She was surprised that he still felt that strongly after all these months.
What would he do if he knew Doug was trying to get in touch with her? He’d left messages at school and on the answering machine at home, but she hadn’t returned any of his calls. For Mike’s sake she decided it would be best not to tell him.
“Guilt is not a good reason to marry, Mike. Let’s go at this from a different angle. What would I get from marrying you? Besides the obvious reason,” she said looking at her stomach.
He thought for a minute. “Joint tax return. You could be the official team tutor.”
“I’m that, anyway. Why would anything change?”
“Then what about a name for the baby?” he asked.
“I’ll pick out names. I don’t need help for that.”
“No. I mean a last name.”
Kelly’s gaze met his, and she knew what he was thinking. Mike’s mother had never married his father. In school he had gotten into fights because of what the kids had called him. “Bastard.” A dirty, filthy name. All the more hurtful because it was true. He was politely telling her that if she wasn’t married when her baby was born, the child would be a bastard. She felt a tightness in her chest, a small pain around her heart
“That was hitting below the belt, Mike.”
“You don’t have a belt anymore, Kel.”
She blinked and looked away. “You’ve gone from ridiculous to the Dark Ages. This is the nineties. A lot of women are choosing single parenthood.”
“I may be old, but I can still remember how it feels to be different from the other kids. That hasn’t changed.”
“I don’t want to play this game anymore.” Kelly stood up and started toward the kitchen.
Mike took her arm to stop her, then turned her to him. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but there are some things you should think about. I’ve given you a lot of outstanding reasons why marriage is a practical solution to your situation.”
“You haven’t given me one that’s good for you. And don’t tell me about running interference for Bambi and Fawn, or the guilt factor or football. Why in the world would you want to get married?”
He sighed and dropped his hand from her arm. “As you pointed out, I’m old. Old men get tired of living alone.”
Mr. Bachelor Mike Cameron tired of living alone? For just an instant she saw a trace of loneliness on his face. She’d never seen him this way and it warmed her heart that he would share that with her.
“I didn’t say you were old. I said you were living in the Dark Ages.”
“Means the same thing.”
“All right, you’re ancient and you want someone to share the rocking chair with. Why me, Mike? I’m going to have a baby. Doesn’t that make you want to kick that rocker into high gear and run the other way?”
“No. You want to know why?” He looked into her eyes and she nodded. His expression told her he was being completely serious now, and that got her attention in a big way.
“We’re friends, Kelly. The best. That’s more than most people ever have. You know what else?” She shook her head. “It’s all. I ever expect to have. So that makes it pretty good.”
“But it’s not all I ever expect to have.”
“You said you’ve sworn off men.”
“Not forever. Someday I want to find real love, romantic love.” She walked back into the kitchen to continue dismantling her personal possessions. She climbed onto a chair and reached for her cow picture with the words Feeding Time.
“What are you doing on that chair?” Mike took her elbow and helped her down. “Don’t ever do that again. I’ll get that stuff for you.”
He reached the things she couldn’t—the clock her mother had made, the brass plaque that said, “On this spot in 1897, nothing happened,” and the picture of her newest words to live by, “Success is the intelligent use of mistakes.”
“You’re holding out for something that doesn’t exist, Kelly. There’s no such thing as true love.”
Her eyes filled and she turned away so that he wouldn’t see. “I think it exists. My parents had it. I don’t want to settle for less. Thank you, Mike. Someday I’ll probably kick myself for being a stupid fool. But I have to say no to your proposal.”
He let out a long breath. “If you change your mind, the offer’s open.”
“I can’t think of anything that would make me change my mind. But I appreciate it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot to do. The apartment management company is going to check out my application and let me know in a day or two if I have the apartment.”
He stacked the things he’d taken down. “You’re determined to move out?”
“I think it’s for the best.”
He shook his head, and she expected an argument But all he said was, “See you later, Kel.”
“Good night, Mike.”
The sight of him walking away, then the sound of the front door closing behind him were just about the loneliest things Kelly could imagine. She slumped into a chair and stared at nothing in particular. Mike Cameron had just asked her to marry him, and he was serious. Not only that, he was angry that she’d refused his proposal. His kindness made her heart ache. A tangle of emotion tightened her chest and clogged her throat.
She was pregnant. She was unemployed. She was moving. She was probably crazy to boot. What woman in her right mind would say no to a hunky, handsome sweetheart like Mike? Tears gathered in her eyes and she sniffled. She reminded herself that she was doing this to protect him. But she couldn’t stop the single teardrop that slipped from the corner of her eye, rolled down her cheek and plopped on her chest.
If she was doing the right thing, why did it feel so wrong and so awful?
Mike was in a bad mood the next day. At football practice the players couldn’t do anything right. In his office afterward, he sat behind his desk and tried to figure out why. It didn’t take him long to realize that it was him, not them. He was tired. Thanks to Kelly he hadn’t slept well. She had made him mad as hell. Partly because she was moving out, but mostly because she had refused to marry him.
Once the idea had taken hold, he’d really warmed to it. He wasn’t quite sure why he wanted it so much until he glanced around his office. Everywhere he looked were reminders that without the Walker family, he wouldn’t be where he was today. In the glass trophy case across from the door were high school, college and professional awards. There was a photograph of the football banquet during his senior year in high school when Frank Walker had insisted on giving Mike the most valuable player award. Even though the man had suffered a heart attack shortly after that night, Mike had tried never to let Frank Walker down. That had to be the reason why he wanted to marry Kelly and why he was
