have to hand in tomorrow, Alice?’
‘I’ll do it later.’
‘No, you won’t. You never do. You’ll have to get it done before you do anything else, and that includes watching television. Especially watching television.’
‘But it’s my favourite programme!’
‘It’s a load of rubbish.’
‘Mum said I could watch it.’
Alice only called Pip ‘Mum’ when she wanted to play one of the adults in her house off against the other, a habit that had formed over the last few months—ever since she had decided it was cool to call Pip by her given name.
Pip took one look at her mother’s drawn face and knew it had been the wrong button to push tonight.
‘Mum’s right. You have to get your homework done, Alice. I’ll tape the programme and we can watch it later.’
‘But I want to watch it now! I’ve been looking forward to it all day!’ Alice looked at Pip with the face of someone unexpectedly betrayed.
Shona said nothing but her lips were a tight line.
‘Please, Pip?’
It was tempting to give in to that plea and maybe negotiate a compromise, like supervising the homework being done later, but Pip could sense a disturbing undercurrent to what should have been an average family-type wrangle. Roles were being challenged.
Alice expected her support but maybe she was too used to getting her own way by pulling the ‘friends’ card out.
Shona expected her support as well. Pip was Alice’s mother after all, and maybe Shona was feeling too tired or unwell not to play the ‘mother’ card.
Pip was caught in the middle but it was perfectly clear which way she had to jump.
‘No,’ she said firmly to Alice.
‘But you said—’
‘I know what I said, but I didn’t know you hadn’t done your homework.’
‘Yes, you did! You heard—’
‘That’s enough!’ Shona’s fork hit the table with a rattle. ‘I’m sick of this.’
Alice jumped up and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind her.
‘Sorry, Mum,’ Pip said into the silence that followed. She sighed. ‘I’m not very good at the parent bit, am I?’
‘We’re getting to the difficult stage, that’s all.’ Shona echoed Pip’s sigh. ‘I’d forgotten what it was like, living with a teenager.’
‘Was I so awful?’
‘No.’ Shona smiled wearily and reached out to touch her daughter’s hair. ‘You were great.’
That touch took Pip instantly back to childhood where the gesture could have provided comfort, communicate pride or been as loving as a kiss. The love she had for her mother welled up strongly enough to bring a lump to her throat.
‘I wasn’t that great. Remember the fuss I made when you wouldn’t let me get my ears pierced? I kept it up for a week.’
‘It wasn’t your ears I minded—it was the belly-button ring you wanted.’
‘And what about that first rock concert I was determined to go to?’
‘I seem to remember you getting your own way in the end that time. Thanks to your dad.’
They were both silent for a moment. The memory of that terrible wrench when Jack Murdoch had died so suddenly was still painful. A period neither of them liked to dwell on. Pip skipped it entirely.
‘And then I got pregnant.’ She snorted softly. ‘I have no idea how you coped with that so well, Mum.’
‘When you have to cope, you do. That’s all there is to it, really.’
‘And you’re still coping. Far more than you should have to at your time of life.’ Pip couldn’t brush aside the pangs of guilt. ‘I should be taking full responsibility for Alice by now. I should have a house of my own and not make you live with all her mess and angst.’
‘And how would that help while you’re still finishing your training?’ Shona straightened visibly in her chair. ‘I wanted to do this, Pip. I still do. I want to see you settled into the career you’ve always dreamed of. Into a relationship, even.’
Pip rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, right! Just what every man my age wants—a woman who’s still living at home and relying on her mum and a package deal with an angsty teenager thrown in.’
‘Don’t judge all men on what James thought. He was an idiot.’
‘An idiot I wasted four years on at medical school. I’m in no hurry to go back there.’
‘It might have helped if you’d told him about Alice a bit earlier.’
‘Getting pregnant at sixteen isn’t something I’m proud of, Mum.’
‘Maybe not, but Alice should be,’ Shona said quietly. ‘You can be very proud of her.’
Shona’s words stayed with Pip as she tidied up after dinner. They could both be proud of their girl, but the credit had to go largely to Shona for the successful upbringing of Alice. Imagine what a disaster it would have been if it had been left entirely to her? But she was much older now. Hopefully wiser. And it was way past time she took more of the burden from Shona’s shoulders.
The silence from her daughter’s room had been deafening and, having finished her cup of tea, Pip left Shona in the living room and went and tapped on Alice’s door. It might be a good time to try and have a real ‘motherdaughter’ type talk. To start a new phase in their relationship.
‘Alice?’
There was no response.
Pip tapped again and opened the door. Alice was curled up on her bed and had her face turned away from the door.
‘Alice?’ Pip stepped closer. She could see that Alice’s arms were locked tightly around her slight body. ‘We should talk, hon.’
Alice rolled and Pip saw that her face was scrunched into lines of what looked like severe pain. Reaching to smooth the hair from her forehead, Pip felt the damp skin and then Alice groaned.
‘Oh, no!’ Pip took hold of her daughter’s wrist, knowing she would feel the tattoo of an overly rapid heart rate. ‘Is it your tummy again? Why didn’t you come and tell me?’
‘It just started.’ Alice broke into sobs. She didn’t look anything like her twelve and a half years right now. She looked like a sick frightened little girl. And along with her maturity had gone any desire for a ‘cool’ relationship with her mother. ‘It hurts, Mummy. Make it go away…please!’
‘Right.’
