me to stop you.’
‘Please,’ she begged, squeezing her eyes shut. ‘I... I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘You want to forget it ever happened; is that it?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m not sure I can do that.’
‘You have to. Or I...I’ll resign.’
‘Resign!’
‘Yes.’
‘I don’t want you to resign,’ he muttered. ‘All right, I’ll go, if that will make you feel better. Promise me you’ll call yourself a taxi. Pay for it out of the petty cash tin.’
Olivia grimaced. ‘I’ll pay for it myself, thank you very much. I don’t need to be rewarded for what happened just now. I’ve never been so disgusted with myself in my life.’
‘It takes two to tango, Olivia,’ he said. ‘I’m as guilty as you are, if guilt is the word.’
‘What other word is there?’
‘Need, perhaps.’
‘Need?’
‘Yes. But we can talk about that another day. You’re not in a fit state to discuss the complexities of life at this moment.’
‘Just go, for pity’s sake!’
‘All right,’ he said. ‘I can see you’re too upset to think straight just now. But I’ll call you at home in the morning. Then we can talk about what just happened without the heat and emotion of the moment, okay?’
‘Okay,’ she mumbled.
‘Good girl.’
Good girl? He had to be joking. Her behaviour just now had been appalling. Lewis had nothing to feel guilty about. It hadn’t been him taking advantage of her drunkenness. It had been her, taking advantage of his no doubt frustrated state. Olivia was well aware Lewis hadn’t even looked at another woman since his marriage broke up. If he had, there would have been phone calls toing and froing, not to mention other evidence. He certainly wouldn’t have been working back late every night, and sometimes all night.
No, he’d been living a celibate life since Dinah left him, yet he was a normal red-blooded man in the prime of his life. His inability to resist his sozzled secretary’s provocative and quite aggressive sexual attentions had been perfectly understandable. No, the shame and the guilt was all hers, right down the line. It was generous of the man to find excuses for her. She didn’t deserve such consideration.
‘Tell me again you’ll be all right,’ he persisted unhappily at the door.
‘I’ll be all right,’ she said weakly, then sniffled, tears now running down her cheeks and dripping off her nose.
‘I’m sorry, Olivia. You don’t sound all right. I couldn’t live with myself if I left you like this. Let me in.’
‘No,’ she sobbed. ‘I can’t.’
‘So be it’
Olivia gaped as, with an almighty cracking noise, Lewis broke down the door.
CHAPTER THREE
‘DAMN and blast!’ Lewis groaned, rubbing his shoulder. ‘That always seems so easy in the movies.’
Despite grimacing with pain, he still bent and scooped up a speechless Olivia from the floor. She was awed by his gentle consideration as he carried her from the small washroom, angling her carefully past the mangled door before laying her softly down on the chesterfield. Snatching some tissues from his desktop, he dabbed at her damp cheeks and still wet mouth, picking out a long strand of hair from where it had caught between her lips.
‘I’ll get you a glass of water,’ he said gently, and hurried back to the washroom.
Unfortunately, his absence brought Olivia’s mind back to the scene of the crime, so to speak. The sight of her shoes and underwear on the floor near his desk made her groan. Memories flooded in of the things she had done and said.
Her heart twisting, she rolled over, buried her face into the black studded leather and burst into fresh tears.
The chesterfield dipped behind her, and she felt Lewis’s hand on her trembling shoulder.
‘Please don’t, Olivia. God, I can’t bear to see you like this.’
‘I...I’m sorry,’ she blubbered.
‘It’s not you who should be apologising.’
Olivia heard his guilt and felt terrible. With a great effort of will she pulled herself together and rolled over to face him. ‘But it wasn’t your fault, Lewis.’
‘Yeah, right.’
His eyes dropped from hers, his shoulders sagging.
Olivia took the glass of water he was holding and drank deeply, using the time it took to empty the glass to collect herself, and her thoughts. She supposed she could keep indulging herself and totally fall apart. Or she could face what she’d done, honestly and without melodrama, and try to go on from there.
The temptation to just throw in the towel was strong, she had to admit. After all, what was the point in going on? The future she’d been working for and planning towards had no hope of being revived. Yvette had seen to that Olivia knew it would take ages before she could trust her heart to another man. If ever.
Olivia was a very careful person.
When she was sober, that was.
Olivia gulped down the last of the water and came to a decision. Lewis didn’t deserve her adding to his guilt in this matter. She could at least pretend she was all right for now, even if it wasn’t so.
There was no doubt in her mind, however, that she would have to resign. How could she possibly face Lewis day after day in this very office? How could she stop the memory of this afternoon from undermining both her own self-respect and the respect her boss once had for her?
Still...the resigning could wait till after the Christmas break. Frankly, she was far too fragile to do anything at the moment except go back to her flat and go to bed.
Alone.
But first she had to make Lewis feel better about his part in all this.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly, and handed him back the empty glass.
His eyes lifted to search her face. ‘Are you going to be all right, Olivia?’
‘Yes, of course,’ she said, although her smile was small and wan. ‘I’m just being a typical woman.’
‘Oh, no,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You’re far from being a typical woman.’
Olivia blushed fiercely
