was he here? He hadn’t known Allen. He certainly didn’t know her. Not really. The only connection she had to John B. Tarkenton Jr. was her brother’s marriage to his sister. That marriage and her child.
His child.
Meg flinched at the thought. Sometimes she hated her penchant for honesty. It cut like a knife to remember how stupid she had been. When Allen offered to marry her and raise the child as his own, holding back the truth was a discipline she had to constantly work at to maintain. Having a kind and decent husband like Allen helped, but Katie was the one who made her strong. That’s what came from having children.
You have a God-given chance to make things right, even when you started wrong.
Meg glanced at her daughter’s dark head. The coffee-brown curls matched her own. Katie’s brown eyes matched her father’s, however, and that was the one truth Meg would carry to her grave as Allen had carried it to his. Steadfast and loyal, he’d been Katie’s father in every way that mattered. Thanks to him, Jack Tarkenton would never know he had even fathered a child. He wasn’t going to get a chance to corrupt her little girl.
Shuddering, Meg turned her attention to the minister as he delivered the final prayer. By prearranged signal, he spread his arms wide and spoke to the entire assemblage. “And now the widow and daughter of Allen Betz would like a private moment. If you would kindly exit to the left, the burial site will be opened to the public in a few minutes’ time.”
Meg squeezed Katie’s hand. “You ready, sweetie? It’s time.”
Katie looked up with her big brown eyes and nodded, her long, dark curls glinting in the late-morning sun. Such a pretty child. Such a solemn child. Allen’s death had hit her hard.
Meg led the way past the mourners spilling out onto the lawn and halted at the casket. Kneeling, she placed her hand on the polished wood surface and bowed her head. Katie imitated every move.
The sight of the small hand on the polished wood brought a lump to Meg’s throat. All her instincts, maternal and otherwise, told her this was the right thing to do. Katie needed to grieve. But that was poor comfort to a mother’s desire to shield her child’s heart.
Meg thought of Allen, gentle Allen, and her sorrow twisted into a strange type of guilt. In the three days since the car accident that took his life, she had yet to shed a tear. All she knew was that she should have loved him better. She should have loved him more.
The click and whir of cameras—present only because of the Tarkentons—made her grief feel less than real, like it was put on for show. Meg put a shielding arm around Katie and pulled her close. Was nothing sacred anymore? The last thing either of them needed was to be the subject of prying eyes.
Upset with the photographers, with Jack, with herself, Meg helped Katie to her feet. Together they walked to the minister, and Meg thanked him for the service. Katie echoed the sentiment by silently offering to shake the elderly man’s hand.
“God bless and keep you, child,” he said.
Katie’s newest aunt, Sarah Masterson, came forward next. Despite her maternity dress and the swell of her belly, she held out her arms, her heartfelt hug steadying Meg. Sarah then knelt and offered her arms to Katie.
Katie walked right into them, taking to her new aunt like a fish to water, much as her Uncle Zach had done. Meg accepted his hug with gratitude, finding solace in his down-to-earth rancher’s strength. “You okay?” he asked, placing his black cowboy hat on his head.
Meg nodded to relieve the worry in his sky blue eyes. “Thank you for flying all the way to New Jersey from Wyoming, Zach. It means more than I can say. And to have Sarah here, too. I’ve never seen Katie accept anybody so readily.”
“Sarah and I thought we’d take Katie off your hands for a while. There’s a duck pond over yonder, in the middle of the cemetery grounds.”
“Yes, by all means. Please make sure she stays away from the photographers.”
“Will do.” He touched the brim of his hat, then knelt next to his wife and tweaked Katie’s nose. “Hey, bright eyes. Your Aunt Sarah and I are going to check out the ducks. Want to come?”
Katie nodded with her usual gravity. Zach scooped her up, setting her burgundy dress swinging like a bell. Meg mouthed a thank-you to Sarah and the three of them set off together, creating a picture of what was to come in a few months’ time when Zach and Sarah had a child of their own.
Allen had wanted a child of his own, too.
Meg hid her distress at the thought and turned to greet the other mourners. She pressed their hands in sincerity, moved to speak personally to the many who had come. She even managed a smile when her oldest brother, Bram, slipped a strong and supportive arm around her waist. “You holding up?”
“I’m fine.”
“Now, Meg, tell the truth.” Amanda, Bram’s blond wife, touched Meg’s hand. “This is your big brother, remember? The Master of all Mastersons. You can tell him anything.”
Hesitating, Meg sighed. “The truth is, I am a little worn. But that’s to be expected, isn’t it?”
Amanda murmured in sympathy and pressed Meg’s hand. The circle of family widened as Meg was embraced by her other brother, Joe, and her sister, Elizabeth. Last came her mother, Mary Masterson, who pressed fresh tissues into Meg’s hands. “Can I do anything else for you, honey?”
“You’re doing it, Mama.” Meg reached to bring the entire family into a shared embrace. “You’re all doing it.”
Elizabeth smiled through her freely flowing tears. “Hey, I’m the big sister here. I’m the one who is supposed to be bucking you up.”
“But you are.” Meg gave Elizabeth a squeeze. But Meg’s gaze inevitably strayed to Katie, safe with Sarah and Zach at the pond.
“Hard to believe our baby brother is going to be a father soon,” Bram commented.
“I know,” Meg replied, relieved at the change of subject. “I thought he would be the last to settle down. But once I met Sarah and saw how special she is, I began to understand.”
“I hear she’s been his saving grace.”
Meg startled at the distinctive, deep voice of Jack Tarkenton. To her dismay, he joined the family throng as though he belonged. To see him casually appraising her, sans sunglasses, caused Meg to shrink inside.
The personal nature of his comment startled everyone else as well. Even his sister Amanda appeared taken aback. “Jack, I didn’t realize you even knew who Sarah and Zach were.”
“It would be difficult to miss the newest member of the Masterson family. Zach ought to be congratulated on his good taste.”
“I wouldn’t congratulate him too much if I were you, Jack,” Bram warned. “He knows your reputation with the ladies.”
“Speaking of ladies...” Jack offered a handshake to Meg. “I wanted to express my sincere sympathy for your loss. I know it’s a cliché, but if there is anything I can do to help you or your daughter, please don’t hesitate to call.”
Aware
