I’ve already spilled the beans.’
Maybe he had. Maybe he’d just told her what he wanted her to know and kept the rest back. ‘Not much to know. Just me and my mum. We had a little house in South London.’
He nodded. ‘No brothers or sisters?’
‘No. My father left before I was born.’ Jess shrugged. ‘I don’t miss him. I can’t, I didn’t know him.’
‘Can’t you miss things that you didn’t have?’
‘I’m not sure there were any.’ She answered too quickly. Maybe even a bit defensively.
He laughed. ‘May I have your autograph?’
‘Why?’
‘I’ve never met anyone who’s had everything they ever wanted before.’
Jess nudged her shoulder against his arm. ‘Don’t be dense, Greg. There’s not much point in wanting things you’re never going to have.’
‘No. But sometimes you have to acknowledge them.’
‘Because?’
‘Because you can’t start to work on what you need, unless you acknowledge what’s missing.’
Maybe. She’d need to think about that. ‘I guess I miss knowing about him. Silly things, like whether my eyes are the same colour as his. Whether there’s anything in his medical history that I should be watching out for.’
He chuckled. ‘Always good to know. Have you any idea where he is now?’
‘In a manner of speaking. He was killed in a car accident fifteen years ago. Someone came to tell Mum.’ Jess remembered that day well enough. The stranger who’d knocked on their door, and who her mother had taken into the kitchen to talk with privately. The silence in the house, and then the sudden resumption of normal life, as if her mother had made a conscious decision to put all of that behind her and never speak of it again.
Greg’s pace slowed and he found her hand, tucking it under his arm. They fell into step together almost automatically. ‘Did anyone ever say they were sorry? For that loss?’
‘No. No one ever thought it was one.’ It was what Jess had told herself, too.
‘I’m sorry. For your loss.’
‘Thank you.’ She smiled up at him. He must have repeated that phrase any number of times in his career, but he always seemed to mean it. It came as a surprise to find how much it meant to her, too.
‘Can I ask you a question, Greg?’
‘Since when did you need permission for that?’
‘How did you feel when your mother remarried? I mean… did you mind?’
‘Mind? Well, Ted was practically living with us anyway. And we all went to Italy and had an enormous party, and I got to stay with my aunt, while they went off on honeymoon. I kissed a girl, broke my arm coming off my cousin’s motorbike and generally had a whale of a time. My mother was horrified when she got back.’
‘I bet she was. How old did you say you were?’
‘Fifteen.’
‘Hmm. My mother married when I was twenty.’
‘And?’
‘And her husband’s a really nice man. He gives her the life she’s always deserved and she’s happy with him.’
‘That’s nice. And?’
He waited. Laid his gloved hand over hers, tucking it more firmly into the crook of his arm.
‘I don’t know if I should even say it. It sounds so stupid… ’
‘Oh, go on.’ He chuckled. ‘You can’t leave me hanging now.’
Why not? He’d done the same to her. But if Jess gave a little, maybe he would. ‘It was just a bit confusing. All my life she’d been telling me that we could manage on our own, that I didn’t need a father and she didn’t need a husband. Then all of a sudden she upped and got married.’
He chuckled. ‘Must have been love.’
‘Yeah. Suppose it must have been.’ Jess wrinkled her nose.
‘Did you look that disapproving when she broke the news?’
‘No! Of course I didn’t. I’m happy for her, of course I am. I just… When I was little I used to think that it would be me who would get a great job, find somewhere nice for us to live. That I’d be the one to make sure she was comfortable.’ Jess forced a smile. ‘I’m just being silly.’
He shrugged. ‘Sounds reasonable enough to me. You know the trouble with people—families in particular, I’ve noticed—is that you have these great plans for them, how you’re going to make everything right and so on, and then they just go out and do it all on their own. It’s frustrating.’
Jess couldn’t help laughing now. ‘Is that a touch of megalomania I hear?’
‘More than a touch, I imagine. Aren’t all kids megalomaniacs? That’s what growing up does to you, makes you realise that you can’t control the world.’
‘Oh, so you’re saying that I need to grow up, are you?’ Jess suspected that she probably did.
‘Don’t you dare. Stay as you are.’ He grinned at her and quickened his pace. ‘Only perhaps you could walk just a bit faster. We’ll be late if we don’t hurry.’
Being late didn’t seem to figure much in Rosa’s household. Dinner was cooking on the range, and Greg and Jess were both kissed and seated in the warm, bright kitchen. Ted arrived, kicking the mud from his boots at the back door, and Greg rose to meet him, their handshake giving way to a hug.
‘I hear you’re a doctor.’ He accepted a glass of wine from his wife and sat down, next to Jess.
‘Yes. I’ve been specialising in cardiology for the last year.’
Ted nodded. ‘Interesting. I expect you’re at the sharp end of things, working down in London.’
‘The department’s done some groundbreaking work in the last couple of years. I’m very junior, though.’ Jess grinned. ‘But I get to watch sometimes.’
Ted laughed. ‘Best way to learn.’
‘She’s being modest,’ Greg broke in. ‘She’s a rising star in the department.’
‘A young woman with a bright future, then.’ Ted was watching her thoughtfully and Jess felt herself flush.
The meal was served and eaten and Jess was forbidden from moving when it came to clearing the plates away. Rosa and Greg busied themselves with the washing up, leaving Jess to talk to Ted. ‘Your practice must serve quite a big area. In comparison to London.’
