to Jamie’s small office attached to the stable. The numbers swam in her head, mixed and mired with darting thoughts and seesawing emotions. It felt as though her heart still beat as loud as thunder. An unusual restless energy filled her body, combined with a hunger which was new to her.
The very contrariness of her reactions irritated her. It was not only that she was shocked by his actions. Rather, she was shocked by her own reactions and by that crazy, contrary part of her that had not wanted him to stop, that feared she would not have stopped him.
She was not a creature of emotion. Her mother and Jamie valued rational thought above all things. It was in no way rational to consummate this marriage. Indeed, had they done so, an annulment might not be possible. Even worse, she might have been with child.
Apprehension snaked through her. She knew she must not have children. She had known that since Jamie had arrived with that prize bull from across the county.
Strength begets strength, he’d said.
So why had she been prepared to put sense and reason aside? From the first moment of her marriage she had been contrary. She should have been thankful, relieved, when he’d disappeared so swiftly back to his London life. Right now, she should be offended by that kiss and furious at his liberty.
She wasn’t. Rather, she was angry that he had dropped her like a hot potato at a children’s game. He’d practically bolted to the door, bellowing for Dobson and sending her with all possible haste back to Allington—
A sudden noxious stench stopped her in her tracks. She gripped the railing which Jamie had installed, wrinkling her nose. It smelled of manure and rotting vegetation.
‘Jamie?’ she called out.
She pushed open the door to his office and heard the rustle of paper from the direction of the desk. She crossed the five steps towards it, placing her hands on the polished wood of its top.
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