mention was that he was already married.
‘It must have been difficult for you, Lowri. Working and caring for a baby can’t have been easy. You must have resented being burdened with such a problem.’ His voice was flat and she frowned, wondering at his choice of words.
‘It hasn’t been easy and especially not this past year. But Megan has never been a burden. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, if you want the truth.’
‘Really?’ He sounded so surprised that she frowned this time.
‘Yes, really. She’s a happy and contented little girl who gets up to all sorts of mischief.’ She laughed. ‘Last year I had the paddling pool out in the garden and she used her watering can to fill my wellies with water. I only realised it when I put them on!’
‘And were you cross with her?’ he asked, studying her face with an odd intensity.
‘Of course not! I couldn’t possibly have been cross when it was so funny.’ Her expression sobered abruptly. ‘I only wish she was well enough to get up to that sort of mischief these days.’
‘She will be. I’m sure she’ll be doing all sorts of naughty things very soon.’
He touched her hand, his fingers making only the briefest contact before he drew away, but Lowri still felt her breath catch. It was the first time he had willingly touched her since that night five years ago and she felt dizzy with the rush of sensations that thought aroused. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to focus on what was happening. There was no point dwelling on the past when it was the present that mattered. However, it appeared that Vincenzo still had questions he wanted answered.
‘You said that you sent me a letter when you discovered you were pregnant. Was it true?’
‘Of course it was true!’ She sat up straighter, realising that she was in danger of forgetting just how tenuous her position really was. Whilst Vincenzo might seem more receptive to what she had to say, it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that he would agree to help her.
She blanked out the thought of what would need to happen if he were to agree. It was stupid to feel even the slightest hint of distaste. She had thought it all through and she was sure that asking him to donate sperm was the best thing to do. After all, she knew nothing about his life these days, if he was in a relationship or had remarried even. The last thing she wanted was to create problems for him so artificial insemination seemed like the best way forward.
Anyway, she certainly didn’t intend to sleep with him again. She had been bitterly hurt by his rejection and had no intention of placing herself in the same position again, even though, if she was honest, it hadn’t been an unpleasant experience at the time. Her cheeks burned at the thought and she hurried on.
‘I wrote to you, Vincenzo, and sent the letter to your apartment in Milan. I don’t know why you didn’t receive it but I definitely sent it.’
‘Neither do I,’ he began flatly, and then stopped.
‘What?’ Lowri demanded, because it was obvious that he had thought of something.
‘I went to America that year—to Chicago—for six months.’ He shrugged. ‘I was contacted by the surgical team there and asked if I would be interested in taking part in their exchange programme and I agreed.’
‘When was this?’
‘The beginning of September. I remember stepping out of the airport and wondering if I’d made a mistake because it was pouring with rain!’ He gave a little shudder then looked at her. ‘When did you send your letter?’
‘The end of August, not long after I found out I was pregnant,’ Lowri told him and frowned. ‘But even if my letter didn’t arrive before you left, it should have been waiting for you when you got back.’
‘Oh, I’m sure it would have been if a new concierge hadn’t been hired while I was away. Apparently, a lot of post went missing while he was in charge of the building, most of it containing items of value. Your letter must have been one of the ones he threw away.’
‘Good heavens!’ Lowri exclaimed. ‘That’s awful.’
‘It is. Thankfully, the police investigated following complaints by a number of residents and he was arrested, so he won’t be doing it again. However, it doesn’t make up for the fact that a lot of post went missing, your letter included, apparently.’
‘It would explain it,’ Lowri agreed slowly.
She bit her lip, mulling over what he had told her. For the past few years, she had assumed that he hadn’t replied to her letter because he hadn’t cared enough; however, it appeared that she had been wrong. The thought of having to adjust how she thought about him made her feel very on edge but she had to put it out of her mind for now. Right now she needed to find out what he intended to do and if she was right to think that he might agree to help her.
‘I know that you probably need more time to think about it, but how do you feel about us having another child, Vincenzo? I wouldn’t press you for an answer if it weren’t so urgent.’
‘I don’t know how I feel. That’s the honest answer.’
Vincenzo drew in his breath. Where was his legendary assurance when he needed it? He felt as keyed up as a teenager, his nerves so tightly strung that it was a wonder they didn’t snap. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before but, then, he had never been presented with this kind of a situation, had he? If he agreed to her request and they had another child, inevitably there would be consequences. How could he make her pregnant again and walk away? He would be tied to her, tied to the new baby as well as to their daughter, and the idea scared him.
He wasn’t father material. He had no idea how to behave in that role. What if he ended up ruining his children’s lives, albeit unwittingly? Everyone believed him to be cold and uncaring and what if they were right? What if he had buried his emotions so deep and for so long that he could never unearth them? Children needed time and love. And love was something he knew very little about.
Oh, his grandmother had loved him. Nonna had done her best to make up for his father’s lack of interest and she had succeeded to a point too. However, since Nonna had died, Vincenzo knew that he had become more withdrawn, even colder with other people. That was why his marriage had failed. Even though he and Carla had entered into the arrangement with their eyes open, his inability to show any emotion had been one of the reasons why Carla had divorced him.
What if he couldn’t find it in himself to treat his children with the warmth they had a right to expect? What if he was incapable of loving them as they deserved to be loved? He could remember only too well how much he had longed to hear his father speak to him with affection. It had never happened but it hadn’t stopped him hoping that it would. What if he was the same? What if he was emotionally bankrupt too?
Vincenzo felt panic assail him and it was such a rare feeling that it hit him harder than it would have hit most people. He was out of his depth and he had no idea what to do to save himself.
Only this wasn’t about him, was it? It was about a child. A little girl who could die if he refused to help her. His feelings didn’t matter. His fears couldn’t even compare to Lowri’s.
He glanced at Lowri, his heart aching when he saw the lines that strain had etched on her face. She had been living with
